Child reading while mother on social media

[SuperGinger]

I saw a mum on the tube with a small boy, he was doing his reading to her, she was not listening at all, just doom scrolling through rubbish on Instagram. He would finish a page and she didn't notice (until about 10 seconds had passed, during which he just sat there), she would then turn the page.

I know that listening to your small child reading can be boring but AIBU to think she should try to pay attention and be present? It is setting a bad example to her child and is disrespectful and frankly sad.

Then on the Today programme they are discussing the negative impact of phones on children and how helpless parents feel, but you read what you sow.

other parents can be upsetting to witness, ignoring their kids but i guess most of us have busy lives

Had the OP worded it differently, this could have been an interesting discussion.

Instead, the OP has chosen to judge someone's (who might not even be a parent) parenting because they were on the phone and from how much time OP believes they spent getting ready.

Maybe she values reading so highly that this is the 4th or 5th time she's listened to him read that book. She's a bit sick of it, but he's enjoying reading so she's letting him read it a final time before he hands it back. She listened carefully the first times, but at this point she knows he can do it. Every evening she reads to him and he reads to her. She's taught him that reading helps you regulate (not in those words), so he asks to read when he's sad or tired or having a bad morning. This has been a bad morning, so she desperately needs a few minutes to herself where she can fit it in.

I listen to my DC read almost every day; I read to them every day. Sometimes I'm not very focused the 30th time I've read the same book or the 6th time they've read one. I've made my DD read the last chapter just before we leave in the morning because it's got to go back that day or wait a whole week and we've read a chapter every night except the one when she has a late activity and still not quite finished.

Don't be so judgemental of a tiny snapshot of someone doing the right thing less than perfectly.

So you were jealous and decided to find something to make you feel better about that.
How on earth do you know it was supposed to be done yesterday?
What difference does it make if she is immaculate and wearing make up?
Do you have children? Mornings can be hugely stressful and sometimes the journey is a chance to decompress.
Get off your high horse and work on yourself instead of judging others.

How do you know it wasn't done the day before and the child was just repeating it?

I mean it's not great that she's essentially ignoring her child for her phone but maybe, just maybe, she's taken a few seconds on the tube for herself after an entire morning of the same book?

Hate these threads where someone just wants to shame a parent for 30 seconds of their day that they happen to have seen.

Whilst I'm do agree this is a tiny snippet of someone's life and you can't really judge them on it, I also think that adults on phones in the presence of their children is an issue, but I think phones are a threat to all relationships these days, not just ones with your children.

I try and save mindless scrolling on social media to times when I'm alone to be honest. It's not just about my children, I don't do it in my husband's company very often either because I just think it's really negative for relationships.

But have I never spent a few minutes scrolling instagram with my children or husband in the room? No. Phones are addictive, I find my self managing my screen use like I manage eating a healthy diet, it takes effort to reduce screentime and you aren't 100 per cent successful at having healthy screen time all the time.

Maybe if they carefully applied some make up they would look less stressed and tired.

I'm not sure of the etiquette with that though, do we judge them for having make up on, or applaud them for going to work?

It's a minefield.

How do you know she HADN'T made that time before they left the house and he just WANTED to do it again?

Do you never pick up your phone when you have your children? Ever?

You’ve just made that up! How the flipping HELL do you know that anything was “left to the last minute” ffs?!?! Stop fabricating things to get angry about! Weird.

I am a primary teacher, OP, and also a mum of a 7 year old and a 5 year old. I completely agree with you. There is absolutely no need to scroll while your child is reading to you.

She was obviously the parent, the child looked just like her. It was an affluent area of London, the child went a private school, she looked like many mums who drop their children at school then go for a run/coffee. I know because I come from the same back ground. I didn't say anything on the tube because I wanted to hive her benefit of the doubt but I couldn't stop thinking about the poor little boy the way he waited for her suggested this was pretty normal.

Pfft, "affluent" my arse. She would not slumming on the tube. Her driver can take her kid to school, surely 🙄

You sound like my grandma. A few months ago she delighted in telling me how appalled she was to see a mum walking a pram with a baby in it, and the mum was chatting away to someone on the phone. Grandma was horrified that this mum wasn’t talking to her baby and interacting with the baby. I told her not to be so ridiculous, the baby could’ve been asleep, but even if not, perhaps that mum has spent all bloody day at home playing with and interacting with her baby and just needs five minutes to herself for a phone call. I told grandma she had no idea what that woman’s day looked like and she shouldn’t judge.

Ffs

Ah, we're at the 'private school equals gazillionaires' bit. You do know that some people get bursaroes, schloarships, use one entire wage to fund fees? Sorry, not the point i know but this winds me up.

I was a huge reader as a kid! My mum ALWAYS took the time to do my reading homework and listen to me. Always read me bedtime stories. Which in part is what ignited my love of books! I remember in secondary school all the books had coloured labels based on reading ability/age and I remember being so happy and proud that I managed to reach "free reader" level which meant I could read ANY book I wanted to! Honestly in year 6 I think one of them was Anne of Green Gables and Little Women!

I know that. Just matching the batshit tone of this thread.

This reminds me of when we forgot to do DD1’s reading book one week and we had to do it on the walk to school

This thread is full of phone addicted parents with iPad kids. If this post has triggered you then you have issues!

Omg the more you post the clearer it is that you're so obviously jealous or intimidated and have to find fault with her. 🤣

No. Just someone who works supporting families and so know that one brief encounter on a train does not give the OP any idea about the woman and her child. Anyone with half a brain would understand that.

Maybe she was up half the night with a younger sibling but determined to take her eldest to school and was just giving the best she had at the time?

At least she wasn't loudly performative parenting at the ass crack of dawn 'Oh well DONE DC! C-A-T spells 'CAT'

Or god forbid...did the school run in her dressing down 🙄

Sounds like you’re projecting a bit there!

I'm with you OP and I don't care if that makes me judgy.

Performative parenting gets short thrift on here too.