Wedding Invite to Husband Only

[MiniOneFree]

A wedding invite arrived by post today, we were expecting it and excited to open it.

Only my husband's name is on the front.

On the back it says 'this invite is just for the guest(s) named.

It's the reception only from 6pm, at a hotel, so not the actual ceremony.

This couple (let's call them Amy and John) came to our wedding in 2022. John is an old school friend of my husband's. They are in touch all the time. I met Amy at our wedding, she seemed friendly but as with weddings I didn't get to talk to her much. She made a comment which I do remember about my husband punching above his weight, which not only offended my husband but also we felt was a bit weird and rude as was in front of a group of around ten people who all laughed.

I want my husband to go to the wedding, if he wants, but would rather he didn't, but I don't want to stop him.

However he says he will decline and tell John we are away. However I want him to be honest and say he's not going as I've not been invited.

I think it's completely astonishing and I can't help but take it personally.

Is excluding wives and husbands a thing now ( like not including children) ?

Is it understandable to be so upset about this or AIBU?

Things can change in four years. The fact that OP’s husband is a “close friend” but still only an evening guest suggests they have.

He's not 'only an evening guest'. OP said he's invited to the reception, which starts at 6pm.

You think the wedding breakfast starts at 6pm? 😝😝

What's a wedding breakfast? Would it be that unusual for a wedding reception to start at 6pm? Our wedding started at 5pm with the ceremony.

You really don’t know what a wedding breakfast is?

My personal response would be to decline as" I'd rather not go alone."

I know what a wedding is and what a breakfast is - hadn't come across the term 'wedding breakfast' before though. I've googled now and see its not literally a breakfast though- just the meal after the ceremony. So 6pm seems like a reasonable time albeit a little on the early side.

Early?! It’s late!

Not gonna lie, I am gobsmacked that someone has never heard of a wedding breakfast!

Yes it is. Very late.. The 'night do' is often shortly after 6pm...

The wedding breakfast is usually between 2pm and 3pm.

OK in my defence I'm Australian - but I'd assumed our wedding traditions were pretty similar but turns out not. I've never been to a wedding when you'd be eating before 6pm!! Maybe that's why we don't have this evening guest concept!

Fair enough @CypressGrove

You think the wedding breakfast starts at 6pm?

It's not what I think, it's what the OP said: he is invited to the reception (not wedding breakfast), which begins at 6pm.

It probably started the same as in the UK but shifted out due to the weather! Ours tend to go ceremony, cocktails then dinner (or breakfast as you would call it).

In Australia, wedding ceremonies typically start between 2:00 PM and 4:00 PM, with 3:00 PM being the most common, allowing time for morning preparations and avoiding the harshest midday sun, particularly in summer. Receptions often begin around 6:00 PM, following a 1–2 hour cocktail hour for photos, often wrapping up around 11:00 PM to midnigh

The wedding breakfast is usually between 2pm and 3pm.

That depends what time the ceremony is, doesn't it? If you have a mid-late afternoon ceremony, and the reception is at a different venue, it could well be 6pm by the time you're sitting down for the meal.

Why? It's an antiquated and nonsensical term that I'm surprised is still being used. None of our family or friends group has had a 'wedding breakfast'. It's been wedding, reception, evening do.

But you know what it is though, right?

He’s still not invited to the ceremony.

Only because I've seen the reception referred to as such on Mumsnet a couple of times. I've never come across it in real life, so I imagine it's pretty easy not to have heard of it (even if you don't live in Australia).

Exactly. Pretty much everyone in the UK will have heard of a wedding breakfast, and there is nothing antiquated or outdated or nonsensical about it. 🙄 The only thing that is nonsensical is the comment saying it's antiquated and nonsensical! I'm embarrassed for that poster. 😬

.

'I have hardly ever seen it, therefore it doesn't exist.'

LMFAO.

I would think they were being cheap. Especially as they were both at your wedding.

I didn't say it didn't exist. I said that it would be easy not to have heard it.

Grow up.

ETA and of course it's antiquated! Google it and you'll see.
And it's nonsensical because it isn't a breakfast. Unless you're going to force your guests to fast until they're fed mid-afternoon.

People who don’t invite partners are saying as much, in more tactful language.

It’s not literally a breakfast. The term comes from it being the first meal of the marriage; like the first meal of the day.

• Literal Meaning (17th–18th Century): The tradition originated from a religious requirement to fast before a morning wedding ceremony (usually part of a Mass). The meal immediately following was the first food consumed, thus "breaking the fast".