Giving money to adult children?

[Menonut]

I don’t want to jump on the Beckham bandwagon but I’ve just read that Nicola Peltz receives an allowance of $1 million a month! Surely that’s insane?
What motivation has she got to go out and achieve anything for herself when she can basically sit on her backside and receive that.
Is that madness or AIBU?

I understand wanting to help your children and do the very best for them, and we will help our son as much as we can to get his foot on the ladder, but surely a time comes when they’ve got to be self sufficient and stand on their own two feet?

I’ve always like Peter Jones’s approach to this. He said he will double his kids earned income so if that income is 0 they will receive 0. If they choose a role that is in the charity sector or the NHS for example the amount he gives them will be increased. This means they are not scraping a living on minimum wage, but they have a purpose to their life.

My dad has promised me the empty beer bottles when he dies

Me too probably.

Let’s face it, there aren’t many people out there who’d choose to work if they had £1 million a month.

Nobody is going to work on that are they?

I wouldn’t want my family sitting getting stressed in offices or hospitals or garages etc to earn money if I was a billionaire who could share the moment around and let them just enjoy life without the commitment of a full time job.

I think it’s a totally reasonable way for billionaires to live. Whether billionaires should exist is a seperate issue, but whilst they do, why on earth shouldn’t they just enjoy the money rather than pretend to be one of the people earning £50k a year. It would be ridiculous

There is more to life than work. As long as my kids were doing positive things, were good people and were happy, I really wouldn’t care if they didn’t work if I had a million pounds a month to give them. Nicola seems to have done bits modelling, acting, charity work etc. Their finances are her and her families business only, and I think any criticism stems from the Beckham PR team and jealousy from the public. If someone commented on me giving my child money, they can fuck right off.

My parents have given me money a few times. Both myself and my sister are treated equally, so if she needs money for whatever reason, my dad will randomly call me and say he is putting some money into my bank account. I think in the last 5yrs or so I have had £30k paid to me.

This is why Brooklyn has kicked off at his parents!! He asked them to “match or better” the allowance amount his wife got from her parents and HIS parents said no you are an adult you already get a lot of money from us you aren’t a child needing money to live off you are getting married you need to earn a living of your own now! This pissed off his finance and himself so much they made up a load of crap and have fallen out with his family -he’s thrown his toys out of the pram basically!!
why 2+2 hadn’t been added up by the press etc already about him being annoyed about the ££ being refused before the wedding and then this happening I don’t know!

I’ve paid for all of my children’s university expenses and they received m £25k each from their grandparents, who weren’t wealthy but lived cheaply and had ok pensions and put £100 a month into accounts for each grandchild. Two children have now bought their own places and moved out but we house one of our children while he is looking for somewhere to buy. When he leaves I think we’ll have done our bit, but will use money to tide them over if any emergencies spring up.

I’m 29, married and still get an allowance from my grandparents.

I think what I’m getting at is that I’d need my kids to have a purpose in life, I think it is soul destroying if you don’t. Whatever that purpose may be.
100% if I had spare money I’d give it to my son but I just wouldn’t want him to drift aimlessly through life.
That said the reason I don’t have any spare money is because we are funding him through uni!

I really don't see the point in billionaires all of a sudden deciding its important their children experience 'normality'. If you've brought them up with the typical trappings of extreme wealth, that horse has long bolted. Both parents and child knows well they're engaging in a pretence; and playing the role of someone who needs a job cannot possibly replicate the experience of actually needing a job. If I were a billionaire I'd give my children an allowance and encourage them towards unpaid voluntary work. Better than taking a paid opportunity from someone who needs to work.

We have helped ours with house purchase deposits, and smaller sums now and then. We are very much aware of how much more difficult things are for younger people now - particularly as regards house prices. Dh and I had no help, but then we had no need of any - houses were far more affordable.

We are putting money aside every year into S&S ISAS for the grandchildren, for access at 18. I just have to hope and pray that they’ll have the sense not to blow it all!

I’m a single mum and my parents give me a monthly amount to pay for things for the children (tutors, sports club). They do it because they know I struggle and don’t want the children to miss out on things that will help them in the long term.

I think they will help them at uni too.

I personally haven’t had financial help from them and it does grate sometimes when they ask why I’m not taking the children on holiday or when I’m going to replace my old knackered car.

Blimey, I wish my parents had been generous Billionaires! I could handle my life having no incentive, lol.

I don't agree with the Peter Jones approach at all. Why should those on the highest salaries get more? Some jobs just pay more than others it doesn't mean that person has worked harder.
Reward effort yes but not that way
I have adult children and I will continue helping them as much as I can for as long as I can. There was no one to make my life easier so I want to do as much as I can for my children.
They are both hard working, responsible people so this approach hasn't hurt them

It’s probably like mere mortals bunging their kid £100 a month.

Not sure how much we will give DS yet. He did a degree apprenticeship and stayed at home as his employer sent him to a local University. So the 25k we had put aside remains untouched. DH and I disagree on the amount to be given, I would be more generous.

We are not wealthy but we think DC need money now in their 20s rather than when we are dead. So we gave DC lump sums towards deposits and give them some money throughout the year. Not enough to change their attitude to work but enough that they are very appreciative. Both are very hard working and financially savvy.
Neither DH nor I got any financial help from our parents.

My cousins have trust funds. But major expenses were/are still paid for by their parents.

My cousins went to private school and although I never knew what their allowance was - I knew that one of them bought designer dresses and didn’t have a job. She would also visit the hair salon every single week to have her hair washed, blow dried and set in curls. If she had an event she would have her hair and makeup done professionally.

They had their vehicles bought for the. Their degrees were paid for. Their living expenses while they studied. Their overseas vacations were paid for - not just for them but their sexual partners were also paid for. Their extravagant weddings were paid for.

They still have their childhood bedrooms in their parents house - even though they are both married.

It has meant that they can take massive risks with their careers. It has meant that they can travel and buy property. They know that they always have a backup.

Meanwhile I was trying to work out how I was going to pay for new tyres for my car or have urgent dental surgery. At the time I was maxed out on my credit card.

How do you know this?

It’s all relative. Her family are billionaires. Pocket money of $1m a month is like someone on a modest wage giving their child $10 a month (buying them a coffee & cake once a month).

Why wouldn’t you help your children out?

MN is very odd about this sort of thing, but in the real world everyone I know has helped their adult children in some form (usually letting them live rent-free into their 20s).

I was wondering why she wasn't in school.

I guess she won't be needing any qualifications.

DP is 34 and his grandma slips him an envelope with $1000 cash every now and again - for his birthday, for Christmas, his first holiday with me, for the summer, etc.

I think it’s lovely 😊

why not. If you can afford for them to try lots of things and find some they are passionate about why not?

probably it’s conditional. And I’d probably have rule if they haven’t figured out by a certain age they work in the family business

the whole point of money is freedom why wouldn’t you want that for your children if you could provide it. It’s not like they won’t have an education.

She’s probably just at a learning centre which are more flexible and has a travelling tutor if needed

Always someone has to ask the "gotcha" stupid question.