Can I refuse this school meeting?

[loellajames]

My son had one day off school in November as he had a temp on the fri and sat and the school wouldn't allow him back until 48 hrs had passed. They sent him home the Friday. I called them on the Mon morning and asked if it was 24 or 48 hrs and they told me I must keep him off. He had a full week off in December as he had flu (tested for and have shown them medical records as his temp was over 40 at one point - he was really unwell). He has vomited tonight and therefore won't be in school for two days. He's a very fit and healthy child, no safeguarding concerns, attendance between 98 and 100% until now. He just happens to have caught a few things in quick succession. After the first two absences the school sent me a letter stating they would be monitoring his absence over the next two weeks and if he had any more I would be called in for a face to face meeting in school hours, this letter was only sent to me last week, nearly two months after the last absence (first week of December). I have a job and feel this is a total waste of time. I'm literally going to sit there and say 'he had a temperature or was vomiting so I followed your policies'. Has anyone ever ignored anything like this before? Been called in for a 'chat'? What will the consequences be of me saying no?

Ask for a call or Zoom meeting instead?
The school won’t want this meeting any more than you do, but they have to be able to show Ofsted that they are monitoring and acting on absences. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Are all these automated letters posted? If they are what a waste of money on stamps, paper, ink.

Attendance celebrations are ridiculous. Nearly all of the children “excluded” from it, ie all those not going, bar a very few will be excluded because they got sick. It’s always been unfair.

Re your OP, I had a letter from the council in similar circumstances- there had never been one from the school in the interim so not a further step - and I just told them all the circumstances of the absences. That was enough.

I would also refuse the meeting - I’d email them reminding them of what you’ve said here, and if not I’d ask for a telephone conversation rather than face to face.

Agreed. There’s this weird idea that somehow children shouldn’t get sick, of course children get sick, especially if they are surrounded by other children. They also aren’t allowed time to recover as there’s such a pressure to send them back in.
There were parents at DDs primary who were chronically late, not because they had issues, because they didn’t care. One mum lived next door to the school and would try and get up at 8.30am, they were late most days with a 1 minute walk. She just wasn’t bothered.

Attendance celebrations are insane. Totally unfair on children who have a chronic illness.

You can't be expected to take a day off work to attend for a chat, what do they think you're just sitting around twiddling your thumbs waiting for them .

You've enough evidence to prove your child was sick they sent him home Fri so they knew he was ill. Sometimes there isn't evidence as they recoup at home.

Some schools are idiots, I remember with one of mine in hospital with pneumonia and they rang me that much and wanted me to stop off at school that I sent a video and pic of my child in hospital !

They make the 48 hour rule so you're following them, if they don't like it will they be happy your child going in spreading it. I'd be saying that.

Agreed. There’s this weird idea that somehow children shouldn’t get sick, of course children get sick, especially if they are surrounded by other children. They also aren’t allowed time to recover as there’s such a pressure to send them back in.

Yes, it does seem to be communicated this way. The flipside of the health discussions we are having is that DD went straight back to 2 tests, which included questions that were covered in the (very short) time she was unwell. I didn't expect full performance at all, and the marks for these were not great, but outliers compared to the term's performance. Guess what, she got penalised for those as well, rather than the rationale of 'this was a bad day or 2', so it's not just attendance rewards that backfire.

Next time, I would have to reconsider sending her back if there are tests - if she's 'punished' for the results without wider context, I would rather she took them when all work is at least done for them, even if that takes a day or 2 of chasing the resources.

I'm expecting one of these soon as my son has just had 4.5 days off (school sent him home on the first day) and he had two days in Sept so attendance is about 92% for this year.

His two days were because of the 48 hour rule for D&V and most recently was the cold/flu which completely wiped him out.

He had 100% last year so he was due some bugs. Hopefully it can be dealt with by phone/email.