AIBU to think that there are adults trying to push for an autism diagnosis, that actually have a personality disorder instead?

[surelycantjustbeme]

Someone I know is currently pushing for an adult autism diagnosis. The “autistic traits” she talks about were never present in childhood and seem to have appeared only in adulthood.

From what I’ve read, that pattern can sometimes fit better with something like borderline personality disorder, where there can be a lot of symptom overlap but the difficulties are more tied to relationships, emotions and past environment, and often show more clearly from the teens onwards rather than right through childhood.

I’m posting here because I can’t really talk about this in real life, and I’m genuinely curious whether anyone has come across similar situations. Has anyone seen someone really push the idea that they’re autistic when it doesn’t quite match their history?

For context, this person has always absolutely refused to work or take on any responsibility, and whenever they’re asked to step up, they suddenly lean on “I’m autistic” as the explanation. I obviously can’t diagnose them, but I’m increasingly wondering whether something like a personality disorder might be a closer fit than autism.

Everyone who knows this person knows there have never been any such symptoms in childhood, it's only recently where responsibilities have become a real demand and it's almost being treated as a get out of jail free card.

I know people who have genuinely severely non verbal children, and I also know people who have children with genuine ADHD and are on the spectrum, and the childhood challenges it presents. So please don't read this as me being insensitive in any way.

Am I being unreasonable to think that there could be adults with personality disorders, trying to push for an autism diagnosis instead as it's more widely accepted and better understood.

I wouldn't know. Other people's MH issues are private.

Only a psychiatrist can diagnose a personality disorder. Are you one?

Well, if they aren't autistic, then they probably won't get a diagnosis.

Ultimately, though, it will be for a qualified medical practitioner to decide, and not a random acquaintance/friend/family member, who might have a rather narrow interpretation of how autism is "supposed to" present based on a relatively limited knowledge of the subject.

I wouldn’t know . But personality disorders don’t just appear out of nowhere either . You sound quite nosey to be honest . It’s really none of your business.

It's entirely possible for someone to think that being diagnosed as autistic will be the solution to all their problems, especially someone who may have a PD - because having a PD means you already see the world through a different lens. However, it's actually much more likely to be the other way round, in reality. Especially among women and BAME people, people with autism are more likely to be misdiagnosed as having a PD.

There is a high prevalence of overdiagnosis of borderline personality disorder in autistic adult women. It does stand to reason that given the crossover in traits that some people may see themselves as autistic when they actually have BPD.

I guess it’s possible but I think it happens the other way round more often.

lol at autism being widely accepted and well understood.

In my experience, the opposite is the case. My DB has textbook ADHD (diagnosed in the 1980s), his DS has autism, my DS has autism. DB also has a BPD diagnosis, which has always baffled me as I have two close friends with BPD and he presents nothing like they do. I think it’s blatantly obvious that he’s autistic himself.

PD is also onset in childhood/ teenage years usually as conduct disorder or similar. It does not just come on a person later in life as it is a collection of behavioural traits. It’s routed in genetics and in early experiences.

I honestly don’t know why people are so keen on labels these days and on having the right label. Lots of people with autism now saying that DBT helps them more than CBT. This is a therapy originally designed for EUPD so why does it matter so much what we are calling stuff? If you have difficulty regulating your emotions for whatever cause then let’s just help you access some strategies and therapy to help you with that.

I mean, yes and no. Some people probably do assume they have conditions they don't have.

But the ASD diagnosis focuses a lot on childhood and requires input from people who knew you as a child, so I don't really see that people would be routinely misdiagnosed.

It isn't about difficulty in regulating emotions. Its about the need to understand yourself and the absolute fucking relief that there's a reason you've struggled for as long as your memory extends back with things that are deemed to be standard human functions.

It also kind of helps with learning and understanding the things you struggle with, and what measures you may be able to take to mitigate those struggles.

YANBU. Personality disorders are under-diagnosed in general, partly because a required criterion is that the condition has a pervasively negative effect on the subject's life and relationships. Some PDs present with unshakeable self-belief, making the people very unlikely to seek diagnosis or to admit that their own behaviours impair their relationships.

These days, Borderline PD is mostly called Emotionally Unregulated PD or simply Emotional Dysregulation. Interestingly, autistic people often have difficulties with emotional regulation, and autism does impair life and social functioning. It doesn't, however, bring the paranoid delusions and 'schizoid' beliefs associated with the PD.

A person can have both an autism-spectrum condition and a personality disorder. At the end of the day, she has pervasive difficulties with managing life and relationships - so how much does the label matter?

And yes it is more widely accepted and understood than BPD/ EUPD which is heavily stigmatised so no wonder people don’t want that particular label. A few years ago everyone was wanting to get reignited with complex PTSD and appaers to be non significantly different from EUPD to be honest. I don’t blame people for wanting their difficulties to be called something different but I vainly wish we could stop being so bothered with diagnostic labels which are not some kind of amazingly accurate holy grail. A formulation and a biopsychosocial treatment plan are much more helpful.

Possibly.
I would hope that professionals whose job it is to diagnose people are competent to do so.

I had to attend an autism awareness course for work a couple of years ago, and the trainer said that women with autism are often misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

I mentioned it to my niece who was diagnosed with BPD at approx 18. She got herself referred for an autism assessment and yes, she's autistic.

Yes there will be adults around looking at what they think are benefits for people diagnosed with autism/mental health disorders, who make think that it opens up an easy life of additional help with benefits and working conditions.

Of course there will be, for as long as there has been possible easier routes in life there are always chancers wanting a piece of it.

As for your friend @surelycantjustbeme who knows? When they are assessed for it to be recognised by the NHS they will need thorough assessments which will include their medical history, so that might direct their consultations towards conditions which are not autism.

It will be a long wait and lengthy process regardless, to try and mitigate the chancers, if nothing else. As it should be so the finite help can be targeted to genuine cases.

Well according to my last psychiatrist that is not true. He diagnosed me with PD at the age of 50 with no childhood trauma and no MH issues in my younger years bar anxiety. I’m also diagnosed ASD.

Just to add that additional help with benefits and working conditions is not diagnosis-dependent. Assistance is based on the kind of difficulties you have, where they hamper your ability to get things done normally.

I might have opinions on this, but the point here is that many people do think a diagnosis is a key to an easy life. They're wrong on both counts (though any system, can be scammed).

To be diagnosed with autism, the traits must have always been there and no other condition can better explain it. So those you are worried about pushing for a diagnosis won’t get one.

It’s also typical for people to mask and then as they get older, especially peri/menopausal age to no longer be able to do so. Therefore, others might not be aware of what traits there were when younger because they were hidden.

I’m not sure. I do believe that there are children suffering from psychological disorders and emotional regulation disorders aka personality disorder that are misdiagnosed, or diagnosed under the umbrella of autism.
The worst part is CAMH’s refuse to help children with their anxiety, mh when they have a diagnosis of autism, so there is a generation that aren’t getting the right support.

I’m not aware of any benefits that are dependent upon a diagnosis. Which ones do you believe are?

Things like PIP etc require additional care needs and medical support proving them. PIP also has been assessed by the DWP as having a 0% fraud rate.

Spot on. Nobody can tell you this based on a MN post.

That being said, girls have been proven to get a much later diagnosis for any kind of autism because they mask a lot more. I have worked with several women who have pursued diagnosis in adulthood because in childhood they ‘passed’ as NT and nobody was there to support them.

You say you know non verbal autistic children... but do you know an autistic child that masked? Academically didn't struggle?
I say this because you are so adamant this person never struggled. But ny mum was adamant I couldn't have adhd as I'm a teacher, and don't fit the criteria. I asked to fill in the questionnaire for my assessment last year, aged 38. The doctor assessing me read my mum's notes and said how it was very clear that in childhood it did show up at home. When I explained my mum was adamant I didn't have adhd, the doctor was extremely surprised. My mum.also didn't know how much I struggled at school, uni relationships etc. I thought it was normal and struggled on my own.
What i an trying to say it, there are the stereotypes of autism, etc, but every person with autism is extremely different. Some can mask, look like they are functioning in society but actually are struggling. I think you have a very strong opinion, aren't educated enough on the matter and should let this person do what they need. The professional will decide.

That misdiagnosis is more common the other way around and well documented.

look at her friends are they neurodiverse? Because we tend to clump together that way.

also she’s female. My mother would say there were no signs in childhood but she missed them all because I wasn’t a train obsessed non verbal white male. The fact you comment on knowing non verbal kids shows you really don’t have an understanding of the spectrum tbh

I don't think I've ever met anyone who has been misdiagnosed with Autism. But a lot of us were misdiagnosed with something else before our Autism diagnosis