Is my DS’s tutor being unreasonable

[PWPmum]

My DS 11 who is in year 6 has a weekly tutor to help him prepare for his SATs and support his spelling. He is dyslexic. She insists on being paid at the beginning of the month with the sessions she will teach agreed in advance.
My DS is not well today. So I contacted the tutor to let her know he can’t do the lesson today and asked if we could roll the lesson over
she has replied saying as the cancellation is on the day and her time is booked out, there is no rolling over or refund.
But there will be no lesson today so part of me feels why should I pay?
She’s offered to teach him at the weekend but we’re busy then.
I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not to push for the credit to go towards next month or not.

Yeah in fairness if your boss called and said they were closing for the day and you weren’t getting paid it would be kind of the same thing.

You sound awful. I bet you would kick up a massive fuss if you got paid late!

She has to earn a living so I understand why she will not refund last minute cancellations. You are putting her out. She offered you a weekend slot but you refused because that would put you out. You sound like a very entitled person TBH.

You have booked the tutors time. Why should the tutor lose out? If a child is in a paid nursery or childminder, parents don’t get refunds when a child is ill as that space doesn’t get filled. If a taxi driver turns up at your house and you suddenly can’t go, by law, you still have to pay for that unused taxi as they could have taken someone else instead. People, especially the self employed need to pay bills. If they offered refunds, people would be cancelling left, right and centre with no consequence

I am a tutor and this is exactly how I operate.
Although very small, it’s still my business and I have bills to pay.
If I receive 24 hours notice, I deduct the payment from the following term.

This thread has made me so mad.

I'm a piano teacher. I rely on that income. I charge per half term, and if I have to cancel a lesson I always roll over the payment. If pupils have to cancel, I always offer a catch up lesson time IF I'm able to - but I don't refund or roll over payments.

I don't guarantee availability because I have a busy life and loads of students but I always try to be accommodating as I understand things happen. However, I have no requirement to offer a catch up (would swimming or dance lessons? Of course not, and you wouldn't expect it). I make all students/parents aware of my terms when I start teaching and always have a waiting list.

In 40 years of teaching I've only had a handful of people with this attitude. I'd actually mind a lot less if any of the people like OP behaved this way with swimming, ballet, brownies, school trips...but not in my experience. They save it for the self employed individual who already panics when they're ill themselves because they worry how they'll pay their bills.

Yes you're being unreasonable. She won't get paid when she was supposed to so that's less in her pay cheque. It doesn't matter if your DS is sick or that the lesson didn't take place. You can't agree to have lessons booked so no one else can have them, then on the day let her down. Illness isn't a valid excuse, you still have to pay. I once couldn't get home and was 1.5 hours away so missed our tutor that day. I paid her in full for it. Wasn't her problem I was stuck.

It's actually quite embarrassing

You're being massively unreasonable. Although it's unfortunate that your child is ill, the tutor is running a business and it's not her fault that your child can make the appointment (or the alternative she generously offered). Tutoring isn't just 'the session ', it's lesson planning, prep, and marking / feedback. You're also paying for a regular slot which means no one else can use that time, and she can't get a replacement in as a one-off to make the money up, so short notice.

If it were any other club, you'd be expected to pay in advance for the term, without being offered a refund if they don't go. Realistically, if you want to use a tutor it needs to be a viable business for them, and unless they charge for cancellations, it won't be.

In the end DS was still unwell so we had to miss the lesson today too.

You’re being v unreasonable

ha!! Love it! Not that you child was unwell of course, but that you missed another one and have paid for it. Serves you right.

You sound like a nightmare client

She's got your number.

I expect if you keep messing her about that she will fire you as clients.

And she'd be right to do so.

Well, one of those things, OP. Just accept that you'll have to pay for the session anyway and write it off as one of those things.

I hope your ds feels better soon.

Very pleased to see everyone coming out in support of the tutor. Absolutely entitled attitude on part of OP. I hope the many messages on here have given food for thought and had some impact on how she deals with this kind of situation in future.

She's offered you an alternative but you're "busy"........

No need for nastiness

I have only read your OP and this answer. Are you insane? You cancel with less than 24 hours notice, you pay. She was very generous to offer one other slot. Her cancelling and offering a credit is completely normal. That's not comparing like for like.
At this point I think you're leaping several great whites at once...

Of course you need to still pay if you cancel on the day. The tutor needs to make a living and it’s too short notice for her to teach someone else.

You clearly think your tutor, engaged to help your son, is worthless and disposable. Do her/him a favour and jog on, let someone else deal with you and learn your lesson. If someone is engaging your son, surely that’s worth more than a few pounds to most parents …… clearly not to someone like you. Do you also steal from shops etc?

I'm suspect as other have indicated you will be needing to find a new Tutor for your son soon.

Both my children had tutors and if I cancelled on the day I still had to pay them in full. You have to remember this is their job and livelihood. If everyone cancelled their slot on one particular day that would be a full days gone for them.

Picture this

• it's next week
• it's a different day
• someone else rings the tutor and say their child isn't well
• straight away she rings you and says she's free and would like to give your son an extra lesson.

If you not paying her is fair:

• you MUST say yes
• you must have the money to pay her for the extra session
• you must never be too far from home to get back for it
• you must never be on holiday
• you must never be doing something too important to stop

Because that's the reality. If you take away the tutor's income for today, the income she needs to pay her bills, eat and feed her family, the only way she can replace it is if she can offer the services to someone else and get paid for them. If you want her always to be able to do that, so that families in your position now don't have to pay, then you need to be always available to be the ones to make the money up.

It’s not nastiness, it’s a reality check. The world doesn’t owe this woman something because her child was ill.