To wonder what is wrong with me? Why can’t I get anything done?

[ClearyMe]

Happy to hear I’m just totally lazy and that’s the problem. I feel like that must be true!

Whenever I have a day off, when it’s just me, I will literally get nothing done. It’s like really severe procrastination. I don’t live in a tip, I will eventually do jobs, but it’s hard for me to start anything.

Im not depressed, I don’t think. I just want to rest. I want to shut myself away and do nothing. I don’t know why and I know it’s not good for me. I feel rubbish afterwards. I don’t mind being called lazy, but please be kind. I do want to change. I feel like I get completely overwhelmed by the thought of tasks. When I’m at work, I’m not lazy in the slightest. I’m always busy. I just can’t seem to be like this without the pressure of a work environment. How do I change? Grateful for any constructive advice.

When this happens to me I just set myself one job ie bathroom , tidying my bedroom or vaccum one room ! Then I feel entitled to do nothing for the rest of the day . I'm retired so don't do a millionth of what you do with a job and kids .

It does sound like ADHD to me. I was diagnosed at 41 and thats exactly how my brain feels.

I'm exactly the same!
I'm retired (so no excuse about not having time!) and l desperately want to move (to sheltered housing) about an hour's drive from where l live now.
l've been planning this for over two years and l daren't even register because l have so much to sort out here and l'm overwhelmed.
I'm not a hoarder, but l've been here over ten years and l have a lot of 'stuff.'
It's not junk or rubbish, and l have sold a few things on eBay and taken (what felt like) quite a bit to the local charity shops but l still have loads.
It's highly unlikely to happen, but l'm actually scared to register interest in case they offer me something soon and l'm not ready.
I don't have anyone to help, l just need some motivation!
I've honestly no idea why l do this. I've always been a procrastinator but this is really annoying me.

Sometimes rest is needed

I’m the same.

I agree with this.

I am very lazy in general atm and largely put it down to the time of year. I’m sleeping a lot and doing bare minimum around the house. Very little energy.

I honestly think it’s atavistic and in cavewomen times we’d have been hibernating! I try to listen to my body and give myself a break.

We don’t need to be busy all the time. The importance of being idle and all that.

Have you checked your iron levels recently? I was the same; I was iron deficient. My dr prescribed an infusion and a couple of weeks later I was like a machine and getting stuff done in a day that before would have taken me weeks!

You have ADHD

You are not alone. I am retired now, and honestly I got so much more done when full time working, juggling family and elderly parents, keeping on top of house stuff and so on than I do now.

I keep thinking, oh I have tomorrow, it's cold out, the weather is miserable, and every bloody excuse under the sun NOT to do something.

But at the end of the day, it's not vital to clean out a cupboard, or sort the sock drawer, or any of those horrible boring jobs that most people are not motivated to do anyway.

The big jobs get done and that's the main thing.

Winter is not a time to be full of the joys and fully motivated. Many animals hibernate. I know I'm inclined to, and I reckon it's normal enough to be like that!

Nightmare. I’d hate that. Nothing like a lazy lounge morning or afternoon.

I am baffled as why you would want to do something? You say your house is clean, so what do you think should be done? If it is not an unavoidable chore why feel guilty about it? Who is judging you apart from you? Are you rested after your day off? If yes, good that is the point if no, you need to chill and have more guilt free days off.

This is your body telling you that you need to rest. Burn out is real, and it sounds as though you are at a point that it’s affecting you physically.

When you are in work are you functioning as normal? Or does the task overwhelm happen there too?

I’ve recently had an ADHD assessment due to symptoms same as yours plus other factors. I don’t have it as the clinician stated the symptoms weren’t present in childhood, although I don’t agree with this.

I’ve looked into supplements that could help
with brain fog and fatigue.

Might be worth a GP appointment if you feel
you may be depressed.

It sounds totally normal to not be motivated to get anything done on your day off. Especially if you work hard all week. Maybe listen to your body and allow yourself a day of rest. Needing to stay still and relax and not do loads of jobs all day doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you

You don’t mention your age but I’m stunned nobody thus far has mentioned the menopause. I was like this for about 8 years. Now I feel my energy & enthusiasm returning. (gradually). Looking back I think I was slightly depressed so beating yourself up about it is unhelpful.

I'm exactly the same. It's normal human behaviour, but made worse these days by the distractions of the internet, social media etc.

Have you always felt like this? Or has it started more recently?

I do think modern life sets up false perceptions. We see everyone else on social media doing stuff and forget they’re only doing one thing at a time each!

Rest is important. In olden days, Sunday was the day of rest. No shops open, no rushing to places. We don’t do that now. We fill our days endlessly!

However! I am late diagnosed with ADHD. I used to struggle hugely with procrastination. I’d sit for hours, unable to do almost anything, even though I wanted to! Getting diagnosed and starting on meds made me realise how much I struggled without them!

I’d say of you lead a busy life, it’s okay to allocate yourself some rest time. However, if this has massively impacted on your life for all of your life - late to appointments, struggling to meet deadlines, living in chaos, then consider if you might have ADHD.

Sorry I don't have advice but I could have written this post. I have so much I really want to do and absolutely no motivation to do it. Like I finished work today, have loads I could be doing and where am I? Sat on the sofa trawling through posts on musnet 😂

At least the tea is in the slow cooker so thats my small win of the day

BTW when it comes to work I am also not lazy and really quite organised

I am the same, busy at work and would happily spend days off reading and scrolling! Feel guilty that I should be making every moment count.Think it was brainwashing from an early age. I just hope one day the guilt will go away!!

I used to be like this - now I demand my own space, give boundaries, and have an hour to myself morning, sometimes noon, and night. Semi retired and can be sociable, but need downtime and only one appointment/ deadline per day. It's taken me over 50 years to realise and instigate this.

@katseyes7 It can be overwhelming and terrifying when you look at all you might have to do for your move in a short time. So from my perch on the couch, doing nothing, covered in my heated blanket, I'll throw out a few things that might help, and might take the immediacy out of the picture for you.

Would you consider renting a big storage locker somewhere, then you could just fling all the important stuff in there, without having to sort through it first. You can go to the storage place anytime you want and go through the stuff at your leisure. It's out of your present house in the meantime! I think I'd do something like that to stop me fretting and looking at everything in the house that might need sorting or moving right now.

If you could do something like that, then immediately register for the sheltered home. It's unlikely to happen overnight, but even if it did, all you'd have to do is move your furniture, white goods, clothes and essential items etc. on the moving day. The rest you can sort at your leisure at the storage point, and either dump, sell, or take to your new home.

Just make some sort of plan tonight. Even if you don't do it for another few weeks, at least you know you're on the way!

Good luck, and I hope I haven't been too interfering or bossy 😊

Set small tasks each day. Plan them in to your time and you are more likely to do them.
Nothing massive as it’s too overwhelming and then you’ll avoid it .

Same for me. I have to set myself a timer for e.g. loading the dishwasher and tidying the kitchen. Otherwise I wouldn't do it.

There is nothing wrong with rest.

Our culture demands productivity constantly. It feels alien to do nothing. You are not doing nothing. You are at rest.

It’s not wrong to be still. You do not need permission.

Your body is tired, it isn’t a day off at all, it is a day for finding the strength to sort out the house, it isn’t always there.
Do an extra 20 minutes each evening so you can enjoy your day off to relax.

I've been like this for as long as I can remember, then it gets to 20 minutes before I need to leave the house and I will literally race through all the jobs I need to do like some sort of mad woman. It is annoying as hell but I've pretty much accepted this is just what I'm like.