To send my SEN child to boarding school abroad?

[Aislyn]

My child is in year 6 and we are facing the local council naming a school which is a disaster for her. They have said already that they will not name any of our preferences. She has an EHCP.

Private school in the UK is completely unaffordable due to VAT. I am feeling aggrieved about potential extra taxation due to SEN. It is only due to SEN that I am having to look at private school for her: she requires small class sizes and strong pastoral support, but is very intelligent.

Private boarding school in Ireland is cheaper than day school here. She has an Irish passport.

I am alternatively considering sending her further afield, where we have family.

Any recommendations for Irish schools?

Personally, I wouldn't send my child to boarding school, irrespective of whether they have SEN. Other kids (and some staff) are shitty enough in day schools; it would be unbearable being stuck with bullies 24/7.

Is there a local private school that fits your child's needs, OP? If no local state schools meet your DC's needs and a private school says they do, the LA will pay the school fees (in theory -I'm sure it would be a fight, but it can be a done).

From my experience of boarding schools, there is a large push to conform and fit in. Understandable really as they have to care/control(!) children day and night. Whilst some kids (especially those with unstable home lives) thrive from the routine and rigidity, others push back at every boundary for 5 years. It’s not their fault, they just don’t necessarily fit into the model that many boarding schools rely on. They’re labelled naughty and constantly sanctioned or disappear into themselves because every moment of their lives encourages masking and that’s exhausting.

Now, I’m sure there are parents who have found boarding school to be a positive experience for their SEN child(ren) and ultimately only you know how your child would cope with being away from their main support system and ‘fit in’ to a pretty rigid system. It’s also important to note that smaller class sizes don’t ensure better outcomes for SEN kids. Some teachers with huge classes in the state sector would win hands down experience wise because they see it all the time. Of course there are excellent teachers on the private side too but you need to do a lot of research into private schools and ensure they’re right for your kids needs. Ultimately, they’re selling a product to you so you need to see past the sales pitch and figure out how well they actually support SEN kids in class but also all the other hours of the day when things can spill over for them and make life harder.

Please don’t…..

It could be learnt of course if the wish were there, but it’s another added difficulty.

We have Irish medium schools too as well as the usual mostly English language ones. But even in the English medium schools Irish will be studied from age 5. I think it’s the same sort of thing in Wales? This child will most probably have no Irish at all. She could catch up with significant effort, but it would be hard on her. I haven’t heard of immersion centres per se, but there are lots of places offering Irish language classes during the holidays, though they’re mostly aimed at Irish students.

You can't honestly think it'll be easier for her to adjust to boarding school in another country than it would be to have a school with larger class sizes than is ideal. There are tons of schools with excellent pastoral care.

Puberty is hard enough as it is. Add ADHD / autism to the mix and being away from your loving supportive family and home and suddenly all your guardrails have been removed and you are in free fall through the difficult teenage years. Even when the school is good, it can end up feeling like being handed over to a system. I am shuddering at this. You must be very trusting in others OP.

Yes, entering the system at second level means they would be exempt on the basis of age.
However, my son has asd and doesn’t not have an exemption (he would love one though). It’s not automatic.

Not here to say either way but just that I know how you feel. My daughter is the same and really struggled with school refusal etc in year 5/6, the local secondary schools are all really good in general but none felt right for our child, we are very fortunate to get financial help from family and our daughter attends the local private school. She is thriving in the smaller class and the support is great. I honestly would not know how she would have coped if she boarded. It would have to be a big discussion with the child, visits to the school etc all sounded more difficult if it is abroad.
on a side note there is a school for ASD girls in Surrey that I think does boarding, no idea of the costs but you need an EHCP.
good luck to you and your daughter whatever path you take.

Private schools in Ireland are not set up for sen kids , state schools have far better resources in that regard. There are also g v few girls boarding schools Alex in Dublin would be one and it’s a v good school but it’s a high achieving school and not one I imagine a child with significant needs would thrive in ..

@Aislyn i did exactly this for exactly the same reason. I am happy to share my experience with you, if you would like to dm me.

Totally sympthise, and I admire your resourcefulness, but agree that boarding school is tough, especially with SN (HFA?). Loads of sports, long school days, sharing dorm rooms and bathrooms with however many others... obviously I don't know your DD but unless she's actively keen on the idea I think it's a no-go, sadly.

I've worked in private school and also private schools that are boarding schools (in addition to working in UK state schools).

Just so you're aware. MOST private schools offer less SEN provision than state schools. SEN provision is expensive and private schools are all about profit.

In addition, I've worked in European boarding schools. Many, many SEN children are sent away from families to private school because their families can't cope with them. These schools become in effect sink schools for dumped children. It's very, very sad. The children end up being very damaged due to what they inevitably come to regard as rejection by their parents.

I've made this sound as if I am very anti boarding school. I'm not. BUT I am for SEN children. They will be in a foreign country to you and you will have no real idea of the amount of support and help they are being given. It just isn't possible if they aren't with you and if their education is taking place at a huge distance to you. And to be clear, your child due to their SEN is more vulnerable than the average child. They need a lot more of your focus on them. Which you just won't have if you don't see them daily.

As a teacher, I can say in all honesty, SEN provision almost everywhere is not great. It costs A LOT to educate an SEN child really well. Consequently, most places just paper over the surface.

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In your position, I would send them to a UK state school and then buy in private tuition specific to their SEN. It can take place in your home. Your child will have 121 support and you can chat to the teacher/tutor regularly to track how your child is doing.

If she’s intelligent, have you looked to see if you have a selective nearby? Our two grammars give first choice to a child with an ehcp if they have the pass mark

There shouldn’t be any taxation on education, however in your position I’d probably suck up the vat. You could probably get a scholarship if DD is bright/sporty/musical etc.

Well that makes even less sense. Leeson St has boarders? Our Lady’s bower hasn’t had boarders since probably the seventies. What is Galbally? There are still a couple of girls boarding schools - Alexandra, Pres Thurles

Go to tribunal and appeal- I’ve never known an Sen case to be knocked back

The question is whether DD can cope with the local state school at all. OP seems to think not otherwise she wouldn’t be considering Ireland boarding schools

One attraction is the lack of GCSEs - the exam load is lighter with Junior cert.

Transition Year also suits many young people.

Strange im 30s and have friends who were boarders in bower. Thats very odd. Yes lesson street as in Institute of education has international students that board. Galbally is a boys school like glenstall abbey.

Garbally's now mixed, has changed its name, and no longer has boarders!

I don't think sending your child to school in Ireland is the answer.

As PP above said you need to appeal for the school you want. You need to appeal Sections B and F as well.

Information here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/appealing-to-the-send-tribunal

As this is a phase transfer the LA must legally issue the Final EHCP by 15th February.

I find a way that doesn't involve sending my child to another country.

I cannot think of anything worse for a SEN child being uprooted to another country!

To give context, the LA will probably name the failing local comprehensive, which is literally full of fights, knives and gangs.

I realise this seems like an extreme solution but I feel stuck here.

I can't home school as I work. I cannot work from home due to the nature of my job, and due to my daughter's sen, she couldn't be left alone to get on with work.

I will definitely appeal the LA decision, but the tribunal may not be in time.

If she couldn't be left alone to get on with work how on earth would you envisage a boarding school of all places meeting her needs?

We haven't applied for grammars as while she is bright, she wouldn't pass due to significant gaps in her learning due to having been out of the classroom for years. She is catching up rapidly now, and has been assessed as high learning potential. She needs the right environment to be able to access classroom learning.