AIBU to think that there are adults trying to push for an autism diagnosis, that actually have a personality disorder instead?

[surelycantjustbeme]

Someone I know is currently pushing for an adult autism diagnosis. The “autistic traits” she talks about were never present in childhood and seem to have appeared only in adulthood.

From what I’ve read, that pattern can sometimes fit better with something like borderline personality disorder, where there can be a lot of symptom overlap but the difficulties are more tied to relationships, emotions and past environment, and often show more clearly from the teens onwards rather than right through childhood.

I’m posting here because I can’t really talk about this in real life, and I’m genuinely curious whether anyone has come across similar situations. Has anyone seen someone really push the idea that they’re autistic when it doesn’t quite match their history?

For context, this person has always absolutely refused to work or take on any responsibility, and whenever they’re asked to step up, they suddenly lean on “I’m autistic” as the explanation. I obviously can’t diagnose them, but I’m increasingly wondering whether something like a personality disorder might be a closer fit than autism.

Everyone who knows this person knows there have never been any such symptoms in childhood, it's only recently where responsibilities have become a real demand and it's almost being treated as a get out of jail free card.

I know people who have genuinely severely non verbal children, and I also know people who have children with genuine ADHD and are on the spectrum, and the childhood challenges it presents. So please don't read this as me being insensitive in any way.

Am I being unreasonable to think that there could be adults with personality disorders, trying to push for an autism diagnosis instead as it's more widely accepted and better understood.

I mean someone is free to think what they like, but only a psychiatrist can determine what the diagnosis is. I can speculate all sorts of things that could be behind symptoms I have.

ADHD has been around for 250 years , Autism 200.

She sounds totally ASD. When demands increase they struggle more and more until they can’t pretend anymore. Girls often conceal traits in childhood.

Asd in females is often misdiagnosed as BPD.

Yabu

My point stands.

You don’t believe in neurodiversity?

Seriously. My friend also came out with that rubbish. It just makes you look so ignorant.

This is another thing.

Don’t we all ‘mask’? Who is honestly the same around their parents, lover, boss, public, clients, friends..?

I thought everyone, even extroverts, find an excess of ‘masking’ tiring and feel some relief at going home and closing the door sometimes.

No, I don’t.

Please can you provide incontrovertible proof that human brains are divided into ‘ND’ and ‘NT’?

I think you have to have met someone like this to understand what OP is talking about. YANBU OP, I know someone who clearly has a personality disorder who managed to get a bunch of other diagnosis by mimicry. I grew up with them and know them intimately, also know people with the disorders they got diagnosed with. There is definitely something wrong with them, I don’t doubt that but it’s not what they claim it is. This is not a common thing by any means but these people definitely exist.

Not to the extent it has a significant impact on life and leads to MH struggles.

It is actually the other way round. Women often receive at least 2 or 3 diagnosis that are incorrect prior to an autism diagnosis, the most common being BPD but can also be schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

You have to remember that there are generations of women who have not been aware of what autism looks like, have not been aware that they are not crazy, lazy or weird and not been treated correctly when they have sought help for their mental health.

Medicine is sexist at it's core, ADHD was also seen as something only young boys could have and would grow out of as adults (probably because they would marry women who would run their lives).

All this narrative around over diagnosis is highly inflammatory and incorrect. We are still in a state of major under diagnosis. The only reason the government and media are pushing this narrative is because Wes Streeting wants you to no longer be able to get support for mental health on benefits even though we know that this support actually helps people get into the workplace rather than keeping them out.

I think that it ought to be acknowledged that the whole of medical diagnosis and perhaps especially psychiatry is susceptible to societal norms. It’s often not all about any new scientific discoveries why people are diagnosed with one thing or another it’s quite often more to do with what society wants it to be.

These days people appear to happy(ish) to get diagnosed with FND but this is for exactly the same symptoms as what used to be called conversion disorder and was rather less popular as a diagnosis. This is just a more acceptable conceptual framework in today’s society.

I am much more interested in what can be done to help people than in what we are calling it

I thought not all autistic people were introverted or had MH issues?

@Playingvideogames exactly! Anyone is going to get overwhelmed when demands increase?! It's almost seen as if a NT doesn't struggle in life with anything so as soon as someone does oh it must be because they're on the spectrum.

Who said they are or do?

That’s not how it works at all.

Nobody seems sure how it works tbh

People who have autism or ADHD often only really notice the indicators in adulthood. In women they often become more obvious after they have children - that's what happened to me when my ability to mask was absolutely shattered. I would have said I had very few indicators in childhood and my mum couldn't think of any but in actual fact they were there the whole time and just not recognised until well into adulthood. Most of the adults you talk about didn't have the opportunity or knowledge of diagnosis when they were younger.

Some of this thinking is propagated on the blogs and tweets of people who want you to pay them privately to get diagnosed with ASD however. Not a lot of money in diagnosing people with EUPD.

I’m not saying there is nothing in this at all just that the ubiquity of people confidently stating this as a true fact concerns me. It’s at best an opinion.

Everyone is going to get tired walking up ten flights of stairs but there's a difference between how an able bodied person and a person with one leg will or can handle it.

Yes they do. NHS diagnosis we went through seemed pretty sure and was a robust process.

And that would make sense, if the symptoms were as concise and uniform as a missing leg. But some people say autistic people can be very sociable, extroverted even.

Certain diagnoses carry more stigma than others - very few people would consider FASD assessment for a condition which is at least as common as ADHD and has been convenuently missed in a number of ND infographics. On the surface it can look very similarily to ADHD.

The diagnosis isn’t based on how sociable a person is.

But social skills (or lack of) are meant to be a big part of the diagnosis criteria aren't they? So no wonder people are confused.

This is total shite.

My 19 year old dd is asleep on the sofa. 2 hours at uni have wiped her out. GCSE put her in burnout. I don’t even know if she can carry on with university despite wanting to as she is so exhausted.

This is ND burnout.