If you don’t know who they’re talking about in the staff room…it’s you!

[Tintackedsea]

Anyone else just exhausted by the daily bitchy horror show? Led by the boss so…🫤

I’m never going over the threshold again. Fuck it. I’m taking a flask of hot water and hiding in the loo or my car or the cupboard. Been off work for a bit and coming back has reminded me of how shite it is.

It’s not just me, is it? Lots of you have this?

I actually said “not all” in my first post @Covidwoes.

Yep. Im a teacher ive had some much mental health distress at my school due to the bitches (its never the kids!) Im now trying to accept that EVERYONE will and probably does bitch about me. Once you have accepted that and are fine with it then I think work will be fine... I think

100% this.

Interesting. I didn’t realise that this would be normal in a teaching role.
It’s awful behaviour from adults.
Some folks don’t grow up.

This thread is horrible. I just don’t believe it. Teachers are not ‘bitchy’ ar al ime.

I only taught for a year in a very small school - the bitchiness and unfriendliness was horrendous. There was a total lack of empathy for me as an NQT and everyone could see I was struggling but they never offered support or kindness. It even got to the point where the Head had to gather us all together and tell us to get on, just like Year 3 girls!! I never returned to teaching, and also I found I much preferred to work with men as they are much simpler to work with.

Friend of mine did a year as a TA at a time in her life when she just needed a part time job without too much pressure. She found it extraordinary that there was very much a "them and us" divide in the staff room and the teachers clearly felt themselves above the TAs and never talked to them. It was such a waste, when if they had co-operated as a team they could have achieved so much more. The ridiculous thing was that friend was way more qualified than the teachers and was sitting the classroom buttoning her lip when they spelt things wrong or claimed that Mali was in South America, and she was by no means the only TA in a similar position.

It’s why I probably won’t teach in schools again, i’m too worried to!
I had two awful experiences, bullying and such bitchiness between people basically, it was horrendous. However, both schools had unprofessional headteachers and deputy heads and just a very toxic environment.
I have made some of my best friends whilst being a younger teacher and they are kind, intelligent, amazing people, but the groups around us (mainly older women) were vile people…awful to the kids too. You would think at that age they would know better and be more mature than the twenty and thirty somethings.
I’m now late 40’s and it’s not an environment I want to return to.
Would love to know the psychology of why this happens so often within teaching (this was Primary, the secondary staff seemed to get on well and there was much less drama!)

Tbf, my school doesn't even have a staff room. There is no escape from the staff or the kids

Totally agree - I’m a teacher and it really is one profession you can be guaranteed to find judgemental, superior snobbery all round the place. Rarely go to the staff room unless I have to. Such a judgemental attitude towards kids and parents too - I don’t know why so many people like this decide they want to work with kids and families .

Funny, the only teaching staffrooms I ever had trouble with were in the UK, and in independent schools. Bitchy as fuck, competitive, jealous, backbiting. A lot of very inadequate teachers who felt that a newcomer, and an outsider rocked their comfortable torpor. Christmas and end of year gifts were compared, as proof of popularity, and sneered at. Outstanding results in Common Entrance, Scholarship, GCSEs, A-Levels were belittled. Given impossible workloads owing to results. Gossip, sniggering, like year 5 girls, post from pigeonholes and books etc hidden. Brownnosing the Head, who was usually all fur coat and no knickers. As one of my colleagues said, following his return from MH sick leave, these schools run their best teachers into the ground. Just hideous.
Having said that, there were some wonderful, amazing people with whom I'm still friends after 20+ years.

DH and I were saying this yesterday, he is a nurse and I’m an associated profession and I’ve never encountered such an unfriendly and bitchy profession (with notable exceptions) and he says the same - as a nurse of nearly forty years.

It’s not normal.

The problem with teaching is that 90% of teachers have only ever been /worked in a school/ educational environment .

They leave school at 18, they go to college till 21/22 then they go back into school. This makes them more childminded in the slightly spiteful attitude in the staff room.

Obviously I am generalising …… but it’s a definite trend. They have no experience of working in a purely adult environment.

And yes I am a retired teacher , but I didn’t go into teaching till I was in my mid 30’s.

The workplace bullying threads, whether admin or not, very often seem to be the NHS.

I can only imagine what they say about the parents behind the staff room door.
Horrible environment, that’s shit, A few teachers I have met are friendly and kind, I can imagine they’d be easily bullied in a toxic workplace.

If you not invited to dinner, you’re probably on the menu

International or independent schools are the worst!

Can honestly say I have never experienced this in over 20 years of secondary teaching. Our staff room is full of kindness and support for each other, as well as lots of laughter.

it is everywhere. I work with men predominantly.
Never went in the staff room but one day was cold outside and I went in and all these men came , swearing, shouting mysoginistic abuse to each other about their girlfriends, accused each other of underage women interests, talked about the business of the ones not present in the room. I don't know what the heck happened.

this digusted me so much, that I decided not to go to the work Christmas party, nor any drinks nor anything

Immediately guessed teaching! Would also presume primary as secondary have much bigger staffrooms. Though actually not all have proper staffromms anymore and they are like ghost ships.

It all depends on your age/what you want out of job colleague wise. Me, I would go there every day, find a comfortable position, listen and input. Keep your enemies close, kill them with kindness, let them acknowledge you're strong and can see through the bullshit. If it makes them feel uncomfortable all the better!

After doing this for a while I would most likely retreat to my classroom, knowing I'm worth more amd thinking they must be so sad to be so itchy.

One extra thought would also be, why are they saying things about me? I would like to find out why. Xxx

Join the group on FB 'Life After Teaching -Exit the Classroom and Thrive.' I've never looked back after leaving teaching! I was so miserable. I'm now doing student support and much happier.

I thought it would be teaching too

I worked in a school many years ago, there were a couple of lovely staff members there, but the majority were really not very nice, very two faced. I’m so glad I left.

Sadly, if you think about it there are catty people around whenever there's a group gathering. I was at lunch today at the community center where I live. There were only five of us at the table and there was a lot of general complaining and gossip about other people in our community. We are all 70 years old and up. So the consensus is some people never outgrow this behavior. I've even encountered "backstabbers" at church functions.

I've worked in a lot of schools. Behaviour is generally awful but on the whole, staff rooms have been fine. Move schools.