AIBU to feel completely stuck while waiting for ADHD help?

[Clark2611]

I’m on a long waiting list for ADHD support and I feel like my life is on pause.
i’m functioning on the outside but everything feels harder than it should.
some days I can’t tell if I’m coping or just masking and running on fumes.
i keep being told to wait, but the waiting itself is exhausting.😞

Can you tell me more about what vitamins you are using for your son? My dd has asd but also suspected adhd and we will have to wait again to find out about that.

Thanks for correcting me but not for the foul language. Completely unnecessary.

Well aye, fair enough, but still more drain on NHS resources for these anecdotal assessments.

Similar strategies here. DH has quite severe ADHD, I would say. If something isn't in his routine, it just doesn't happen, even if he was reminded about it an hour before. Once it's in his routine, it's reliable.

For work, he has alarms set for every task he does each day. He's a school site manager, so he has alarms for distributing fruit to classrooms, opening gates for children, legionella testing, fire alarm checks, etc., etc. If he forgets his phone in the morning, his day goes a bit haywire.

He also splinters, so things that he's great at in work (such as fire marshall) completely dissolve at home, so I have to say 'how would we get out in a fire?' if he's moved furniture for DIY. You'd think they're the same, but it's different.

I don't think you can mask ADHD in the same way as ASD, but you can compensate so much that other people don't see it. I have ADHD (medicated), but if you asked people about me they'd say I am 'scarily organised'. I have to be. I have 3 teen children with SN and a husband who has ADHD who can't compensate as well as me. My diary is on my phone (shared with my DH and my parents), I have reminders set and I check it religiously.

Budgeting - we use YNAB. Both of us can see the budget. It's live, and it has a widget on our phones so you we update spending to it immediately. It's a rule that YNAB is updated at the till for DH. I run the budget, so I can be a bit more flexible.

Whatever appointment I have, I add 30 minutes so that I'm not rushing in the car and I never have the last minute panic of running late because that makes me a worse driver.

I do still hyper focus. At the moment it's decorating, so I'm awake and pinging at 05.00 and decorating by 05.30, before the girls get up at 7.30. it's annoying because I'm exhausted, but I have to forgive myself because it's not going to change.

I still drop the ball sometimes. Ironically, I double booked the girls' dentist appointments with my ADHD medication follow up, so I'm having to wait until March to get it increased.

Anyway, if you do want an assessment quicker, ADHD UK have a list of the current right to choose waiting times. I'm pretty sure that HealthHarmonie Minds is the provider with the shortest wait time, no separate waiting list for meds, and will prescribe even if your GP surgery refuse shared care. They've been very good so far with my DD1. I asked for referral 2 weeks ago. She has had the triage forms, which I completed. It rightly flagged mental health concerns, so they have sent me a further link to give details of her mental health care. They seem responsible.

Please take a look at RTC. I was referred last week via RTC, had my forms over the weekend and should get an appt in the next month for ADHD and ASD assessments. My GP suggested I go this route rather than the 3+ year waiting list.

There is a list of providers on ADHD UK site with the approximate wait times.

We use novomins, chewy little sweets. Just double checked what he has-He has magnesium, iron, L- theanine,focus dummies, and omega oils. Definitely seen an improvement and I was really surprised!

You do realise MEDICATION comes with a diagnosis, or do you believe a someone with a diagnosis of,say, epilepsy shouldn’t try to get medical support? Or cancer?

Yep. There’s no stupid robot voice that is stronger than my ability to procrastinate

ADHD is dealt with differently depending where you live in the UK. Here is Scotland, there is no RTC for anything. You go on the waiting list via your GP and there you stay - it’s about a 3 year wait where I am. I am going private as I am getting to the stage I can’t function (menopause has made things so much worse, I had no idea this was going to happen!) and I think I need meds (I need to work). I feel your pain op.

You can go through right to choose, I used Adhd360 and was seen within 5 months and had medication sent to me within 3 days. They are taking referrals at the moment, I know as my son just did it.

although I will say don’t pin your hopes on a diagnosis or medication changing anything. Medication works great for two of my adult kids but it’s a very different for me. I can only take medication for 1 -2 days day a week as I just can’t find a balance. In reality I’ve probably got autism as well and there is no treatment for that. So all that diagnosis and medication did for me is give me a label and the understanding/validation that came with it, and one day a week where I am incredibly productive but then can’t sleep for 36-48 hours. It hasn’t improved my life in any measurable way like it has for my children.

My issue with RTC is that I am diagnosed with Bipolar, which I believe is a misdiagnosis (very common for women with adhd/autism). So GP thinks RTC private won’t be able to deal with conflicting diagnoses

I also might not be able to take medication as I have a heart condition.

I’m diagnosed as bipolar too, a condition that I also think was incorrect. I struggle with emotional regulation and that impacts my mood, it didn’t affect the diagnosis of adhd and they said I had to over turn the bipolar diagnosis through the nhs ad they are the ones who diagnosed it.