To be confused as to why hiring a cleaner is seen as an indulgence?

[Gahr]

This is something that I see time and again on this site, and it is SO WEIRD. People seem to think that it is the height of luxury to have a housecleaner, and also seem to be strangely apologetic about it, offering disclaimers as to why they need one. Also, I've noticed that on threads when someone has a problem with their cleaning service, they will get several posts telling them to 'clean their own house'. Nobody would tell someone to 'service their own boiler' or 'fix their own toilet'! I don't understand it at all. I have a cleaner and I wouldn't be without her.

Because it is boring and time consuming and I can afford to have someone else do it for me. HTH. Do you say the same sort of thing to people who use meal planning services?

I agree and I said totally get two full time workers having a cleaner - if I had to work full time, would probably also need one to free up some weekend time. Luckily, I dont.

I don’t get someone having a cleaner who can actually do it. I think it’s lazy getting someone to clean up your mess if you can physically do it. But then I make the bed in hotel rooms, never leave them messy and always picked up anything off the floor after taking young children out to eat. Leaving mess for someone else to clean (if you can do it) doesn’t feel right to me.

I wouldn't dream of making the bed in a hotel room. I agree about cleaning up after kids in restaurants, though. That isn't the waiter's job.

Probably would if someone came on and said they don’t see why paying for a meal planning service is possibly seen as a luxury by anyone.

The problem is that he doesn’t do anything, and if there was no cleaner the pp would have to do it. As I said, each to their own but I’d find it unappealing to live with a person who behaved like that.

It’s misogyny.

as a woman you are expected to clean your own house.

anything else is a luxury that demonstrates that you are a slovenly madam

But there is a cleaner, because he is a higher earner! Some of these responses remind me of the old saying 'If my grandma had bollocks she'd be my grandad' (although you're probably not allowed to say that nowadays, as it would be deemed 'transphobic')

And honestly doing those things are all still necessary when you have a cleaner. Presumably the man doesn’t leave his dirty plates and cups and laundry just where he drops it, ready for the cleaner to come in a few days later?

I’m glad neither me nor my DP were raised to think being a high earner was a licence for being lazy.

So you think cleaner should basically earn same as OP so she can afford luxuries too? We don’t live in a communist society. It’s just capitalism isn’t it ?

Even under communism, people had different standards of living. In the DDR, Party members lived the high life while ordinary people lived lives of mundane drudgery.

What the fuck does transphobia have to do with anything?

Yes. There’s a cleaner, but PP says he doesn’t do anything on his downtime. So presumably someone else puts the dinner on the table and then washes it up, puts the laundry away, tidies the kids toys and makes sure they have clean clothes. You seem awfully impressed by him being a high earner, so maybe you’d be happy to wait on a man like that. In my house we’re both high earners but we don’t act like basic hygiene is beneath us. Being a high earner doesn’t opt you out of being a caring and decent partner or parent.

There's a difference between rinsing a cup and mopping floors and deep cleaning. I presume it's the latter that PPs husband doesn't wish to spend his limited free time doing. Going by the responses on this thread, I am staying to see this less as an issue of misogyny and more of puritanism!

Yes communism hasn’t been successful anywhere as far as I know. It’s a nice idea in theory perhaps but in practise hasn’t worked. Skilled jobs or own businesses or jobs requiring higher education pay more. Or sometimes you get lucky but that is the way of the world. @EarthlyNightshade what are you suggesting is the solution?

Of course, but it’s also not as straightforward as ‘I have a cleaner so I never need to get the Hoover out’.

not puritanical, we’ve had cleaners on and off over the years. It didn’t really work for us because during the week we were busy or away and didn’t make much mess. It was weekends we really needed a cleaner, because we have guests or make more extravagant food, or do projects in the house, or take the dogs out to the beach or on muddy walks. No way could we just leave all that for a cleaner in a few days time so we did it ourselves.

If PP is happy with the set up, great. But I would feel a bit nervous being shackled to a man who thought cleaning was beneath him and who allowed us to have a cleaner, which he paid for. You’re dependent on him and he’s not really a team player.

My neighbour has a cleaner. She works in a restaurant and earns less than she pays her cleaner but has to work X amt of hours to get her benefits, with other family commitments she doesn't have time to clean (so she says)

Cleaning doesn't need a qualification unlike the other grafting jobs you have mentioned.

You're being very tone/class deaf.

Maybe go outside and touch some grass? Read the news? Or are you one of those who "Do not get involved in these things"?

Why do you know so much about her financial situation?
Who cares if she claims top up benefits and has a cleaner. Some people's sole income is benefits and they have a cleaner because they would be living in filth otherwise.

Good for you. You are providing employment. When I was working full time and commuting to/from Lds and Sheffield, getting up at 5, home by 7, I had a cleaner who came Tuesdays. It was lovely getting home on Tuesdays to a clean hoovered home and the ironing done. Lovely woman. I treasured her for years. I would have gone mad otherwise or died from overwork. (1 DH & 2DC)

if you’re equating cleaning with servicing a boiler why not ask your cleaner to service your boiler.

I don't see having a cleaner as a luxury, maybe im wrong but luxury means having the money to live a luxurious lifestyle.

I don’t see how you can’t see it’s a luxury! It’s nowhere near the same as having your boiler serviced ffs! You don’t need a qualification to hoover and clean!

It’s a luxury for me now, although it’s only 2 hours a fortnight , so I do most of it. It absolutely wasn’t when the children were small, and I was running myself ragged at work all week. It was that, or give up work.

I employ a cleaner for my dad who is 94 on his own and has dementia. If I had time I would do his cleaning myself as well as my own.

OP I'm 100 per cent with you.
Getting a takeaway once a week is not seen as an indulgence/ luxury and definitely nobody judges a person choosing ti have their weekly treat. For the same price as a take away for a family of 4, you can get your house cleaned. I would rather get my house cleaned. I never get why people judge.

Maybe because a lot of people simply can't afford it?