Friends asking for their money back

[Nicolasaa9]

Hi, I am not even sure if this is the right place to post this, but I really need to vent.

My two closest friends and I planned to go to an event together. I live in London, one friend is in Hertfordshire and the other lives up north. We agreed to book it in Leeds, get a hotel, and make a proper girls weekend of it, especially as the friend up north is usually the one travelling south.

Both friends have now said they are too unwell to go. They asked me to put their tickets up for resale, which I have done, and have also asked me to pay them back for their share of the hotel even though I am still going.

The hotel is non refundable, and I used around £200 of my own points to book it. There was an extra £60 to pay, which I asked them to split between them at £30 each, which felt fair given the points I used.

They are now asking for that £30 back. I am still going because I have wanted to see this event for ages, but it means driving four hours to something I could have reached in ten minutes on the tube, and spending the weekend alone.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling this is unfair

Love the responses by some others, some great ideas.
Poorly leg 🙈 I think it's really poor form that the northern one won't come down to spend time with you regardless of going to the gig, especially since you've booked it especially to be closer to her end!
You can have a look on twitter or fb what not to see if you can connect with others going or if anyone wants to go

Lesson learned never pay up front for flaky friends or friends who always moan about money!
Did you book a larger room than you need now? Is there any way you could try to get a single or smaller room and be refunded some Expedia points? X

"I know you might think the hotel was free for me because I used points, but it was £200 that I could have used on another trip with my kids. I subsidised your costs which is why you're only out £30 each in the first place. I can't quite believe you're asking for that money back and therefore expecting me to pay the full cost. Fuck off you pair of cheeky cunts"

Feel free to drop the last sentence if you (inexplicably) want to see these people again.

And maybe find another friend or two - unrelated to the group - to join!

OP, if they think that the hotel was 'free' for you, you need to very clearly say that, on the contrary, the reason it was so affordable for them in the first place, is that you were subsidising them with your points (that you got from using the hotel previously).

You were generous to do this but now that they are not going, you are using your points, er, pointlessly! And therefore they need to pay you back for the points (which equate to money) that you are using unnecessarily. So you are keeping the £60 AND asking for the balance owed to you.

Don't let them away with this.

Sorry "friend" the hotel is non refundable.

Thats the end.

So you've effectively used your family "cashback" to pay more than your share to get to an inconvenient location to suit them and now they can't be arsed and haven't thought how shit it will be for you to go alone and pay to travel for a journey and hotel room you didn't want or need to see the gig? Fuck them.

They are not dependable because they have no concept of value because they don't expect to pay for their flakiness.

They cancelled, so they lose what they've paid, (which was a very good deal), as it's non-refundable. That's logical, surely?

That's a lesson to only take hotel rooms with a cancellation time.
Of course, it can happen that you fall ill at the last minute.

You'd think, but I've had this happen to me as well. A country cottage where I actually managed to find two other friends for the second night that two people cancelled at the last minute.
If I ever do something similar again, each person will have to pay upfront.

It was a bit different in that my friend and I were due to share and she still went so I didn’t think it was fair for her to pay twice the price because I was ill! The room being refundable wouldn’t have made any offence in our circumstances.

If you give them their money back it will just encourage flakey behaviour in future. Let them feel the financial pain, so that in future they don't make plans and pull out on a whim.

Your friends are happy for you to be out of pocket for several hundred, essentially, whilst demanding their £30 each back and simultaneously pretending you weren't already subsidising their get away with your own points. Points you could have spend on people who don't take the piss.

I'd be very clear with them that they are completely out of order for asking you to give them their money back, asking you take even MORE of a loss than you already have on their behalf, and that you are now re-evaluating the friendship.

If you were going alone then you wouldn't have booked somewhere suitable for three people and it would have been cheaper. You also wouldn't have booked it miles from home.

They are CF's of the highest order OP. You used your points to make it cheaper for them and don't appreciate it and then expect money back on a non refundable room. If you'd booked refundable it would have cost more and they probably wouldn't have wanted to pay more. No way would i be paying them a penny and no way would i be booking anything for them again. In fact I'm not sure I'd even want to be friends any more.

@Nicolasaa9 YANBU. They're being cheeky.

If the hotel was £200 in points plus £60 in cash, then the room cost £260.
Divided by 3 is £86.67 each.

Your share was more than covered by your points, so actually they owe you £56.67 each on top of the £30 each they've already paid.

No good deed goes unpunished. I've had a couple of these in the last year and have notes stored in my diary, so if I go to put in "janet" to my calendar I get a message " remember not to pay anything as Janet is flakier than pastry".

Cheeky fxxkers is right.
They really are cheeky.
Time and time again on MN nice people getting caught out for paying in advance.
My teens know not to do it, you leave yourself wide open.
Money up front, absolutely no confusion then.

Toughen up OP, they are completely in the wrong here.

Without your generous use of points they be paying £86.66 each. Remind them of that.

I’m assuming this gig is at the weekend - it is only Thursday now. How absolutely pathetic to say you have a cold so can’t go to a gig 2-3 days later. As for the sore leg, there are just no words. I’d be blocking both of them, they are not your friends.

They’re being really cheeky OP. Point out that you put £200 of points towards the hotel room that you could have used elsewhere which reduced their share of the hotel room considerably. The hotel is non refundable so there’s no way to cancel it and refund everyone. You’d never have planned to go up north for the event without them, so there’s no way it’s fair for you to be out of pocket for £60 because they can’t go.

Buy the points aren't free, you earned them by spending your hard earned cash. It's also £200 you could have used for your family. Now, if you book a holiday, you can't use them, and you have to pay the £200 you might have otherwise saved, so actually you ultimately are paying £200 for the hotel while they paid £30 each.

I'm honestly astounded by people every single day of life. Wonder if the tickets don't sell they will want you to refund those too.

Yep, say you aren’t feeling well either, so they owe you for the non-refundable hotel. £30 each.

I'd insist, even if it cost me the friendship. Because if my friends treated me this way, I'd rather have £30 than them.

@Nicolasaa9 sadly I've learned not to use points of any kind on anybody as well.

They might be confused about the costings but you just need to tell them straight how it breaks down and that they owe you money. I think they just saw it as cheap and just didn't care about you losing your points.

i'm also not sure why you are listing the tickets - is it because you bought them?

Ask them how they think they are going to get their money back if the hotel is none refundable? Some people are really thick!

Who wants friends like this.. hotel is non - refundable cheek of the pair of them.