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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel our quality of life in the UK gets lower every year?

548 replies

Playingvideogames · 01/02/2026 17:17

Off the back of another thread where I mentioned my childhood homes being bought by my parents for under 300k in the late 90s/early 2000s, and are now all selling for 700k+.

I feel like our quality of life just dwindles every year. Everything becomes more expensive. Housing is low quality, small and extortionate. The weather is awful 70% of the time. Everything feels so overcrowded with fewer green spaces and natural beauty as more housing estates go up. The roads are awful, choked with traffic and potholed. Constant roadworks here yet nothing ever seems to get solved. Customer service is a bit rubbish, nothing really works as intended. More and more rules about what you can and can’t do. People just seem stifled and stressed.

I’m sure people will rush along to say how wonderful the NHS is and similar, but I sometimes feel really envious of people living in places where (although not perfect) they have something reliable to enjoy - great weather, a nice big house, just more space and less overcrowding.

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable but I wonder if you do!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:10

tumbletoast · 01/02/2026 18:16

I quite enjoy living in a country where I don't have to worry about being bombed or summarily executed in the street.

I also enjoy our mild weather. That I don't have to worry about earthquakes or tsunamis or hurricanes or typhoons or tornadoes or -20°C winters and 50°C summers.

I enjoy central heating and reliable electricity and running water.

I enjoy that I can choose freely whether to be single or to marry and that I wasn't forcibly married off and then forcibly impregnated.

I enjoy having the right to vote without fear of violence.

I enjoy having the choice to work and without my options being limited to secretary, teacher or nurse.

I enjoy being protected from sexual harassment in the workplace. I enjoy being protected from second hand smoke in the workplace.

I enjoy that I have a variety of transport options and that I am not limited to a weekly trip to church in a horse drawn trap with no suspension.

I could go on. Nothing is ever perfect but that doesn't mean there aren't positives.

If you only focus on negatives, you will always feel negative. That's a daft way to spend your one life.

Great post

dottiehens · 01/02/2026 21:10

24kPalamino · 01/02/2026 20:37

My quality of life is fantastic… when I’m in America. The space, outdoors lifestyle, natural environment and quality of health service despite the expense, are incredible. The time that I spend in America I feel healthy, active, motivated and happy.

The time I spend in the UK is miserable. It is an utterly shit country, with absolutely nothing going for it. I spend every minute I’m here waiting to go back. When I’m in the UK, I feel unhealthy, demotivated, depressed and I have a cloud of permanent brain fog hanging over me.

Same 💯

Flamingojune · 01/02/2026 21:10

Playingvideogames · 01/02/2026 17:49

You don’t need to be to comment on this thread. It’s a casual chat.

Ah - just a casual chat declaring humanity is over...

Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:10

dottiehens · 01/02/2026 21:10

Same 💯

You mean you also live partly in US? If so, which state?

24kPalamino · 01/02/2026 21:11

FellowSuffereroftheAbsurd · 01/02/2026 21:08

I don't think it's unreasonable to feel that way, even if that's not my experience. A lot of people are going through a hard time, and frankly, it's very British to complain about Britain.

Oh, and I live in the East Midlands in a home bought for about £120k about 5 years ago, a home that is already adapted for disability due to the previous owner which was a big reason for the choice - getting that in a rental when our previous landlord refused to fix boiler for years wasn't going to happen.

But I don’t have special educational needs. With the greatest respect, these sorts of ‘positives’ aren’t the kinds of positives I’m referring to. I mean general yardsticks of quality of life that apply to most people.

You entirely missed the poster's discussion around improving public infrastructure (new playground), people volunteering and improving survival rates.

Literally anyone can become disabled. The only thing between you and a disability, is luck and time, and issues being identified earlier vastly improves quality of life - that does ripple out to most people in society, most people will know someone who directly benefits at some point. Many mothers on here are only alive, only have children alive, because of that.

I’ve had weather warnings, flooding and high winds for 2 weeks solid.

Most weather warnings are from weather events that hit other areas far worse.

I grew up where tornado seasons lasts for month and winter typically involves snow stacked above my height and weather induced power outages are still the norm. British weather may not suit postcards, but I enjoy it where I am most of the time.

Good grief, unless I love the UK and think it’s fabulous then I’m a miserable person?

You don't have to love it - but if someone lists what they enjoy, and you call them all 'absence of negatives, not the presence of a positive," then yeah, it comes across as deep in misery - like you simply can't see the joy in something someone else does.

But we’re not comparing our quality of life now to 60 years ago, we are comparing it to ‘comparable’ countries.

Are we? The title is discussing how the quality of life is decreasing over time n the UK - not in the UK compared to other countries. There is nothing in the original post about other countries either.

And coming from one of those apparently wonderful countries according to others on this thread, I'm much happier in the UK.

I’m surprised people thought Brexit would help control illegal immigration.

Or immigration at all. Non-EU migration has always been significantly higher than EU migration. It's also been a money maker for so many, includes those in government bringing in 'private partners' to deal with migration paperwork for a fee that started with non-EU migrants.

But Remain politicians refused to discuss any potential changes UK could do while in it or really engage with people for what they thought was an easy win for the status quo - and were very, very wrong in ways that impact them very little compared to everyone else.

Just like I’ve never seen knife crime in the UK, I’ve never seen gun crime in the states.

The US has higher knife-related homicides and comparable crimes per capita as well compared to the UK as well. The only stats that put the UK higher are ones where there is no comparable crime are included, particularly around arrests/convictions for possession of certain types of bladed articles that have no laws against them in the US.

Statistics are numbers written down on paper. I have experience to draw upon instead.

EllaView · 01/02/2026 21:11

This poem by Tony Walsh reminds me of my childhood. When I feel disheartened, it reminds me of how far we’ve come. That’s not to say everything’s rosy in the garden, but we are a resilient species and we will get through this!

Posh Things

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https://m.soundcloud.com/tony-walsh/posh-things

Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:13

FellowSuffereroftheAbsurd · 01/02/2026 21:08

I don't think it's unreasonable to feel that way, even if that's not my experience. A lot of people are going through a hard time, and frankly, it's very British to complain about Britain.

Oh, and I live in the East Midlands in a home bought for about £120k about 5 years ago, a home that is already adapted for disability due to the previous owner which was a big reason for the choice - getting that in a rental when our previous landlord refused to fix boiler for years wasn't going to happen.

But I don’t have special educational needs. With the greatest respect, these sorts of ‘positives’ aren’t the kinds of positives I’m referring to. I mean general yardsticks of quality of life that apply to most people.

You entirely missed the poster's discussion around improving public infrastructure (new playground), people volunteering and improving survival rates.

Literally anyone can become disabled. The only thing between you and a disability, is luck and time, and issues being identified earlier vastly improves quality of life - that does ripple out to most people in society, most people will know someone who directly benefits at some point. Many mothers on here are only alive, only have children alive, because of that.

I’ve had weather warnings, flooding and high winds for 2 weeks solid.

Most weather warnings are from weather events that hit other areas far worse.

I grew up where tornado seasons lasts for month and winter typically involves snow stacked above my height and weather induced power outages are still the norm. British weather may not suit postcards, but I enjoy it where I am most of the time.

Good grief, unless I love the UK and think it’s fabulous then I’m a miserable person?

You don't have to love it - but if someone lists what they enjoy, and you call them all 'absence of negatives, not the presence of a positive," then yeah, it comes across as deep in misery - like you simply can't see the joy in something someone else does.

But we’re not comparing our quality of life now to 60 years ago, we are comparing it to ‘comparable’ countries.

Are we? The title is discussing how the quality of life is decreasing over time n the UK - not in the UK compared to other countries. There is nothing in the original post about other countries either.

And coming from one of those apparently wonderful countries according to others on this thread, I'm much happier in the UK.

I’m surprised people thought Brexit would help control illegal immigration.

Or immigration at all. Non-EU migration has always been significantly higher than EU migration. It's also been a money maker for so many, includes those in government bringing in 'private partners' to deal with migration paperwork for a fee that started with non-EU migrants.

But Remain politicians refused to discuss any potential changes UK could do while in it or really engage with people for what they thought was an easy win for the status quo - and were very, very wrong in ways that impact them very little compared to everyone else.

Just like I’ve never seen knife crime in the UK, I’ve never seen gun crime in the states.

The US has higher knife-related homicides and comparable crimes per capita as well compared to the UK as well. The only stats that put the UK higher are ones where there is no comparable crime are included, particularly around arrests/convictions for possession of certain types of bladed articles that have no laws against them in the US.

Agree with all this. On the crime point, the UK I think I read scores higher on violent crime than other European countries, but the US scores higher than UK.

Can I ask which country you came from before?

Jideom · 01/02/2026 21:15

24kPalamino · 01/02/2026 21:11

Statistics are numbers written down on paper. I have experience to draw upon instead.

Edited

Do you go out late at night?

I know this sounds stupid but I met someone who studied there and said "people don't go out alone in big cities without their friends because it's too crime ridden".

Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:15

24kPalamino · 01/02/2026 21:11

Statistics are numbers written down on paper. I have experience to draw upon instead.

Edited

Re stats, are you saying you think US gun crime is lower than statistically recorded?

daisychain01 · 01/02/2026 21:17

Playingvideogames · 01/02/2026 17:57

Ours is never perfect, or very rarely!

Well, don't live on an island with a maritime climate then!

24kPalamino · 01/02/2026 21:17

Jideom · 01/02/2026 21:15

Do you go out late at night?

I know this sounds stupid but I met someone who studied there and said "people don't go out alone in big cities without their friends because it's too crime ridden".

I’m normally home and tucked up in bed by 10.30pm. Would I wander the streets at night, no, absolutely not. But I wouldn’t do that here either.

Jideom · 01/02/2026 21:18

Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:15

Re stats, are you saying you think US gun crime is lower than statistically recorded?

A lot of it (not all) is gang related and sometimes they include accidental discharges and suicides as well.

Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:19

Playingvideogames · 01/02/2026 17:57

Ours is never perfect, or very rarely!

Most countries don't have perfect weather.
I think on another thread I was on you mentioned that you were a Catholic? From what I've seen, Catholicism has plenty to say about appreciating and being thankful for the good things that are there : nature for one. The UK is rich in wildlife...

Gowlett · 01/02/2026 21:20

I think that smartphones, the Internet & social media have changed the quality of life for the worse. AI is the next level…

Playingvideogames · 01/02/2026 21:20

24kPalamino · 01/02/2026 21:00

Just like I’ve never seen knife crime in the UK, I’ve never seen gun crime in the states. I’m not denying the issue. But fortunately it hasn’t impacted my life.

All three of those states are sunny and hot. There is a lot to do outdoors. I go back at the end of the week, thank goodness.

Edited

I love the States. I’m not denying it has its problems, but I love the potential. There’s more of a sense that if you work hard, that work will pay off - you’ll be able to afford a lovely house in a nice area, and a good standard of living. There’s a spectrum of climates to choose from, you’re not stuck with 10 degrees and horizontal rain for 70% of the year. Everything feels spacious, convenient and open. I really like the positive mindset, the stunning scenery and the way in which people aren’t sneering toward those who have basic values.

OP posts:
Playingvideogames · 01/02/2026 21:21

Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:19

Most countries don't have perfect weather.
I think on another thread I was on you mentioned that you were a Catholic? From what I've seen, Catholicism has plenty to say about appreciating and being thankful for the good things that are there : nature for one. The UK is rich in wildlife...

Edited

That’s quite a reach - that Catholics should never complain!

Our wildlife is evaporating thanks to overpopulation and overdevelopment.

OP posts:
Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:21

Jideom · 01/02/2026 21:18

A lot of it (not all) is gang related and sometimes they include accidental discharges and suicides as well.

That's true. A lot of UK knife crime is gang related too.

The US stats do seem to be higher though,

SeekingAlpha · 01/02/2026 21:21

The PM is fixing the foundations, and the Chancellor is addressing the black hole - this takes time, so please be patient!

Jideom · 01/02/2026 21:23

24kPalamino · 01/02/2026 21:17

I’m normally home and tucked up in bed by 10.30pm. Would I wander the streets at night, no, absolutely not. But I wouldn’t do that here either.

Do your DC (if you have any) go out late with friends?

Just trying to guage what it's like.

24kPalamino · 01/02/2026 21:23

Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:15

Re stats, are you saying you think US gun crime is lower than statistically recorded?

No, I think gun crime is a major problem and I’d love to see a constitutional amendment. What I am saying is that fortunately I have not been a victim of crime in America. Now I realise that sentence could have a big fat ‘yet’ at the end of it, but then there are no guarantees I won’t be a victim of crime in the UK. I do what I can to minimise my risks in both countries and I hope that’s good enough. Obviously people can be very, very unlucky and in the wrong place at the wrong time wherever you are. My lived experience, however, is that the majority of Americans are good people and not firing off guns left right and centre, so it isn’t something I give much thought to when comparing the lifestyles.

Flamingojune · 01/02/2026 21:23

24kPalamino · 01/02/2026 21:17

I’m normally home and tucked up in bed by 10.30pm. Would I wander the streets at night, no, absolutely not. But I wouldn’t do that here either.

I would be happy to

Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:24

Playingvideogames · 01/02/2026 21:21

That’s quite a reach - that Catholics should never complain!

Our wildlife is evaporating thanks to overpopulation and overdevelopment.

Edited

I didn't say you shouldn't complain, but you do seem to be a bit unfairly harsh on the UK- most countries have weather cons as well as pros, aging populations, standard of living etc are affecting many other countries.

Flamingojune · 01/02/2026 21:25

Playingvideogames · 01/02/2026 21:21

That’s quite a reach - that Catholics should never complain!

Our wildlife is evaporating thanks to overpopulation and overdevelopment.

Edited

Its coming back in some urban areas

Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:25

Playingvideogames · 01/02/2026 21:21

That’s quite a reach - that Catholics should never complain!

Our wildlife is evaporating thanks to overpopulation and overdevelopment.

Edited

I agree re development affecting wildlife, this must stop.

Carla786 · 01/02/2026 21:27

Playingvideogames · 01/02/2026 21:20

I love the States. I’m not denying it has its problems, but I love the potential. There’s more of a sense that if you work hard, that work will pay off - you’ll be able to afford a lovely house in a nice area, and a good standard of living. There’s a spectrum of climates to choose from, you’re not stuck with 10 degrees and horizontal rain for 70% of the year. Everything feels spacious, convenient and open. I really like the positive mindset, the stunning scenery and the way in which people aren’t sneering toward those who have basic values.

Re 'sneering at those who have basic values' - could you elaborate a bit on this? I'm not sure this is necessarily more common in the UK than the US.

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