To pay for a private menopause clinic as GP so useless?

[Nearly40mumof4]

Hello, first time poster here. I’ve been struggling with my hormones for as long as I can remember. I had HG with every pregnancy and was hospitalised a few times with the vomiting, but when breastfeeding I was totally fine. My mum had a hysterectomy when she was about my age (39) and so I think there’s a strong hereditary aspect to this. Fast forward four children (youngest 4 now) and I think perimenopause has begun: shorter cycles, really horrible symptoms (mainly psychological and mental rather than physical) Seen GP several times but useless. I can’t tolerate hormone birth control as seem v sensitive to progesterone and nothing they suggest helps. I’ve tried all the mindful stuff etc etc but doesn’t seem to make much difference. I’m healthy weight and have a good diet and active lifestyle and have popped every supplement known to man. The symptoms come and go like clockwork, half the time I’m fine, the other half, I feel like a different person.

Even though we’re not well off, should I try a private menopause clinic? Do you think it’s worth it? A local clinic in York said £250 for an initial consultation.

@Calmdownfolks thanks that is very good to hear. Good for you sticking to your guns. At times I am very able to advocate for myself, then at others, i am a shadow of myself and struggle to muster the energy to fight. I've booked an appt at a private clinic on Friday, the Dr (male) sounded very empathetic during the initial conversation and was basically apologising for the poor/wrong treatment I'd had. This is from an NHS gp too- he said many gps just don't take hormone issues seriously. My mum was on hrt from age 40ish as total hysterectomy so hrt patches were part of our life growing up- if they came off, she would feel different within hours and we certainly all knew about it. I don't blame her now as I am really frightened by how strong the impacts of hormones can be. I just know something is happening to mine, ie peri, as things are certainly ramping up. I hope to get some positive news of a way forward after Friday.

@Astra53 I've been following the comments on that guardian article. It's very illuminating. Plenty of women commenting and there's some good info in the comments that isn't in the article itself- v useful for anyone who might also be affected. Thank you for sharing the initial link.

@Bimblebombles I know exactly what you mean. Today my school run was awful and I could hardly get out of the car - just can't face people. I write the number day of my cycle on the calendar and have to try desperately hard not to schedule anything from day 13 to 22. Holidays are tough. It's like my tolerance levels are reduced to zero, so I bite back at anything my family does wrong. I try hard with my kids and they use all my patience, but my arsehole husband really pushes all my buttons and knows how to wind me up, "You're like a different person", "here we go again, you're crazy" that kind of thing.

Haven’t read the full thread but I started HRT in October after going private. Made enquiries with regular GP but fobbed off as only peri and still getting regular periods etc

i was having HORRIFIC pms, likely bordering on PMDD- mood swings, raging, angry, screaming, crying for 4/5 days a month. I really didn’t recognise myself during those few days….

I was reluctant to take the progesterone because I‘ve reacted badly to it in the past. I had to have my implant taken out a few weeks after having it put in because the mood swings were terrible. So far, I’ve been absolutely fine on the utrogestan I’ve been prescribed; apparently it’s bio-identical.

The PMS is next to non-existent now and I’m feeling so much more “even” day to day. If you can afford it, definitely give it a try. It’s made such a difference for me

My sister went through early menopause, it’s no unfeasible this happens and GP’s are pretty bad with women and this unless you find a specialist. I have been in Peri for a long time, I was finally lucky enough to get hold of the specialist in my GP’s but prior to that is was just pointless. In my first phone call, I described my symptoms and she immediately was yep you are in peri. It really does unfortunately rely on that level of expertise and if your practice doesn’t have one then find answers elsewhere. My advice is don’t be fobbed off and keep pushing whether it’s hormonal imbalance or peri go and find answers. You know in yourself you are not feeling right. I ended up on both HRT and anti depressants, my life is unrecognisable now to where I was. Good luck in your journey the right help is out there.

It's 100% up to you what you spend your money on. Don't let anyone else tell you different. It's your health, do it.

They did this to me and I ended up on anti depressants for 18 years when. I’m 57 now and had my last period when I was 42. Thankfully due to someone at work who knew about it, I went and got on to HRT, and was able to come off the anti d’s ( but that hasn’t been a picnic as I was on them for so long.)
i initially went private (zoom call with a gynae specialising in HRT) and it was cheap but this was a few years ago. Since then for various reasons I have seen/spoken to a couple of gynaes as referred via NHS and they are very clued up (well the female ones are, I’ve yet to find a really decent male gynae when it comes to HRT).
Ask for a referral to a gynaecologist. As sad as it is, if you say it is affecting your libido you are more likely to get a referral. Such is the sexist world we live in , where it’s only important if the woman can’t continue providing service as it were. The only times I have been referred on NHS to gynae is when they thought I might have cancer (turned out to be eastrogen sensitivity) and then for libido because I wanted to try testosterone and GP doesn’t prescribe anything that’s off licence unless they have consultant input. So yeah, if it’s anything that’s affecting our ability to have sex, babies or stay alive to do those things and you’re golden. Finding it hard to function, no that’s not not important, you’re a women, just get on with it. Can you tell I’m cynical about the state of women’s health services!

@boeballs thanks for replying and encouraging. I've got an appt on Fri with a private specialist, so I'm hoping for some kind of prescription. Sick to the back teeth of being told to exercise, eat well etc (I do them all!) Or avoid stress (what do I do with my kids then?! Or how do I pay the bills?!) I think @NattyKnitter116 is definitely right that there is so much misogyny in the system. My dh has a shoulder injury and not once has he been told to meditate to get over the searing pain and inconvenience of it. It says a lot that most medications are tested on men not women because hormones interfere with results/trials. There's a good book called invisible woman which goes in to how women are overlooked medically. Sadly it seems from my post that I am far from alone and I'm sure that for every one of us who can afford to spare cash to go private, there must be dozens who can't and then where are they left? It's a sad, shameful state of affairs.

@Deboragh thank you for helping spur me on. I've done it!

@Sureitwont thank you for sharing your experience. I was exactly the same with the inplant, it was horrendous. Someone joked (prob in bad taste, but..) that its the best contraceptive you can have because you feel so sh*t that you can't even contemplate sex! It's a miserable business but good to know that with the right treatment, there can be another side to life. I hope it works for me too.

I can really recommend Dr Catherine Coward she used to work at Newson Health but now works from Myvia Health, appointments are online, but pricing is really transparent and she encourages you to go back to your GP after the initial appointment and continue your treatment through the NHS.

https://myviahealth.co.uk/menopause

I’m in London and paid £125, plus the first prescription was £60ish, then I moved to it being prescribed by the NHS. Why would it be unreasonable? It was the only way I could get HRT prescribed at age 39 despite having early perimenopause because my (male) GP wouldn’t listen. 2 years later I feel great.

@RS1987 that's good to hear. My first appt is costing £275(!) But hope it will be worth it. I am having face to face for 1st appt. I hope to feel great afterwards too but apprehensive and not wanting to get hopes up as I know it doesn't work for everyone.

I went to private MP clinic. Very good, will give you whatever you want but the cost became prohibitive as the regular private prescription charge soon adds up.

Update: had a great consultation this morning with the private specialist. I have left with a prescription for an off- license combination of drugs which is going to cost a small fortune, but should hopefully help me out and apparently works well for severe pmdd which is bleeding in to (forgive the pun) perimenopause. Got to start on day 1 which will be in a few days. Obviously this may not work but things can’t get much worse than they are currently. I can highly recommend the first part of this process anyway, it was a pleasant experience and certainly such a relief to speak to a gp specialist who not only believed in the severity of my symptoms, but also reassured me that there was better treatment out there for me than I have had previously. If anyone is similar and reading this and wants to ask any qs about my experience, send me a message. Thanks to all the people who commented on my post.

I paid for one private appointment after waiting 7 out of 8 weeks for the NHS meno specialist GP. I was desperate, really struggling with peri-meno symptoms despite maxing HRT.
They gave me testosterone, which the NHS GP is continuing to prescribe and I feel sane again.

I wrestled with the decision but it was the best £250 I’ve spent. It’s a ridiculous situation to be facing but you deserve proper health care ❤️

I went into psychosis at 44 and I had a lot of work stress but im pretty sure hormones played a part

I went private. I’d had a partial hysterectomy at 38 ands at 44 was struggling. My local gp suggested meditation!!

Private gp has been great and been on hrt 18 months now and my local gp has taken over again with no issues, although the one I saw has retired so this is a new one.