To be concerned that a Mum from another class is still in our class WhatsApp group?

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DC's in reception and at the start of the year I noticed a number in the class WhatsApp group whose name I didn't recognise. I assumed it was possibly a grandparent of one of DC's classmates, Anyway, I also felt it was a bit busybody-like to look into it especially as I'm not even a class rep so left it. Fast forward five months and after I posted in the group offering some items for a school activity, the mysterious number messaged me asking if I could pass them one. I joked that I hadn't met them yet and they said that their child is in one of the other Reception classes. I'm not sure what to make of it as although our class WhatsApp isn't very active, some parents do post photos of their children after a party and to me it just feels weird (with privacy concerns) that this mum is still in a class WhatsApp group when her DC isn't in it. My question is: is it something I should mention to a class rep as she's been in the group for almost half a year already. WWYD? AIBU to mention it to a class rep?

Our primary school is a double-intake school from Reception upwards, so we have class groups instead of year groups. However, there is only one nursery intake and - since the class groups actually evolved from that - I can see why one parent might have been left on the list for the 'wrong' class at the start of Reception.

For what it's worth, we find the group incredible useful.

No, it's MUCH better when a selected few get invited to a party with paper invitations, but then use the all-class group to say thank you and wasn't it great afterwards...

(Says the voice of experience!)

@InveterateWineDrinker I'm assuming you weren't the parent talking about the party!

some parents do post photos of their children after a party and to me it just feels weird (with privacy concerns) that this mum is still in a class WhatsApp group when her DC isn't in it

In what way is this a privacy concern? Her child is in the other reception class at the same school. The kids will be mixing all the time in the playground and at lunchtimes etc.

Why do you think this woman is somehow more likely to be a risk to your privacy than the other 30 people in the group, exactly?

But the mum's kid is also in Reception. She wasn't in the group when it was for a year that has now moved up, she isn't "sticking around" in a group for an older or younger year group, she has presumably been in the group since it started.

It wouldn’t worry me at all - child is in the same year. Not sure why the Mum needs to be in the whats app group as surely would be better to be in just her own class whats app? Why would anyone want the extra messages (party invites, lost property etc) if it didn’t relate to her class 🤷🏼‍♀️ But it wouldn’t worry me - her child is at the school in the same year.

If a child had left the school, then its the group organiser who should take that person out (if the person doesn’t take themselves out for some strange reason - i’d be gone straight away).

And I can think of a couple of parents who stayed in the WhatsApp group after their children had moved schools, just so that they had access to parents' phone numbers for inviting their children to birthday parties etc -- friends don't necessarily change just because a child switches schools. I imagine they had it muted. I don't think anyone was perturbed by this. After all, we'd known the parent from years in the playground etc.

If children have been at a school pre-school together or if you live in a small town/village, its highly likely people start reception knowing more than 4 parents. I knew over 4 in our year as friends for many years outside of school alone. I knew most by name (and im a working parent who does a quick drop off/pick up) but still knew the majority of parents. I’d been stood in the pre-school pick up line with them, didn’t have to make much effort to get to know a first name and birthday parties started from pre-school. Quickly got to know the other parent names at Reception parties (before the stage of dropping and running from parties!) 😁

Just leave the group if you're bothered by it

🦇 💩

'In the school I teach, they had an active policy this year that all numbers in the group chat had to be identified as belonging to a parent of a child in the class. If they didn't have a child in the class they were removed.'

I can't think why. I hope no-one here tells the school it's BU to have such a policy over such trivial matters. Why would school, or any school, have such a policy I wonder?!

Links to join the three chat groups per class were shared last summer in a public group accessible by a wider parents' group for our whole town (which anyone could join and not morphed from another, say, nursery group) so it's more about the scope for someone with bad intentions to get into the class groups. Also, it's more about parents' expectations and sharing information they otherwise wouldn't if they knew it wasn't staying within that cohort (and for their assumptions to be broken).

In our group description, all of the parents' names, their DCs dietary requirements and other information are listed and since school's been on for a good five months, we all know each other from parties and the PTA's social events. I used 'still' in my OP because it was something I noticed back in Sept and forgot about it until the mum in question privately responded to a post of mine recently in the group. My initial thought was: 'Oh, she's stayed in the group this whole time'.

To be clear, I have no idea whether this mum is who they say they are and I am not going to check it / call them out because nothing they have done is illegal. I am asking AIBU because since September I have not done anything about it but it suddenly occurred to me that perhaps my inaction has been a bad thing that mums generally would disapprove of – quite the contrary apparently! Thanks all.

I see you’re getting a lot of ‘who cares’ and ‘you have too much time on your hands’ responses. But it would bother me too, OP. Indeed a WhatsApp group is never ‘private’ but that does not mean everyone should be in it. Maybe try and speak to the admin, or accept it/leave it/wait until the next school year. I know what you’re describing isn’t ‘dramatic’ but it’s very odd and I would be annoyed by it.

In the school I teach, they had an active policy this year that all numbers in the group chat had to be identified as belonging to a parent of a child in the class. If they didn't have a child in the class they were removed.'

I can't think why. I hope no-one here tells the school it's BU to have such a policy over such trivial matters. Why would school, or any school, have such a policy I wonder?!

At my school the school have no jurisdiction over the class WhatsApp group. It's set up by parents talking to each other and adding people who want to be. The school aren't in it and have no direct involvement that would allow them to decide how it is run.

What do you think she’s going to do that is different to the random 30 other adults you only know arbitrarily?

Yeah, things are run differently at our school. The groups are set up by the school each year and a school admin can enter the chat to check.
It's because of some previous nastiness between parents and, as I said before, people joining who don't have children. Therefore a privacy concern.
I'm not UK based, online protection/ privacy is a much higher priority here.

it's more about the scope for someone with bad intentions to get into the class groups.

OK, so you don't actually know whether this mum is in fact a mum from the other class or not - that obviously does change things. If she is, she clearly clicked the wrong link then couldn't be arsed to change/couldn't work out how. If she isn't, then yes, you are correct to be concerned of course.

I’d message the group organiser and ask them to put a message in the group saying the chat is only for parents of children in xxx class. That way, you’re not involved and makes it clear who should be in the group. Im sure there is an innocent reason and perhaps she is confused over groups?

Why anyone would want to be in any extra groups in life though (especially school class groups) I have no idea.

So all the parents of the kids in your child's class are completely trustworthy, but the ones in the other class are all a bunch of weirdos who are perving on the kids photos?

That doesn't really make much sense. She's just another school mum. Maybe she's best mates with a couple of the others or her kids are friends with kids in your class?

Jesus Christ...

I just received a screenshot from a class WhatsApp group I’m not in so I can see the drama… these are never safe spaces.

It wouldn't really bother me if she's a mum from another class. But do you know that's true? I wouldn't want someone unconnected with the school in the group.

I find it weird that there are school WhatsApp groups at all 😅

Why so much drama, just message fhe class rep and say x asked me for this can yoh confirm who it is, think it’s a mum from the other reception. No biggie no need for drama.

Mine aren't even at school yet but the thought of having to join the class WhatsApp makes me shudder. I absolutely hate drama.

To be fair there’s no drama at all on ours, in fact it’s saved me many times from forgetting something!