AIBU to feel completely stuck while waiting for ADHD help?

[Clark2611]

I’m on a long waiting list for ADHD support and I feel like my life is on pause.
i’m functioning on the outside but everything feels harder than it should.
some days I can’t tell if I’m coping or just masking and running on fumes.
i keep being told to wait, but the waiting itself is exhausting.😞

Yes because its the pressure. The reminder is something that needs to be done there and then like shower now or you will be late for work. I won't lie coffee features first thing in my morning

Fish oils have been helpful with the kids and dh - equazen I think is the brand

I won't lie. I currently have 5 loads washing in basket in my dining room that been there for possibly two weeks as I cant face putting them away.
Washing never seems to make it to wardrobes.
Don't get me started on the doom piles or leaving cupboard doors open.

I think ADHD can be either regulated (and you can function) or it is unregulated (and you can barely function). So you have to work out what structures and strategies can help regulate you to then be able to do stuff.

A supportive partner can help. They can body double whilst you need to get things done. And avoid shaming you when you forget stuff. Leave the cupboard doors open etc.

Even things like doing an online supermarket shop (I get very overwhelmed in the supermarket).

It’s frustrating. Everything is harder. I can’t get up and do an early exercise class for example as they would stress me out too much. I have to start the day slowly. Wait for the coffee to kick in..

Those of you with no screens after 9pm, what do you do? Sometimes I am too tired to read, but can’t sleep.

I find sleeping so difficult. Although once I start reading I often get stuck in that and can’t transition to sleeping.

I do no phone screens but TV is ok for me. I do try and read before sleep even just for 5-10 mins as that is calming. .

I think, due to smart phones, constant screen time and instant gratification for almost everything (online shopping, steaming services, etc) before long there will be very few people left who don’t suspect they have ADHD.

Oh piss off. Current diagnosis rates are about 0.2% of population. They estimate about 5% are adhd, so there isn’t an overdiagnosis.

There is a lot of article and videos about it, which make it seem like it is more prevalent tha it actually is. I see lots of adhd reels on instagram because my algorithms show me them. Same with news articles.

It’s hugely under-diagnosed as it was only recently that they even realised girls/women could have ADHD. No girl (and to be honest not that many boys) were diagnosed growing up in the 90s so that’s a whole generation of women missed…

Totally agree about the structure. Makes everyone feel better. I do this and I don't have ADHD.

By “we” I am assuming you or somebody else has taken control of all of the lives and regimentally organised everyone. It’s not going to help any of them long term because those with ADHD need to have a way of organising themselves and learning what works for them.

If you are the one doing all of this organising, once you are not there to micro —completely— manage, they will fall apart and their executive function skills will be even further behind and they will be at a huge disadvantage. You need to ensure they are taught and learn the life skills that they need, not to infantilise them.

They might be ignorant enough to suspect it, but none of that causes ADHD so they won’t be diagnosed with it and medication won’t help them.

So my son has been taking Novomins- he takes the focus ones, magnesium, iron, l-theanine. It took about a month but I am seeing a massive difference. Need to do the same for myself 😄 🤣

I have a colouring in book, listen to music or doodle. I've also found that last 20mins before bed that if I put a timer on i can get more tidying done than any other point in the day. Been sleeping loads better without the screens.

I say that knowing I've broken my rule tonight! I don't do it often!

I’m an ADHD Coach. I didn’t want to read and run but I’m off to bed. I was diagnosed in my mid 40s and now work full time with women who are awaiting their own diagnosis to manage and feel less overwhelmed . There’s no need to not access support and often it can be government funded. I also work with ADHD UK. Their page is absolutely worth checking out. Feel free to drop me a message and I’ll gladly help if I can x

ah ok. I respond to pressure when it’s external but not when it’s ‘internal’. It doesn’t seem to ‘count’ in the same way.

Can you say more about the lion's mane and saffron please? How much do you take?

I take 2 capsules of a saffron supplement called Happy Saffron and a Lion’s Mane gummie by Dirtea.

If you have a look there’s a bit of research out there on these. Obviously no big meta analysis as they are not pharmaceutical products. But I do think diet and supplements can help.

Omega 3 is also important.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9573091/

Saffron study linked. It’s a small study. And it’s obviously an expensive supplement. But my thinking is - it can’t do any harm and I feel it has helped me - whether that is a placebo effect or not!

I think we forget how powerful plants can be though. St John’s Wort do example is used to treat depression.

Have you gone via right to choose OP? My GP did my referral in early Jan and I have already been contacted to fill in all my forms and they are chasing me saying there may be appointments available v soon if I csn get my forms in. Thats with CARE ADHD

Sorry for making assumptions.

There's loads of support out there. You can self refer to access to work and do not need a diagnosis. ADHD UK also run free webinars.

Another post recommending ADHD UK - they have lots of webinars where you pay what you can (or offer free codes if you can't afford them). I also follow lots of ADHD pages on SM, lots of "this is me" moments that help plus tips on various topics. If you can afford it - try an ADHD coach. You don't need a diagnosis to put these into action. I wish I had known about them while I was on the waiting list!

I also just discovered the Dubbi app which is good.

Thanks. I often fold laundry, last night I did it with music and found I managed to wake myself up! Still didn’t sleep for ages. It takes me hours to get to sleep. It’s always been bad, but perimenopause has made it so much worse.

If I could live in a world where I didn’t need to be up until 9am, I’d be fine!

I know several people diagnosed with the medication and they stopped taking it as they didn’t like the side effects.

The best coping is not always lots of pills but coping mechanisms applied to every day life. Of course pills are useful and necessary for some.

There is no shortage of information online on coping mechanism. Maybe look up a new one once a day or week and apply one by one in small manageable chunks and keep a diary of how trying has affected your life?

I get how waiting is frustrating but I don’t see how it’s ‘exhausting’ it sounds like you are struggling to cope and pinning it all on getting better when someone pronounces you diagnosed adhd. Nobody can ‘fix’ you, with a diagnosis you’re not broken, just a bit different. The coping mechanisms will help you bend society to the way your brain works.