Can I refuse this school meeting?

[loellajames]

My son had one day off school in November as he had a temp on the fri and sat and the school wouldn't allow him back until 48 hrs had passed. They sent him home the Friday. I called them on the Mon morning and asked if it was 24 or 48 hrs and they told me I must keep him off. He had a full week off in December as he had flu (tested for and have shown them medical records as his temp was over 40 at one point - he was really unwell). He has vomited tonight and therefore won't be in school for two days. He's a very fit and healthy child, no safeguarding concerns, attendance between 98 and 100% until now. He just happens to have caught a few things in quick succession. After the first two absences the school sent me a letter stating they would be monitoring his absence over the next two weeks and if he had any more I would be called in for a face to face meeting in school hours, this letter was only sent to me last week, nearly two months after the last absence (first week of December). I have a job and feel this is a total waste of time. I'm literally going to sit there and say 'he had a temperature or was vomiting so I followed your policies'. Has anyone ever ignored anything like this before? Been called in for a 'chat'? What will the consequences be of me saying no?

I have refused to go and requested a telephone conversation instead. It depends on the school, I suppose.

I had a letter on Friday! Well email pdf letter. She has been in school all term, no issues. Her absences last term amounted to 11 days which is an alarming amount I admit but like you some of it was 48 hour rule stuff.
They didn't say they wanted a meeting now but did say if she had any more absence they would have me in to set up a student support plan or some such utter bollocks.
It did get my back up but then I thought, whatever. She probably will have further absence. If they call me, I don't work full time so i dont mind popping in on my day off. I imagine I'll just say 'yes, she had flu' and stare at them until they fill the silence.

It must be a trigger point for attendance if they're suddenly firing these letters out to unsuspecting parents. Is it half way through the school year or something? I can't be bothered to work it out.

The school have to send these letters when you get to a certain %. It's all because for some reason Ofsted have decided that a school's attendance level is somehow down to the quality of teaching and environment they create. Apparently, if absence levels are high, of course it is because children don't feel like they 'belong' and if the school were doing a better job then attendance would be higher! (Nothing to do with illness, taking much cheaper term time holidays, parental decisions etc apparently.)

Just ask if you can do a quick phone call and Im sure it will all be fine.

I'd tell them to call me - i wouldn't take time off work to go into school just because they click their fingers. Total waste of my time.

No wonder home schooling rates are rising.

These sorts of attendance authoritarians aren’t doing it for child safeguarding, let’s be honest - it’s for Ofsteds graphs and line go up.

Id ask for a phone call and say you’re not coming in. Your child was sick during a month where flu is rife for gods sake.

I’m getting sick to death of schools second guessing decent parents who know when their children are too sick to attend. It must be turning people off the school system.

Most of those working in schools hate this too, Ofsted are more on the wrong lines than ever.

I suppose you could say you can’t attend because you’ll get into trouble if you miss work - after all, have you been off work when DC was ill to look after DS?

I had a letter in year 9 to say I had to provide all appointment letters for any absences and I told the school its them who are phoning me to send her home so the next time I said can she see how she is in 30 mins given they are monitoring her attendance. They called back to say she was in tears so of course I collected her. Her attendance dropped under 80%. I felt awful but she has had an ongoing issue since age 12. It didn’t affect her GCSE results as she got the highest grades in the year group.

I’d tell them you appreciate their concern but nothing you can do and you are following their policies. Tell them to phone you if they want to speak to you.

I had a shitty letter like this when my child had quite a bit of time off due to breaking a bone AT SCHOOL. They ended up having to have a minor surgery and I got a letter from the school about unacceptable absences (still over 95% attendance). I got a bit cross as only reception and it happened under their watch so I thought they should maybe chill out a bit. Anyway I spoke to the head about it and she said it's an automated thing from their attendance system, she has nothing to do with it and can't stop them. If it generated a letter saying we needed to have a meeting, she would count saying hi to me or my partner at pick up as said meeting and log it as complete.
Yanbu to be annoyed but just have a chat with them when you next go in.

I think requesting a phone call instead would be better for future school relations than refusing to attend.

Don't ignore, but email saying all you have said above, you fail to see what a ftf meeting will achieve that this correspondence hasn't, and that any ftf meeting needs to be out of working hours, or at the very least very early or late, so that your working day is not compromised.

I’d respond to the letter, reiterating the reasons for absence and giving your availability for a telephone discussion. It’s probably automated, don’t worry about it.

A child with good attendance, suddenly having 3 absences, would raise concern. The school just want to make sure nothing else is going in (Anxiery, EBSA, behaviour at home etc). You should be able to do it by phone though

The first time they sent him home because he was unwell at school. The second time I showed them his medical notes. This time I have no evidence but I fail to see how this is concerning. What would they be concerned about specifically?

The correspondence is probably automated.
Last year our daughter threw up at school on a Wednesday. H went to collect her and they were very clear that she couldn't go in for the rest of the week.

Both of us got an emailed letter next morning asking us to confirm the reason for her unexplained absence and a load of flannel about attendance being important blah blah. I was totally baffled and called to ask if the 48 hour rule was no longer policy (daughter seemed right as rain by then) as I could bring her in if so. (I have another child who is now adult and when he was first at nursery the rule was 12 hours though it later went up to 24 and then to 48.)

I then got a call back from the head saying NO please don't bring her anywhere near the school. She explained that if the system shows attendance not logged and no call from parent logged, the letter is automatically generated for every single day of absence. I pointed out it was a pointless waste of time to call every day for three days telling the school what they already knew and she agreed to manually adjust the log to show notification for each individual day. What a faff.

Yeah it all just seems mad to me. Because he's dipped below 95% and it likely won't go above that again until next term, he gets excluded from their attendance celebrations (where they get prizes for attendance), all because he got sick. To him that feels like a punishment for something totally out of his control and he's already anxious about it. He's asked to go to school this morning because he knows this which is just sad.

The school have to pay due diligence to absences falling below a certain percentage, regardless of cause. We had a letter sent; DS was hospitalised with Ulcerative Colitis!

Please don't worry, especially if your sons track record is pretty much perfect. All the best. It's good to be open and upfront with school.

And yes, it IS unfair, when they miss out on the treats and prizes. I think Ofstead are wrong on putting such importance to attendance, but I suppose it picks up the children who really do need support.

Sounds like the relatively recent changes in workplace HR have reached schools. Before COVID my workplace got a new HR person in who had worked for Sainsburys and were gobsmacked that line managers were going to have to waste time having a meeting after any absence. The recent flu outbreak has been a real pain to reconcile with ultra strict policies. As doctors will tell you, a fortnight off sick is not uncommon.

It’s a standard letter, and as the absences were mainly unavoidable I wouldn’t get too bothered. If they want a meeting you can tell them it would need to a phone call because of work.
I am intrigued that that a child who was ill on a Friday couldn’t go in to school on Monday because of the 48 hour rule. Am I missing something?

Not exactly the same is it??

Full day off because you're child is ill and needs looking after, versus taking what could be a full day off for a 5 minute meeting.

If they have celebrations for attendance, point out to them that that is discriminatory.

Offer them an online meeting if they really want one, but point out that you can't tell them any more than you have done already, and you obviously can't offer any guarantees that your son won't catch something else.

The letter is automatically generated.
Treat it as junk mail, or phone the school if you feel you really can't ignore it.

When I had a call from the attendance people I just started asking them how they were going to help my son catch up with his work and what provision they had for him to learn remotely and be sent the work he'd missed while he was ill .

They finished the call pretty quickly at that point.

It turns out they only care about statistics and not actually children missing education due to illness