To send my SEN child to boarding school abroad?

[Aislyn]

My child is in year 6 and we are facing the local council naming a school which is a disaster for her. They have said already that they will not name any of our preferences. She has an EHCP.

Private school in the UK is completely unaffordable due to VAT. I am feeling aggrieved about potential extra taxation due to SEN. It is only due to SEN that I am having to look at private school for her: she requires small class sizes and strong pastoral support, but is very intelligent.

Private boarding school in Ireland is cheaper than day school here. She has an Irish passport.

I am alternatively considering sending her further afield, where we have family.

Any recommendations for Irish schools?

And it really depends on the degree of SEN. If DD’s at the milder end she may cope ok in a mainstream school with smaller classes. If at the more severe she may be better off in a private SEN school.

I have previously tried mediation and the LA didn't even turn up, so yes, it was a complete waste of time.

All your salary goes to you duh!

I think this is a bad idea Im afraid .Most SEN children are sensitive and appreciate their home comforts . Being sent away is traumatic for NT children as it is without putting extra needs in the mix!

It may depend on the child. Also - it really helps in future life to have a good education. It's very hard to catch up later on.

I probably wouldn't do this. But people need to remember it's difficult and very costly to move house, the family has Irish connections, schools within an hour of Dublin are not actually that far away if you're close to an airport. It might be as close as the nearest British state boarding school.

Boarding in Ireland was very common until quite recently - people of very modest backgrounds boarded because they often didn't live close enough to secondary schools to be a day pupil.

GCSEs add a lot of stress and the Junior Cert might suit highly-anxious children better.

It isn't always best for a family for one parent to drop out of the labour market to do home-schooling.

If the assigned school is a bad match, then I can see why parents would think about other options.

OP: could you give the local school a go, topped up with after-school tuition/lots of enrichment so your daughter has a social network outside of school? And if that isn't working, look at beginning secondary school in Ireland once she is 12/13?

Omg that’s disgraceful, I’m so sorry 😞 it’s so much harder when you have a Sen betweener child-if they need specialist but are more academic. I hope tribunal is more fruitful for you.

Unfortunately my LA constantly outdoes themselves with how terrible they are. I am so stressed worrying about which sink school they will allocate my daughter to.

Visit them. Talk to them. Keep going with the appeal. There is so much that can change before Sept let alone afterwards.

Our LA holds a panel right at the end of the summer term. All the parents I spoke to at DS's autism unit had places awarded on the penultimate day of the summer term. It's horrible for the children & parents to have all that uncertainty and no transition but these places have to go to someone. In our LA they seem to go to families who still have their hat in the ring on July 23rd.

Why is it ‘disgusting’ for grandparents to pay?!

"They have said they will not name any of our preferences".

Who has said this?

They are not supposed to say this.

Have you named a school and been turned down?

I suggest you get advice from SOS!SEN.

I’m guessing by some of the language you’re using you’re in London @Aislyn- there’s rapidly declining roles and so much movement between offer day and September I think it’s highly unlikely you’ll miss out on all your six. And when this did happen for my neighbour a few years ago (bigger roles) she hit the phones and found another place at a school out of borough that wasn’t in thee six as she really didn’t want the LA allocation. This child wasn’t SEN; SEN makes it more likely not less that you’ll get a place you are happy with.

Also remember a MS school won't want a child whose needs they can't meet, "sink" school as you put it or not. Another way this can play out is you visit the MS school named, talk to them about her needs, convince them that she doesn't have a hope of coping and they then go back to county and say actually they can't meet need. And as I said before, you also need to find out why they think they can meet her needs in the first place.

Lots of steps still to go with this, especially if her EHCP is decent. Presumably if funds allow boarding school abroad you can also get whatever private professional reports you need to strengthen her case - SaLT, OT perhaps? You don't even have a named school yet, it's far too early to panic.

If you get an indepedent Educational Psychology Report completed you can request that they speak to your preferred school and the LA suggested school. In our case the Ed Psych definitely must have said something to the mainstream ARP that put them off as after they spoke the LA rolled over on placement.

That's correct. What made you guess?

It's true that there are declining roles in some areas, but the decent schools are still vastly oversubscribed and cap the number of EHCP children they take.

I could only name 3 schools as my child has an EHCP. I have been told that none of the 3 will take her/the council will refuse to fund already. The council doesn't ask for further preferences, they just allocate the child.

@Aislyn

Was this school a possibility, OP?

limpsfieldgrange.co.uk/

Somethings not right here, a school can’t say that. The school have to give a reason .. such as they can’t meet the child’s needs, if that is th school you want, the local authority almost always side with the parent,

This school sounds amazing but I didn't ask for it as we live some distance away and the council always want something local as they don't want to pay for transport. I never considered that there would be even a slightest chance of getting a place there sadly.

One school has said they cannot meet need. The council will not fund the other schools.

I haven't read the full thread but if she is very bright woudl a bursary at a good London day school be possible or are her special needs likely to mean a special school or provision within another school is necessary?

If considering boarding abroad Dublin is a short flight from London so I do not see why that would be a problem. Lots of people from London send children to board all over the place, never mind the other way round - some English boarding schools are packed with children from as far abroad as China is.

Has the school explained which aspect of her needs they would not be capable of responding to and why?

Why has the council refused to pay for her to go to one of the other schools?

You have to appeal OP. My DD16 AuDHD went to a private school for the same reasons as your requirements and it was great for her. She is now in a state 6th form college which is small with small classes too. You are right it makes a huge difference with the right pastoral care. But boarding full time no. Mine did a couple of nights a week using flexi boarding (lone parent at the time and I travel for work) and it was great for her but she needed to be home most of the time as it was her safe space where she can decompress etc.

Sorry OP but to get the school you want, you have to be set on it and have the evidence to get it and then you don't listen to anyone who tells you "you will never get it", you just keep plugging away.

Lots of children are funded to go to specialist schools in London. Many, if not most, were originally turned down.

My son has ADHD and an EHCP. His social worker leant heavily on his secondary school to take him, even though they said that they couldn't provide for him, as the alternative would have been to keep going two days a week to a place that only teaches English and maths. He was so bored. He now goes to this school and, since he settled in, is doing well.

The school has both residential and day pupil options.

Their website says that they have open mornings and welcome informal enquiries.

If you are in the London area, could you ask about the open mornings?

I'm suggesting this because you do sound disconsolate and I wondered whether you would feel more supported if you were to meet staff at the school who would, at least, understand your predicament.

https://limpsfieldgrange.co.uk/about-us/admissions/

If you are prepared to transport you may be able to negotiate a school like this. Is that a possibility? Even if you had to pay a companion it would be cheaper than boarding school.
If you refuse the school place and keep her home with a parent or childminder the LA would be obliged to offer alternative provision I.e. tutors