To think perimenopause is an overused buzzword?

[Furning]

My friends and I are mid to late 30s. A lot of them are now claiming they’re perimenopausal, and if I mention I’m hot, or I've forgot something, or cant concentrate, they rush to tell me it’ll be perimenopause.

If they are struggling to lose weight, or forget what they’re saying, or anything at all negative happens, it’s because they’re perimenopausal.

I know some women might be in their 30s, but surely not most? Why is everyone suddenly obsessed with it?

So there are thankfully some doctors who listen.

I’m so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, I can relate. It just takes the rug from right under your feet. I have had to leave my job and my relationship is really suffering. And people on here are calling it a bandwagon.

I wish I could get the fuck off it!!

I had to leave my job.

Dont be so ficking judgemental.

Aargh, I can’t even spell correctly anymore, nor punctuate!!

I was advised by rheumatologist who made no effort to explain my vaginal dryness and other classic perimenopause symptoms, to stop doing nights and go part time. The only way to do that at the time was to go on the bank (zero hours contract), it was career suicide. By the time i started hrt i was down to one 12 hour shift a week and struggling to even do that.

Nearly 3 years into HRT, and 7 months on mounjaro to clear the 6.5 stone weight gain (all centrally on my trunk) i am now trying to rebuild my career, but how successful I'll be i don't know.

It makes me really sad.

There are people who are indeed in perimenopause.

There are people who genuinely have ADHD.

There are people who have suffered at the hands of narcissistic abuse.

Just because these things are being openly discussed more on public forums and social media does not reduce the suffering and experience of others down to a simple buzzword.

In times gone by, many of these people would have suffered alone in silence, I’m glad people no longer have to do that and can much more easily find resources and coping mechanisms and community.

If it’s too buzzy…remember we all have the option to just scroll on by.

You seem strangely bothered that a women's health issue is getting more awareness.

Get yourself a cup of tea and a biscuit and maybe ask yourself why you give such a shit about this.

yep and if you’re 53 and have a mirena coil which stops periods, how do we know if we’re menopausal? 🤣

If you and your friends were mid-late 40s I’d be saying Yabu, but in their mid-late 30s it’s unlikely (yes I know it does happen that early for some, but won’t apply to the whole group).

Yes, I am both. And that is ok, and I am ok with it. And I'm not even old enough for it, going by your measurements 😘 😂 Why wouldn't a woman be angry about other women being silenced or denigrated for discussing things that affect their whole life?

Are you a man who's wandered over from Reddit? Have you had enough attention yet? Do you need something you're not getting? You don't need to reply because I'm bored now, I just had to get the last word in because I'm right 😘

That’s absolutely disgraceful treatment!

It’s awful reading all of these experiences of women who are ignored repeatedly by medical professionals.

Who are told they are exaggerating or imagining symptoms, kept in the dark about symptoms/diagnoses, and are expected to suffer through debilitating physical and mental impacts.

Who have to beg for basic fucking treatment or medication to make their lives less of a nightmare.

Who are then told to get over it, it can’t be that bad, it’s not an illness. That it doesn’t happen in your 30s, you’re wrong.

And women on here agreeing with this?

Denying us our experiences?

I experienced the beginnings of perimenopause in my 30s.

This is the experience of MANY women, but they aren’t listened to (how many times do I have to say this?)

AND THE WOMEN ON THIS THREAD WHO REJECT OUR EXPERIENCES ARE PART OF THE FUCKING PROBLEM!!!

From what my endocrinologist has told me, it is the peaks and troughs of Oestrogen, and rapid fluctuations between them, in perimenopause that give the extreme symptoms and the oestrogen hrt is there to 'smooth out' those extremes.
So in theory symptoms should calm down significantly at menopause and therefore the dose of oestrogen hrt required should reduce once menopause actually happens (I'm currently on a massive 200mcg dose, so hopefully I'll get down to something well before 100mcg in the future). After menopause the oestrogen hrt then becomes more about protecting bone health, rather than desperately managing crippling symptoms.
So there should be some subtle changes that indicate that it's happened, but beyond that, if you have a Mirena you don't actually get to know.

One thing I would like to say that is partially agreeing with naysayers is, it isn't always peri, and if you have symptoms that dont quite fit you can ask for different tests. You may have thyroid problems, a gastro condition, a chronic infection or severe anemia. Its not ok for other health problems to be ignored by doctors because you're in the age bracket for peri or menopause. But if the shoe fits, try HRT and see if it helps.

Not talking about it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

it just means women are embarrassed and suffering in silence with things they could have support with

Absolutely, those things also need ruling out. It’s why it’s important for doctors to listen, do simple tests to rule them out.

I went with classic peri symptoms, including physical changes with vaginal atrophy. got told it’s because I’m under the mental health team.

how the fuck can I change my vagina?!?!?

I think it’s very true to say that some women are ‘desperate to have it’.

It is symptomatic of our times when normal human life experiences are medicalised. Whether it’s emotional or physical it gives some a box to tick in the victim list.

I also yearn for the days when we were sent out into the woods to birth, with only a stick to bite on for the pain and a rough hessian sack to throw the baby in to haul it back to camp. No backbone, these days.

I think everyone would like to be in the 20% of women to suffer no symptoms, but the reality is that most women will be in the 60% of women with mild to moderate symptoms and these women want to be listened to and validated and have their symptoms managed particularly as we are a generation where most perimenopausel women are working often in highly responsible and demanding jobs, and many of us had children later in our fertile years. This isn't being 'desperate' it is being practical.

Then for the 20% of is who fall into the severe symptoms bracket, we just want timely diagnosis and adequate medical management so that we don't become a suicide statistic, because this is the tragic reality of severe menopause symptoms.

It's also worth mentioning that the 20% of women with no symptoms are at risk of harm in a medical system/society that does not recognise the importance of perimenopause and HRT as they are likely never to seek advice and HRT, and it is the oestrogen in HRT that will protect them from osteoporosis, and frailty fractures and the high mortality rate that comes with them should never be underestimated.

But sure, it's just consumerism, buzz words, and uppity women!!

I thought I was starting perimenopause in my early 40s but it turned out I was severely Vitamin D deficient and resolving that cleared the symptoms.

Ten years on and my periods have just started going a bit irregular so I was about a decade early!

Yes, this.

But, the rage here from some posters!
What helps me (yes, only speaking for myself) is to never have been overweight and quitting alcohol. 😁

I wouldn't know if i was in peri. I'm 41, not had periods for 20 years thanks to birth control, never suffered with PMT pain or any mood swings or really any hormonal changes that affected my mood.

So not sure what my first symptom would be 😂

When I was in mid 30s HCP were putting the aching joints and tirdness down to being a mother with young kids - on here and RL perimenapuse was being suggested.

It was vit D and some other vitamin deficiencies in end as suppliment more focus on diet and getting out in summer months and I was like a new person - the SAD I'd always though had in winter went away as well.

Friend slightly older with young kids was told similar then pnd - they did the blood tests but still missed she had an underactive thyroid as results were just filed not looked at.

I didn't get the impression OP was say perimepause doesn't exist or isn't bad for some women but her mates in their 30s putting everything down to it when they are statically unlikely to be suffering yet means other things can be missed.

I hate seeing women on here using it as a caveat that a shit external factor could be because they are perimenopausal. For instance, my boss is behaving badly at the moment and it’s making my life a misery. I’m also 46. The fact I might be perimenopausal because of my age does not negate his poor behaviour, yet I see that sort of thing all the time these days. Me getting HRT is not going to make him less of an arse - otherwise I’d be banging down the doctor’s door!

But generally I think it’s positive that it’s becoming something that’s openly talked about. 5 yrs ago it was still a dirty secret women had to suffer in silence.

My mum would start a post like this. Rolling her eyes saying they never had things like this in their day, they just got on with it.

meanwhile. I remember her tears, her tantrums. Her awful moods that affected the house, her depression, her isolation. I bore the brunt of most of it (I was going through puberty so awful combination) and now we don’t talk.

like fuck am I repeating that for my family.

If you were perimenopausal you'd tell you boss to go f*ck himself and worry about the consequences afterwards.