To wonder what is wrong with me? Why can’t I get anything done?

[ClearyMe]

Happy to hear I’m just totally lazy and that’s the problem. I feel like that must be true!

Whenever I have a day off, when it’s just me, I will literally get nothing done. It’s like really severe procrastination. I don’t live in a tip, I will eventually do jobs, but it’s hard for me to start anything.

Im not depressed, I don’t think. I just want to rest. I want to shut myself away and do nothing. I don’t know why and I know it’s not good for me. I feel rubbish afterwards. I don’t mind being called lazy, but please be kind. I do want to change. I feel like I get completely overwhelmed by the thought of tasks. When I’m at work, I’m not lazy in the slightest. I’m always busy. I just can’t seem to be like this without the pressure of a work environment. How do I change? Grateful for any constructive advice.

Same girl same

nothing wrong if that OP- it’s your body resting and protecting yourself . We need to listen to our bodies more. Embrace it!

Resting is important I think - although I have to tell myself that regularly as feels hard to do nothing when I spend the rest of the time at 100 miles an hour.

If I do absolutely need to do things I set myself challenges to get it done in an ad break, or before 10am or before the airfryer finishes...

ooscal
Thank you so much for that! Not interfering or bossy at all!
To be honest, that's what l did when l moved to where l live now (over 100 miles from 'home') and l've actually thought about this.
I don't really want to throw money at something like that just now, l'm saving really hard for my move (l imagine while l'm in the process of moving, l'll be in the situation where l'm paying a month's rent on each of both properties), but l've had the idea that if l do register and get offered somewhere before l'm ready, I could put the surplus stuff into a storage unit for the time being.
I'm going to be downsizing (how much, obviously l don't know until l get offered somewhere) and my new place will be 50 miles away from where l am now.
Also, l have no idea how long the waiting list is, so l suspect it's highly unlikely l'll get offered a place in the very near future, but of course l'm thinking worse case scenario, l'm a terrible overthinker.
It's really not a huge amount of stuff in the grand scheme of things, not rooms filled to capacity, just lots of small things which l think makes it a bit worse, not knowing where to start! But l have to.
Thank you again! From my perch on the sofa, under the heated throw, doing nothing. I'm going to start putting stuff on eBay tonight (again!) 😊x

I could have written this post - no motivation to do things I don’t particularly want to do! I find it so much easier when I have a good audio book or podcast. I can’t listen to one staring at the wall so find cleaning while listening to one really helpful. Sadly if I start a dud or one I’m not particularly enjoying my motivation levels drop again.

I have a check list of things i want to do on my days off, I create slots of time for them as I cant do things without deadlines, I aim to have everything done by lunchtime and then have 3 hours to myself to do whatever I fancy - even if that is just sit on the couch and watch tv. I feel guilty lying around when I have stuff to do but this feels like a nice balance.

I also like the saying/quote ‘if a jobs worth doing it’s worth doing a little bit’ maybe the whole bathroom doesn’t need a clean and just doing the toilet will do. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. *often I use this mantra and end up doing it all.

*ooscal *
Just to add - when l moved to where l live now, 100 miles from 'home' l actually moved four times in three years! So l had several clear outs in a short space of time.
All done on my own, besides removal men/vans.
But of course l've been in this house over 10 years and have managed to accumulate more things.
l keep looking at it and thinking "All this was once money. It could be again...." which should be an incentive. And so should be the fact that l'll be moving to a smaller, cheaper place, so more money for doing fun things.
I shall give myself a stern talking to tonight. Thank you again x

OMgosh, this is me. Right now I'm sitting on here and procrastinating about everything I have to do. Following with interest

@katseyes7 That's the spirit. You know what they say about how to eat an elephant - one little bite at a time!

Wishing you much happiness whenever you get to your new home. Now get cracking on a fifteen minute sort out every day. No more than that or you'll give up and get back on the sofa under the heated blanket lol.😂

ooscal
Thank you again! I'm just looking on ebay now for some of the stuff l have, to give me an idea if it'll sell or if l should just take it to the charity shop! x

Depends could be executive dysfunction or could just be the fact that you don’t want to do chores. But who does? I don’t think many people are leaping up to do boring tasks on their day off.

Most other people aren’t doing ‘better’ than you at this specific part of the human condition. Lots of people are living in dirty houses, eat packet food and don’t clean their clothes enough. Most eventually force themselves to do the tasks like you do. Some few enjoy these tasks but hate others.

Why are you so down on yourself if, in your words, you do the tasks eventually?

Completely agree! I was pleasantly surprised that it took a few posters before someone mentioned ADHD 🙄. This is completely normal - and made 10 times worse by phones that are hideously addictive and eat time. Let’s not try and stick a label on everything - it’s not helpful!

I‘m the same! I’ve only been like this for a few years though. I’m blaming the menopause 😂
Our bedroom was an absolute tip so on Sunday I went up to sort it out. I ended up just sitting on the bed staring at the mess hoping it would (Mary Poppins style) sort itself out.
I felt completely overwhelmed by it so had a lie down.
In the end I put some loud (heavy metal) music on to motivate me. It helped a bit but I still didn’t get it all done.

Are you peri menopausal? I had a hysterectomy last year and since then I’ve realised I’m in full blown peri menopause and I have zero motivation to do anything. I work 3 days and on the days I don’t I get back from the school run and just sit, I have to force myself up to do housework etc and I do get it done but if I lived alone I’m not sure I’d move!

Are you on your phone all the time? I put time limits on my apps at new year. Game changing

Just rest - it's allowed and we need it. Especially at this time of year. Just do the bare essentials. Jeez wanting to do nothing doesn't mean there's anything wrong with yoy!
The dust doesn't get any worse after the first year.

You need to be kind to yourself and allow the time to rest. I know this from bitter experience. Give yourself permission and ignore that nagging voice in your head saying ‘lazy….’

Life is busy - too busy a lot of the time and there’s not enough down time, on our own, to recharge. You won’t be able to do everything else that’s essential if your battery isn’t charged.

However, because you want to change I’d recommend (as others have) setting yourself a task and a timer. It’s AMAZING what can be done in a 20 minute burst of focussed time.

A lot of things round the house don’t take masses of time, but trying to think about doing all of them at once is totally overwhelming (and impossible anyway). I’ve found sometimes that after 20 minutes I feel more determined to carry on and am close to finishing so do another 20 minutes or so before having a rest and switching off. And if 20 minutes is the limit of my capacity, I’ve still made a difference and achieved something.

You may not be depressed, but do you think you're more tired than is natural for your age, activity levels etc? If so, maybe get checked to see if you're anaemic or similar?

Have you noticed a pattern regarding what you eat - like you feel livelier if you have protein for breakfast etc?

I’d rather get the jobs done before I relax. I can’t settle until the jobs I want to do that day are done but then I’m very organised which is just me I suppose x

I feel the same. Right now i am procrastinating about my laundry mountain. I have just had to replace my washing machine which doesn't help. At least i went to the shops for a few bits which i am counting as a small win.

Is it that you don’t want to do want to do stuff or is it that you are in “task paralysis”.

I have ADHD and I will literally sit still and manically think about a task/tasks that I have to do but genuinely be unable to initiate them. Instead, I’ll sit there thinking about the fact that I should do it and berate myself over the fact I’m not doing it. I’ll tell myself that I’m an awful person who is just lazy and just not as good as everybody else, and the reason I’m not doing XYZ is because I’m selfish all I just don’t care about the impact other people in my life (tidying the house, doing errands, replying to messages etc). I’m sure there are plenty of people who believe this is just a normal experience, but I don’t believe it is. I’m now medicated which does make a big difference, but it’s not an overnight fix.

Here’s another perspective for you OP: I am very bad at ‘allowing’ myself to rest/do nothing (productive) until everything on my to do list is ticked off. The truth is, there will ALWAYS be more things on the to do list, and I am actively working on gaining the mindset that “now, I choose to rest” (or faff about doing nothing in particular). Are the essentials getting done? - it sounds like it. So hats off to you, for resting on days off when it’s just you. They, after all, a day off.

People often say i could have written this post but I was genuinely thinking this yesterday. I just want to hide, do nothing and be left alone (or play on my phone at which point I thought, don't put it on AIBU, People will just call you lazy and you probably are!)

This is me, too. In my case l've always been like this - l can't get motivated until l'm staring at a deadline and sometimes not even then! I really annoy myself but l'm fairly resigned to it now. I'm on here for moral support and in the hope someone has a magic bullet type solution.
I agree with the suggestion that doing one small task then having a nice rest is the way to go - l'm going to have a cup of tea and then l'll definitely get started ...