If you don’t know who they’re talking about in the staff room…it’s you!

[Tintackedsea]

Anyone else just exhausted by the daily bitchy horror show? Led by the boss so…🫤

I’m never going over the threshold again. Fuck it. I’m taking a flask of hot water and hiding in the loo or my car or the cupboard. Been off work for a bit and coming back has reminded me of how shite it is.

It’s not just me, is it? Lots of you have this?

Teaching?

@Christmasjoyis Oh aye. How did you guess?!

I was about to say nursing.

This is precisely why I never venture in there.
They're always full of silly cunts that have 'their' seat so don't you dare sit in it and then they hold court with their little clique.
Bore off 😴
Don't care if I'm the topic though, clearly means I'm interesting enough to talk about...

I have no idea what you mean, but when I was doing my teaching practice, I loved the children, but hated the teaching staff.

New school needed! Threads like this make me realise how incredibly lovely my colleagues are. Find somewhere new!

I worked in a school many moons ago and was told by a colleague to avoid the staff room because “They gossip about everything and what they don’t know, they make up”. Turns out she was right, and I avoided it.

The way they spoke about the parents was bad enough. Staff rooms are shit boxes.

I get hot water for my tea and 🏃‍♀️

I knew it’d be teaching! Not all of them but I tend to find teachers generally belong to the same tribe - middle class, slightly basic, slightly bitchy, keep up with the Joneses types. Avoid!

Our staff room is lovely.

It is not just you @Tintackedsea. It definitely comes from the top down. I've worked in places where the bitching wasn't encouraged/tolerated and so I didn't see much evidence of it. If the Head is catty then the bitchy people will know that they have the go-ahead. It gets really toxic. I used to develop all kinds of strategies to not have to go in there. Flasks, staying in my classroom all day doing displays, etc. The thing is, they want you there (in the staff room) some of the time so that they can quiz you about your life/find fault with you then criticise you afterwards.

I have since had an ASD diagnosis though, and know that I am very much afraid of group situations.

The last place I worked in was a catholic school; there was an on-going battle between the know-all, self-righteous Head and the ancient old priest next door. She bitched about him endlessly and the staff sucked up to her by giving her little nuggets about his minor crimes. For example: how skew whiff his parking was, or how boring he was, or whether he needed a hair cut/his nose or eyebrow hair removed. I did say they were horrible.

@EvangelicalAboutButteredToast I have worked in places where the staff room is lovely, but I also know that they can be completely toxic - as I was saying after your post above - if the Head is awful then it will give the bitchy people the go ahead.

People who are skilled at managing in a group situation (who are not perpetrating the bitchiness I mean) will know how to keep under the radar, but some of us just don't seem to know how to do it no matter how hard we try. Avoidance is the only answer sometimes.

They can be so nasty

Proper bullies

What?

I taught secondary for 30 years. My colleagues were fantastic. It’s them that kept me in the job. Going in the staff room was always a laugh. No one was ‘bitchy’ l miss my lovely colleagues 5 years later.

They lit up my life and made me cry with laughter every day.

I was bullied in the staff room in one school. It was worse than when I was a pupil. So happy to leave.

That was not my experience in 30 years teaching. It was the opposite.

Horrible comment. Keeping up with the Joneses? I’ve never met one teacher who did that

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow I think primary is different to secondary. I don't know why.

Happy for you @ArseInTheCoOpWindow
Sounds lovely.

Sadly @Covidwoes there’s no other school for over 60 miles. Utterly trapped.

I’ve taught for 30 years in secondary schools and I don’t recognise these descriptions. My colleagues are brilliant, compassionate and intelligent people

I could have written this post, felt the same way, did the same things. For me it was a lonely life but the location of the school was perfect, the students ideal and the parents held me in high esteem. The staff room and INSET days were a nightmare.
Imagine my reaction when I learned a few months ago that the person who bullied me has been receiving exactly the same treatment.

I wonder if this is something about everyone having breaks at the same time and being in there together, creating a more intense situation than an office where the chat is on and off all day, and tends to be in ones and twos?
All it takes is a couple of unpleasant people holding court and a captive audience to seem like everybody's at it. Whereas in an office you move away, or get engrossed in your work if you don't want to be part of the nastiness. Just a theory.

I was in a school for over a decade where we celebrated birthdays and had funny, joyful nights out. We played cards, did the crossword, had a book group.

Two months after starting at this place I developed a twitch in my eye and put on a stone and a half that I can’t shift. If I drive past the building at the weekend I feel a bit sick. I cannae thole them. The level of nasty is stratospheric.

This could equally apply to any Council staff room too. Been there .