Giving money to adult children?

[Menonut]

I don’t want to jump on the Beckham bandwagon but I’ve just read that Nicola Peltz receives an allowance of $1 million a month! Surely that’s insane?
What motivation has she got to go out and achieve anything for herself when she can basically sit on her backside and receive that.
Is that madness or AIBU?

I understand wanting to help your children and do the very best for them, and we will help our son as much as we can to get his foot on the ladder, but surely a time comes when they’ve got to be self sufficient and stand on their own two feet?

I’ve always like Peter Jones’s approach to this. He said he will double his kids earned income so if that income is 0 they will receive 0. If they choose a role that is in the charity sector or the NHS for example the amount he gives them will be increased. This means they are not scraping a living on minimum wage, but they have a purpose to their life.

How do you know there aren't conditions on the money she gets?

Would imagine it's been this way for rich kids for a very long time.

I'm not keen on Peter Jones approach. I've always given my ds a little pocket money, with no expectation, because I love him.
I also plan to pay off as much of ds' student loan as I can because I graduated with no debt (about £5 in the black)

I expect him to work during his degree, as I did, but I won't see him left with a huge millstone of debt because I'd feel like I'd failed him.

Everyone has their own approach but I'd never give a vast fortune. Everyone needs to learn moneysense and budgeting, and how to support themselves in an emergency.

$1 mill is obviously a huge amount of money but they are literal billionaires 😂

I think it depends - my parents have some friends who came from nothing and through successful businesses/careers have made enormous amounts of money. In those cases, they're always very wary that they want their children to stand on their own two feet like they themselves did, so whilst they've given their children a bit of money for a wedding, or towards a house etc, they don't give their kids a regular allowance or anything like that.

On the other hand, my DH comes from a relatively wealthy "self-made" family (not Times rich list or billionaires!) but his parents have never given us a penny - not even paid for a meal out when we were students and they would come to visit. Obviously we are more than happy to do our own thing, we both have good careers and earn well, but it does sting when they criticise us for not having enough money for a new kitchen, or for having a small house, or driving an old car (some recent 'chestnuts' of advice they have given).

I'd always want to help my kids where I can I guess, but I agree that a regular income puts kids off working themselves

Was it Warren Buffet who said he gives his kids enough so they can do anything but not so much that they do nothing?

I’ve just read that Nicola Peltz receives an allowance of $1 million a month
Where did you read that? Is is true or just gossip?

And there was Harper Beckham in Paris yesterday with a Chanel handbag (probably her mother's of course). Does she ever go to school for a full week?

Disregarding the fact that we’re talking about a family who appear reasonably dysfunctional; I think it’s up to parents. I don’t personally believe in there being some kind of moral virtue in “earning” money, it’s just what most of us have to do if we want any. If you don’t need to earn it, and aren’t particularly fussed about achieving any sort of great pursuit, that’s fine.

Did Peter Jones pay for his kids to go through uni or did they have to work through that aswell?

I’d want my kids to be doing something but I wouldn’t give them nothing at all if I was wildly rich.

one of them is disabled anyway and will probs ly never hold down a full time job,

I've never taken a penny from my parents in adulthood and I've never given my adult children money either. I could help them out and if there was crisis, I would help. But I'm a great believer in humans being far better humans if they if they work hard and see the fruits of their labour. I'd be ashamed of my children if they were happy to take money from me unless they genuinely needed it through no fault of their own.

This is how rich families have worked for a long time. Heirs to large fortunes live on their interest or allowance. Live in the family properties etc etc.

Oh i dunno if i was a multi multi millionaire i wouldn't keep it to myself either, but back in the real world most parents help their adult dc where they can, but most in the real world adult dc have jobs, uber rich people are not like us.

Agree and yes, very much like Peter Jones’ approach.

Does anybody know what his kids do?

That's a good idea - helping your son with student debt. DH and I had thousands in debt for a mixture of tuition fees and living expenses but we paid them off about 10 years ago and not facing anything like what are teens are. Hopefully, on their 20's we will be in a position to help.

If I was a billionaire, I’d do the same. 🤷🏻‍♀️

We help out our kids. I’d rather share our money now whilst they’re young and we are around to see it, rather than when we’re dead and they’re older and they probably won’t need it is much.

Judgy people will always judge though.

We help our adult DDs out ... they work hard and we can afford it. I wouldn't do it if they were lazy.

I'd hate to be sitting on a load of dosh and see our kids struggle, it doesn't seem right to me.

Yes, this is more concerning than the clothes- why is she not at school?

A) there’s probably an accounting/tax reason for giving her money
B) if I had £1m a month for myself and another £1m a month going spare, for sure I’d give it to my children! Isn’t the point point of making money to hand it down to future generations?

I’d help my kids to an extent, not so much they never had to work. But these people don’t have any perspective - a million probably doesn’t seem like much. 100k a month for exotic housing, 100k for trainer and cook and hairdresser, 100k on jewellery or whatever… she’d literally have to save for over a year to buy a bog standard 8m house. That probably feels unreasonable!!

I’m in my 40s and had an allowance until I was married.

Not quite that much a month though 😂

I think the Beckham PR machine are hoping people won’t notice that, whilst putting stories out about Nicola. The Beckhams seem to have been quite poor parents using their kids how they have.

I agree with you, but I think there comes a point when having money is a problem. If they give it to her now, out of income, that a kids a really huge 🤔 inheritance.

I have told my DC I'll help with house deposits by matching whatever they save.

I would imagine she has "tutors" or goes to private school in the US where rich children are in and out of school all the time.

I'm gobsmacked at that!!

I have given my DCs some money to help them get on the property ladder, but they still have big mortgages. And they work really hard in their chosen careers.
I don't agree with funding adult DCs on and on. Someone I know has 3 sons. They were still giving them what the parents used to call 'pocket money' into their 30s!
And they also bought each of them a property each one worth £400,000+. One does work intermittently but does dabble in drugs, the youngest is a waste of space because he wants to be an entrepreneur, he refuses to work for anyone and has been doing sod all for over a decade except play golf and go to the gym!

Have you ever worked?