Child reading while mother on social media

[SuperGinger]

I saw a mum on the tube with a small boy, he was doing his reading to her, she was not listening at all, just doom scrolling through rubbish on Instagram. He would finish a page and she didn't notice (until about 10 seconds had passed, during which he just sat there), she would then turn the page.

I know that listening to your small child reading can be boring but AIBU to think she should try to pay attention and be present? It is setting a bad example to her child and is disrespectful and frankly sad.

Then on the Today programme they are discussing the negative impact of phones on children and how helpless parents feel, but you read what you sow.

Why didn't you just ask her.

Better still, offer some unsolicited advice based on your own assumptions. Random strangers love that.

It doesn't look great I agree.
And yes we don't know the full picture, but surely you would listen to your child reading rather than scroll through your phone?!

There are lots of great Dads taking their kids to school near me and she was not the nanny, definitely the mother.

Are the Dads all great because they don't have carefully applied makeup?

How do you know?
Was there a neon sign above her declaring that the child was indeed hers?

Do they look stressed because they work too?

If this impacted you so much that you felt the need to come here at the end of the day and not only put your judgmental attitude in writing but expected others to chime in too, then why didn’t you just tell her off right then and there? You could have actually done something. What is the purpose of your post really?

Agréés op, I totally agree.

The amount of parents I see doom scrolling, their kid sat next to them, staring into space.

Utter madness

I try bloody hard and I've always valued reading very highly, giving your child a love of reading for pleasure is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give. I think there are studies that show it can positively impactly impact attainment later on in life.

I was tempted to say something.

I value reading too. I read to my dc every day without fail and listen to them read too. You have no idea whether or not this woman values reading. You’ve made a judgement about her whole life and commitment as a mother based purely on a snapshot you witnessed.

But instead you came here to shame her

Children shouldn’t be reading when they are tired so doing it in the morning is often the right time. It’s just most families are busy rushing around getting ready to get to school and/or work on time.

For all you know, the woman wasn’t even her mother.

YABVU

judging based on a snap shop in time and the fact that she was nicely dressed

I judge you for your nasty judgey pants thread

Don't be silly. The mother could not possibly value reading or enjoy a book from time to time because she likes to wear makeup and athleisure wear.

Why?
You made so made assumptions about her based on the fact she was wearing make-up, what she was wearing, the fact she didn't look "stressed" (so clearly not working).
You assumed she was the mother, had neglected the child to put her make-up on, ignored the child in her home the night before so the child was doing reading last minute.
All negative things.

Maybe she is a nanny, or even an older sister. Or a mum that is a SAHP. Maybe the child loves reading, and was just doing that on the tube to pass the time. What meaningful activities can you actually do on the tube anyway?

I hope that if you see her again, you do say something. I look forward to her thread on here.

Did you start this thread on your phone? Gosh, I hope not. I mean, where are your children? Should you not be reading to them?

Yabu. You witnessed a brief moment and decided to judge her.

Just too much judging OP! Judge yourself first.

I agree this is just so sad

Many people are addicted to their phones - me included. Everything else is boring. We scroll when we watch tv, when we work, when we cook. You cannot connect to the person next to you if you’re on your phone. You can hmm and nod but there’s no real connection and interaction.
Tbh, in public most of us try better simply because we are more alert and aware of what we are doing.
If that’s her better - yes, it’s sad for the child.

Oh dear op....a version of this thread is up at least once a week. A poster says "i saw x example of sonething we'd all actually, in RL think was pretty crap parenting" aibu to think so too? Responses will be:
A snapshot
B unknown disability
C dramatic extenuating circumstances, usually the funeral of a close relative

and so on.

Any attempt to drag the thread onto a more useful footing about the actual issue, in this case parents ignoring children in favour of phones will be bulldozed by people returning to the specfic incident in the OP. There will be a willful denial that this is a common feature of parenting even though we all know it is and that it WONT always be any of A-C above.

You were tempted to shame the lady in front of a child. How perfect of you.

Not really relevant to this, but I used to always see a mum and two girls on the tube on my way to work. They were obv on their way to school and work. The older girl was about 8 and would be reading a horrid Henry or similar, and the youngest was obviously in reception and would be doing her home reading with her mum. I was always somewhat in awe of the good use of time with the tube journey, as well as the logistics of taking primary aged kids to school on the tube into central London!