Blatant racism from school - parent won’t do anything

[Wishthingswerenouting]

My niece who is mixed race is at a predominantly white school. She is 1 of 2 kids who aren’t white. Let’s call my niece Sarah. Let’s say the other kid is called Jenny.

there’s this one teacher who tried to give my niece detention for “wearing fake tan” told her her legs are orange and said that she’s breaching uniform policy. My niece explained that it’s just her skin tone and in the end managed to avoid the detention. She has also been a bit of an arse to my niece separate to this.

this same teacher calls my niece Jenny, and Jenny Sarah. They look absolutely nothing alike. Not even similar skin tone aside from anything else.

my sister says I’m being dramatic in saying that it’s outrageous and she should complain. My niece agrees with me but her mum won’t raise it. Aibu to think this is very blatant - at best ignorance - and should be logged?

You are not being unreasonable but ultimately it is your sister's call

Sorry, i misunderstood. Yes mixing up the names of the only two mixed race kids is bad.

Unfortunately I think you can't take any action with school, it would be a massive overstep. You can support your niece though, such as giving her a space to discuss how she feels and how she wants to deal with it, and perhaps challenge her parents about their approach. You can advocate for her in other ways too.

Both incidents are unacceptable. For those saying mixing up names/children is not a problem you need to take into account that this is a racist trope unconcious, lazy, careless or not and reinforces the idea that all black or asian "look the same" which is dehumanising, and that this teacher is seeing colour before she sees them as people or indviduals. There are only two girls who are mixed race in the school - you make damn sure you know which is which. This may happen with two blonde boys, but it happens disproportionately often with people of colour and it is disingenuous to try and deny that.

I am so sorry this happened to her, being mixed has it's own very specific complexeties about how you feel about where you do and don't fit, who and what you are.

May I ask how old this teacher is ?

My mum is a person of colour and I moved to a very small school in year 5 of primary school (I'm now mid 30's)

My teacher was awful to me, The humiliation she put me through.

This is absolutely vile, especially the "fake tan" part! People are so quick to downplay this sort of thing - for some odd reason, teachers are seen as being "above" racism, as though the qualification process magically filters out racist views. Unfortunately, I don't think you can realistically go over your sister's head and complain. You'll just have to support your niece.

I would definitely raise the fake tan accusation. The teacher sounds dreadful.

I am not so sure about the name mix up - my son looks slightly East Asian, and was friends with a boy from the Philippines. One teacher constantly got their names mixed up. I have no idea why, but I am not sure whether making a complaint would have helped. If a teacher is too lazy to remember a kid's name then highlighting it will go over their heads

I used to get mixed up at school with someone who looked like me, very vaguely. It wasn’t racism.

the getting names mixed dup thing.....meh

the fake tan thing is outrageous

I think it’s dishonest to pretend that we are equally good at recognising the differences between people in all ethnic groups. It doesn’t mean you have a negative belief about that group. It could just mean you’ve had less exposure to them. It’s natural in humans to use mental shortcuts to identify people, like red hair, dark skin, height whatever. My son is half Chinese and in his last class was constantly mixed up with a same-height Caucasian boy with black hair. I don’t think it’s helpful to condemn people who make honest mistakes and I honestly think drawing too much attention to this minor stuff actually creates a bullying, snitching culture that’s really harmful.

My DD went to a very mixed school. She’s white with blond hair. One of her teachers always used to get her mixed up with another white, blond haired girl. It happens, stop looking for an opportunity to be offended.

That's awful. I don't see why the mum doesn't have an issue with it?

I think you should speak to niece again and with her consent, pretty much urge the mum to say something. And that niece deserves to be supported against racism.

Oh you’re one of those. Wilful ignorance or just a bit dumb?

The thing is OP, you would never be able to prove the getting mixed up thing is racism, because say this teacher does it to loads of kids. (I'm not saying it's NOT her being racist, but I don't think proving that would be easy or at all possible) I don't know if you'd have a case there. Focus on the fake tan thing, and yes I would complain, it's really bad

If your sister and BIL won’t do anything, there isn’t much you can do.

Your sister should understand what it’s like to be mixed race and sadly that racism does happen.
She is setting an example that things like this are okay and your niece should just take it on the chin.

If your niece later decides to make a complaint let her know you are happy to help.

I would have also hit the roof about the fake tan comment, it’s totally unacceptable.

The name mix up, sure it might be a mistake, but it’s telling she mixes your niece up with the only other mixed race girl in the school.

I think the best thing you could do is try to show your sister how wrong she is. But it’s hard when someone won’t listen. And at the same time, educate your niece to make sure she is clear about why this is not okay and what she can do if it happens again, as well as what adults can do in similar situations.

It’s crap, though. I’m sorry.

Not ridiculous. Racist. As is 'mixing' the girls up. Complain.

You know you’ve lost the moral high ground, when you resort to insults.

OP, you’re on the AIBU board, you asked for feedback, I gave you my experience, but apparently, I’m a bit dumb - or maybe, you’re referring to my blond haired daughter as being a bit dumb, for not being offended?

two things

1. Deny or excuse it all you like, but mixing up racialised people is a thing and has a different impact, because of structural racism. There is plenty of (nuanced) research, (rather than anecdote) on it, but here is a nice article that makes some good points: https://www.killyourdarlings.com.au/article/yes-your-honest-mix-up-is-racially-biased/ .
2. I am not sure how people expect someone who is not a parent or even in loco parentis, can make a complaint that the school would actually take seriously or address. I also think it might be very damaging to family relationships and pretty embarassing for all involved. While I think the OP is 100% right to be concerned about these incidents, can you imagine your sibling ringing up your child's school and getting involved with an issue with a teacher? I would be appalled and mortified, however well meant or justified it might be.

Where is this happening?

Can you tell us how your niece 'managed to avoid the detention'?

Was it a case of immediately telling the teacher that it was simply her skin tone [hopefully teacher apologised profusely; punishment withdrawn]?

Or did she bring it up with someone else?

Because if it was brought to the attention of the Head, for instance, I'd be angry if the teacher hasn't already been carpeted.

This absolutely. And it’s the same teacher who threatened detention because she mistook mixed race skin tone for fake tan. I think there’s very clearly an issue with the teacher lumping different races into one homogenous group, which is appalling for all the reasons you stated here, and more.

No it isn't 😂

That article is 90% anecdote and opinion. The two studies cited are irrelevant to the subject the article is discussing (is mixing up two people of the same ethnicity inevitably racist?) It basically says ‘it’s racist because it’s racist’, which is also essentially what you have said in your post.

The name thing might just be a teacher rubbish at names

but the fake tan comment - I would not consider that a micro aggression- that’s more blantant racism.

I think the OP’s response was to you saying “stop looking for an opportunity to be offended’ , I doubt she want’s to be offended.

You also didn’t comment about the fake tan incident, do you think that was also the posters niece looking to be offended?