AIBU to feel completely stuck while waiting for ADHD help?

[Clark2611]

I’m on a long waiting list for ADHD support and I feel like my life is on pause.
i’m functioning on the outside but everything feels harder than it should.
some days I can’t tell if I’m coping or just masking and running on fumes.
i keep being told to wait, but the waiting itself is exhausting.😞

What are you hoping will be different if/when you get a diagnosis?

And how long have you been waiting?

Similar situation, feel the same with my abusive coparent... Just having to manage.

However there is a lot of help.out there that we need to search for. Forums to just have others that understand what we are going through, who can offer tips and tricks for areas we struggle with.

You feel alone, makes complete sense. Now find a group of Facebook or somewhere else to build the understand and support.

Starting with vitamins recommended for adhd is a reslly good place to start (I've done it for my son and it is paying off... need to do it for me!)

Are you waiting for medication? Can you accept the cost and go privately?

YABU because ultimately you have to take responsibility for your self and your own wellbeing .
Diagnosis or not - there is no magical support coming your way that is going to fundamentally change your life .

I’m in your exact situation. I’ve been told 3 years.

Who told you 3 years? HealthHarmonie Minds are accepting Right to Choose referrals and have a 6 weeks waiting list.

I think if you think you have ADHD then you need to work out what changes you need to make to your life to be able to function better.

Medication is not a miracle worker and doesn’t cover all aspects of ADHD.

Have a plan. You say you are masking. Is there any situations when you can begin to unmask to make it less exhausting? With ADHD you have to accept life is more exhausting. What can you cut down? Can you say no to more things. And get more rest?

Are there any supplements you can take? I’m finding Lions Mane and Saffron help with focus.

No screens for 30 minutes in the morning to help dopamine. I try and get outside as soon as possible for light in my eyes.

There are things you can do to help in the meantime whilst waiting for a diagnosis.

Both my GP and my Talking Therapy counsellor. I haven't even been given any lists from Right to Choose yet.

Dh chosen to manage his adhd without medication and he is on the severe end.

Dh has never masked. I didn't know that was possible with adhd so you learn something new on mum's net!

All our kids have severe adhd too. We have learned to structure life.

We have set daily routines with regular reminders from alexa to get up, shower, get dressed, think about leaving, when they need to leave for school

All of the kids and dh have laminated packing lists for what they need to pack for next day with everything put by front door (with an alexa reminder at 5pm to do this)

Dh hyperfocuses on his job so that isn't a issue for him as he loves it.

We use a joint family calendar for all appointments, kids matches and sports with reminders the week before, day before then leading up to event. Again with alexa reminding when we need to be thinking about leaving the house.

Structure and repetition works for us

As does having everything so it can be seen. Homework reminders in the wall, digital calendar on the kitchen wall.

We even set reminder to go to bed as often get carried away with things then realise its midnight. (Kids ones are set for their bedtime)

Same for bills. Spreadsheet made once a year and checked only when stuff changes. All money is sorted by standing order and dd into different savings pots. We both have spending accounts with no overdraft to avoid overspend.

Food shopping is done online, same slot everywhere to again avoid impulse buys..

Friends only see at weekends and only once every couple weeks as need downtime

Oh yes definitely no phones or pads in morning or after 9pm

What are you struggling with specifically?

I was on medication for about 7 years after diagnosis, then had to come off it due to potential interactions with a more important medication, so I've been raw-dogging ADHD for a few years and have picked up a few coping mechanisms.

If you let us know what elements in particular you're finding hard, I'm sure between us the hive mind of ADHD Mumsnet will have some suggestions!

ADHD medication can be life changing, what on earth are you on about no ‘magic support’?

This is nonsense.

Do you mind sharing what vitamins are helpful?

I have been on a waiting list for more than 4 years. I will be unlikely to receive an appointment before December this year. I have a paediatric diagnosis. But I was never offered medication as I got good grades and was a girl (yay the 90s!). I therefore had to join a waiting list for an adult assessment (which they admit will agree that I do have ADHD) in order to access medication (which is in excess of £200 a month).

People added to the waiting list last summer are, based on appointment scheduling over the last three years, unlikely to be seen for more than 20 years.

I am in Wales, so there is no right to choose or shared care option.

I am not in the health board with the longest waiting lists.

Agreed - medication can be hugely helpful.

You don't need lists. Just Google ADHD UK right to choose, look at the list, then ask the GP to refer to the organisation of your choice.

Are there any self help groups you could access? I'm finding it really important to do as little as possible at the weekends, but I crave a bit of excitement.

But he has a capable manager in you!

Sorry but that sound ms so depressing. Is this how it has to be?

What support are you waiting for? Is it for medication? I’m diagnosed with ADHD and ASD and had ADHD focused therapy.

Have a look at the online events from adhd uk https://events.adhduk.co.uk/page/2/ I’ve found them massively helpful

Why is it depressing? Structure works for us. Everyone gets here they need to be. No one is burnt out

@Hankunamatatahow do you make yourself do something when the reminder goes? Most of the time a reminder does nothing to make me actually do a thing.

Yeah but dr thinks I'm inattentive....we both had to work this out when kids came along, as things really fell apart. I ended up with major depression and not coping - dh ended up in therapy.

So we went on parenting courses and got help from Bernardos actually to structure things.

My parents taught me the money pot system as I was a bit of an uncotrolled spender