If you don’t know who they’re talking about in the staff room…it’s you!

[Tintackedsea]

Anyone else just exhausted by the daily bitchy horror show? Led by the boss so…🫤

I’m never going over the threshold again. Fuck it. I’m taking a flask of hot water and hiding in the loo or my car or the cupboard. Been off work for a bit and coming back has reminded me of how shite it is.

It’s not just me, is it? Lots of you have this?

Yeah that’s what l found.

No small minded pettiness or nastiness, just loads of support and laughter.

Never found that in 36 years of teaching. A group of us used to play cards in one school in the days when we had a proper lunch break. I was the youngest (24) and my whist partner was 65, and a real gentleman.

That was also my experience.

In the 40+ years I taught in nine schools, I never encountered bitchiness in the staffroom. Critiques of SLT or advice about colleagues were offered outside this social area. In all the places, endless support and encouragement from colleagues. I'm still in touch with ex-colleagues from the UK and meet with Aussie ex-colleagues.

As it happens, it was the staffroom that brought me to MN. It was a thread in the TES, when that magazine was a lively source of discussion worth reading at all. A link was put up to a thread started by an MN mum who was incensed to find out that teachers talked about pupils in the staffroom.

It definitely depends on the school. Some years, the staff room is what has made the job bearable. I've had a few years where our 'leadership' team was the worst. In these schools, staff banded together to support each other, make each other laugh and get us all through the day.

I’m sure the majority of teachers are lovely, but when I googled one of my old school bullies recently, she’s now a teacher. So, there’s that. Presumably she’s matured since then, though.

I'm a supply teacher, so see many staffrooms. There are empty ones, lovely ones, and (small minority) bitchy ones.

When I was a class based teacher, I very rarely went into the staffroom, as I would normally use the time to mark morning work/prepare afternoon lessons.

During my teaching practice, two schools, both toxic staff rooms. They'd be bitching about a staff member, then they'd walk in and they'd be all smiles, a different teacher would leave, and they'd start bitching about them. Put me right off teaching. The kids were great, but I couldn't cope with the toxic atmosphere. Talking to friends who still teach, not much has changed in 20 odd years.

Wow.

In my experience. The tougher the school. The tighter the staff

Definitely find a new school. My staff room is full of funny people having a giggle over lunch. No bitching ever. Just funny stories about the kids and what we are all watching on Netflix!

Sounding rather unkind yourself to be fair. Also, I don't really think teachers try to keep up with the Joneses it isnt that sort of job. Most are just trying to survive each day.

Worked in a school for 3 years. I didn't know people could be so vile until I started that job! I still can't walk past the place without feeling sick.

I work in secondary education and have been astounded by the level of nastiness in the 2 schools I have worked in. Not just mindless gossip but real, horrible nastiness. Not from all staff but certainly the majority. It is a real shame as it means I basically don’t talk to anyone in case I become the target.

You are coming across more than 'slightly bitchy'.

I’ll live.

Look, that was my experience in most primary schools I worked in over 5 years so I can absolutely relate to the “bitchy horror show” OP describes.

@SeanConneryIsMoniquesMotherwhat a horrible generalisation. A colleague of ours died a a few years ago, and while she was in hospice, her husband said it was her ‘school family’ who really helped him through those awful times (and also helped her when she knew she wasn’t going to improve). He said we really were another family to her. Reading your generalisation is quite upsetting.

I’m sorry about your colleague and I’m glad she and her husband found comfort in you all but respectfully, my comment isn’t about you. It’s about my experience and how I relate to the OP.

My colleagues are generally very lovely people.

Yes, a colleague experienced a stillbirth recently and they were surrounded by compassion and support on their return.

Yeah that’s what l thought.

I think you get what you give.

Staff rooms are places for people to let off steam and socialise. I don't think teachers / other school staff are worse than any other group for bitchiness - it is part of human nature you will find in most workplaces (not a part I join in, like to relax and not talk on my short lunch break). However, most workplaces don't have the fixed lunchtimes for staff where everyone gathers in the same room at the same time every day. The staffroom is also the only safe, child-free space at school where we can complain about the things we find stressful at work. Teachers are no worse than other people, but circumstances are different.

In that case, @SeanConneryIsMoniquesMother, you should have said ‘some teachers’.

It's horrible really. The 1:1 of my DS (secondary) told me what some of the teachers were saying about him and me; I was an overinvolved mum who didn't know my place and my child shouldn't be in school to start with. I know the 1:1 shouldn't have reported back to me but she's lovely and found it offensive. It was really hurtful though. Happy that some teachers actually liked him- math and history teachers were very supportive- male both of them. Come to think about it it was only women being nasty..

i think you are right! I have seen staff bullied out - and it’s worse because schools are supposed to be butchering kind empathetic and yet the teachers bully other staff members over and over again! You are either in the clique or you’re bullied out.

They should be ashamed