Blatant racism from school - parent won’t do anything

[Wishthingswerenouting]

My niece who is mixed race is at a predominantly white school. She is 1 of 2 kids who aren’t white. Let’s call my niece Sarah. Let’s say the other kid is called Jenny.

there’s this one teacher who tried to give my niece detention for “wearing fake tan” told her her legs are orange and said that she’s breaching uniform policy. My niece explained that it’s just her skin tone and in the end managed to avoid the detention. She has also been a bit of an arse to my niece separate to this.

this same teacher calls my niece Jenny, and Jenny Sarah. They look absolutely nothing alike. Not even similar skin tone aside from anything else.

my sister says I’m being dramatic in saying that it’s outrageous and she should complain. My niece agrees with me but her mum won’t raise it. Aibu to think this is very blatant - at best ignorance - and should be logged?

Just checking year on calendar ... Yep, 2025. Where in the world are you that an adult can't recognise a mixed race person's skin tone and thinks it's artificial?

I'd go absolutely ballistic about the fake tan thing. That is beyond ridiculous.

yep. She does have a very warm undertone. But it’s certainly not a false tan look.

I’m absolutely furious about it. would I be wrong to complain myself? I’m very close with my niece and pissed off with my sister who says micro aggressions “really aren’t a big deal”

The school would pay no attention unfortunately. They'll only engage with parents. You're a lovely aunt and your DNiece will appreciate your support in the long run.

You might need a new calendar ;)

But yes, OP, this is awful and should be raised. If your neice agrees, perhaps push more for the parents to raise it.

It is 2026 😁

Children old enough to understand the process can make complaints about their school themselves, starting with the head teacher or governing body. The school should have an anti-racism or anti-discrimination policy, which she can refer to. Would you be prepared to support your niece in this, if she would want that, if her parents will not?

It’s not your issue to manage. You don’t say how old the niece is, but she sounds old enough to raise a complaint myself. I would recommend the complaint is specific to the issues you describe and doesn’t extrapolate that these are caused by an ism. She can let the school work that one out for themselves at this stage. They will! Or at least, they should. If the problem persists, then raising racism as a potential reason for ongoing mistreatment becomes more powerful.

BTW I wouldn't mention the teacher confusing the names - that will be seen as normal and an unfortunate mix up. As others have said, your niece could bring her own complaint, with your help in the background.

Fake tan thing is awful and you should raise it. Sorry - it should be raised by your niece or sister.

The name mix up could just be one of those things. I'd actually say it was worse if she was mixing up the names of 2 mixed race girls - the fact they are so different suggests she's just bad at names.

I have a mental block about the names of 2 people at work - one is a goth, dark hair and piercings, and the other is blonde and wears floral dresses but in my mind their names are the other way around.

Speaking as a retired teacher, I did sometimes have brain farts when it came to names. I had two girls who were pals with completely different names, but kept mixing them round even though I knew which girl was which - they both looked completely different: one was a brunette, one had auburn hair.

(It was one of those "Get the name right whatever you do!" situations - and I'd blurt out the wrong name.)

The comment about skin tone is atrocious. I recall a teacher telling a girl with olive skin to "And you need to wash your face!" when I was at school in 1972. I still cringe thinking about it.

If I were your niece's mum, I would definitely write to the school about the skin tone comment and would probably add that I was perplexed that one of her teachers keeps calling her "Jenny" when her name is Sarah.

You might want to double check on the year. Which makes it even worse

OP, you are absolutely right to complain and the teacher, at the very least, needs some unconscious bias training

You should support your niece to do this 👆

Thanks for pointing out the correct year! I spent most of December thinking we were already in 2026 and now we've hit February I seem to have gone backwards.

OP: Your sister or niece could complain and suggest that staff could benefit from some diversity training. But frankly I don't know if diversity training covers such basics as "some people have brown skin and it isn't fake tan".

Is your sister the white parent? If so she may not realise how deeply entrenched this can be and how it absolutely MUST be called out every single time. Will dad perhaps say anything?

A racist?

It’s 2026

I do agree though, this is intentional

Is your sister white? If so, she may not have any idea how utterly exhausting this is going to be for her daughter throughout her whole life and what is like to be on the recieving end of this.

This must be raised with the school and your niece must learn this kind of racism is not something she just has to put up with.

It's particularly concerning that your niece wants to raise it, but her mum is not supporting her. She won't forget this.

This.

Or is she of the school of thought that says I've seen much worse, your niece simply needs to toughen up?

I'm not sure I'd be raising a formal complain about one "fake tan" incident but repeated similar stuff like hair etc then yes. Realistically what sane person issues a detention for something like this on purpose, because you'd look like such a horses arse [which she does].

Being a cow to your niece a lot, isn't necessarily anything to do with race either. She might just be a bit of a brat. Along with Jenny.

Your sister knows her daughter and knows the school better than you. By all means be a sounding board for your niece but try to be objective.

I'd definitely raise a complaint with the school. That's blatant racism.

You've flagged the issue to your sister andnmore importantly her daughter is upset by it; but she's brushing it off?
That's some inadequate parental support there.

What's the dad doing?

I think if your niece thinks it’s an issue worth complaining about (and I absolutely agree that it is) then your sister should support her. Is your sister white?
The fake tan comment is awful. The teacher shoukd have apologised sincerely for that. If they haven’t, then they need training.

Does your sister/niece get a bursary to attend the school? I'm wondering if she knows deep down that it's wrong but doesn't want to rock the boat to avoid losing the funding?

I'm not saying it's right, I would also be very upset about it and call them out but I'm trying to understand why your sister is reacting this way.

I used to mix up 2 students all the time they were both tall blonde lads, as an aside I’m mixed race. It does happen.