Too late because I’ve done it. You’ll all tell me I’m a terrible mum! Bridgerton.

[BridgertonBadMum]

Anyone else let their young teens watch Bridgerton with them?

Mine is 13, I’d be kidding myself to pretend she doesn’t know about sex.

She begged me to let her watch the new series as she saw the trailer and it looked so Cinderella-like and she adores history and the costumes. I originally said no as it’s too sexual.

However she works so hard, and we found out this week that she’d won an amazing award through school, and I just thought she’s old enough to work as hard as she does (highly pressured academic school in which she’s thriving - as well as highly achieving in her sport at a national level), more mature than many adults I know, so surely watching it with me there to ensure she knows what’s normal life and what isn’t. How is it any worse than her watching Stranger Things. After all it’s very likely one day she’ll fall in love and have sex - and yet I worry more about her seeing that than seeing violence.

So we’ve both been totally entranced together watching the new episodes. I laugh when she cringes and covers her face during the steamy parts or when I say “he’s got a nice bum”. To have had a couple of hours together last night smiling and keeping everything crossed for a happy ending. It’s been lovely. (Not watched all 4 yet so no spoilers)

I’m awaiting a ton of “you’re a terrible mum” replies. But hoping to be surprised by a couple of people who are in agreement.

Yes me too! When she begged me I did warn her it would be awkward because at her age I was convinced everyone was watching my reaction if something saucy was on TV. 🤣

She so loves the aesthetic and fairytale that’s she’s willing to put up with the cringe. (& I think is also curious about it all, of course.)

If you were both happy enough to watch it together, then no big deal,
As someone pointed out, at thirteen I'd have sooner walked on hot coals than watch a sex scene with my mum. In fact, at a good bit older than that my friend and I took our mums to see Ryan's Daughter, not knowing about the sex scene in the woods. If we could have crawled under the seats with embarrassment we would have!

Not a terrible mum at all - bit cringy, though. Brigerton is not history and is not in the least bit historically accurate (well, the clothes and carriages may be but not the people). This is likely to do more damage than the steamy bits.
Try something accurate, instead?
I think also, to enjoy something like Brigerton you have to know it's not real, which a 13 year old won't.
Why does she think it's like a fairy tale?

I would ring social services if I heard a child had been forced to watched a sex scene. So I don’t blame them.

Again - she asked. Repeatedly.

I remember watching Catherine Cookson and Sharpe with my parents around this age which had some sexy bits and it was fine, especially as you are watching it together I think it's fine.

This. How can anyone be happy to watch sex scenes with either their parent or their child - at any age? Shudder.

Ive watched quite a few films with 'light' sexy scenes in with my son age 12. Not in purpose but sometimes they pop up unexpectantly. Forest gump for one, I hadnt watched it for so long I forgot about the more risque scenes!! I just tell him not to look.

Yes. And if he does Duke of Edinburgh you should get him a voucher to a strip club.

But honestly, OP, I’m failing to see the significance or potential drama, really. As you said, she knows what sex is. It’s a bit cringe to sit and watch it with your mum but that’s about it.

Oh, it’s hard to say. Some of the sex scenes are so cringey and unnecessary - like why does Benedict feel it’s appropriate to stick 2 fingers…. 🤐 (sorry, I know you said no spoilers).
I think the bigger risk wirh these kind of movies is that they present romance in such an unrealistic way - men in shinning armour falling inlove and burning wirh desire after catching 2 glances at some random woman, the happy ending where the couples are so perfectly aligned and so ridiculously happy all the time… I grew up waiting to grow old enough to meet a man like this and ohhh, the disappointment when I realised (at some point in my 30s) that they don’t exist! I also remember being allowed to watch movies with sex scenes with my parents and feeling so incredibly embarrassed that even now, when there are sex scenes in movies, I feel uncomfortable even if I watch them on my own. (Porn is absolutely fine though 😀).

So if I did let my 13 years old daughter watch, i would skip past the sex scenes, and make it clear to her that the romance she sees in the movies is extremely rare to find in the real world.

I once had to sit through 50 Shades of Grey with my mum. That’s all I have to say on the matter 😣

Stranger Things
Only Murders In The Building

i’m sure there are more

I’d watched dirty dancing about 100 times by her age, kids know about sex, it’s not like Colin and Penelope going at it in a carriage is going to teach her anything other than couples have sex in places other than a bed.

That said, I’m not sure why her school performance is relevant??

To be fair Bridgerton probably isn't the worst program for displaying ridiculous just happens sex/no consent/talking. Im sure I remember benedicts last thruple storyline they did actually speak about consent/wants and feelings?

Still it doesn't show any gritty awkward parts of sex. (I dont think the show is going for that obviously its clearly all very faiytale period drama without being a historical period drama)
No vibrators it's all penis in and moaning in pleasure no ouch not there to the left up a bit oh no wait or actually I'm on my period l, no one discusses contraception, sti's etc

I'd have to refresh my knowledge of it to talk in real depth about it. I imagine no one is turning to Bridgerton for sex education for their teens though 😂

It's a great platform for discussing misogyny. Would of been refreshing if Colin just realised he loved penelope without feeling entitled to have a turn about town with sex workers etc

I can't see the isssue, at 13 I devoured Jean Plaidy and Victoria Holt. It was not to glean historical facts. I also watched A Bouquet of Barbed Wire with my mum. To a pp, I knew what a condom was aged 8 because I asked and my mum told me the truth. My mum always said "the nice girls get pregnant through innocence; the smart girls avoid it or have the confidence to say no.

When dd was 17, she had unprotected sex at a party. First time and she was drunk but it was consensual. Fortunately, she had no shame to hide on telling me and we went to Boots for the morning after pill.

Knowing about sex between consenting adults and understanding its importance and the significance of consent and mutual pleasure and the risks of unwanted infectuons and pregnancy is vital and it's a parwnts duty to ensire dc have healthy attitudes and know the facts and risks and dangers, that they can ask anything and that know they will always be loved and supported. That approach yields healthy body awareness and healthy swx lives in functional, loving relationships.

The girls I knew growing up who were banned x, y and z, were all doing more than snogging at 15.

Makes mental note to watch Bridgerton.

Hilarious 🤣

Not a big issue to me - it's very raunchy, but it's not porn and if anything it's very 'female gaze'-led (from what I saw anyway, I quite enjoyed 1st series but couldn't be bothered with subsequent), it's not 'L-shaped bedcovers' where the woman is totally uncovered but the man is covered up. Probably a fairly good introduction to relatively graphic sex scenes as these things go.

😂🤣😂

Bizarre post. Clearly questioning yourself. You have made the decision so have the courage of your own convictions.

However she works so hard, and we found out this week that she’d won an amazing award through school, and I just thought she’s old enough to work as hard as she does (highly pressured academic school in which she’s thriving - as well as highly achieving in her sport at a national level)

Spin this however you want but no 13yo ‘works so hard’. I’ve had high achieving academics and national rep sports kids, but honestly, 13yo and ‘works so hard’, yeah, no.

DP always gets an inexplicable urge for a cup of tea whenever The Terminator is on TV, just before Sarah Connor and Kyle Rees conceive the Future Leader of The Resistance.

Turns out that his Mum used to ask him to put the kettle on just before that scene started every time it was on.

😂

I dont care what you let tour daughter watch but to comment to own daughter at the age of 13 someone has a nice bum? Wtf

oh to be a cool mum, I can only dream

Plus, what sort of young person wants to watch those sex scenes with their mum?

I have adult children, and still wouldn’t contemplate watching Rocky Horror Picture Show, or Pulp Fiction with them (uncomfortable cringe)🤣.

Ha ha. That's reminded me of dd downloading it onto her kindle, aged 12. She told me that I'd hate something she'd done but love her opinion of it. She'd downloaded 50 shades, but only read the first few pages because it was so badly written. She enjoyed Atonement aged 11/12 though.

Her appreciation of literature endures - she's now an English teacher. She had to do pornography in pshe with her Y11s last week!

YABU to allow your parenting boundaries about sexual content (which you set, according to your own ethics and age-related judgement) to be broken because your daughter ran fast and passed a test.