When was the last time you were truly happy?

[Satsumastangerinesorclementines]

As above

Most days. This morning when a friend said something lovely about my son.

Yesterday. I am happy for brief periods most days.

Aside from times of tragedy and external stress, I think we are about as happy as we decide to be. I realised that in my thirties and worked hard to change my mindset to actively seek the happy things in everyday life.

It's a very rewarding habit to develop.

1980’s when my beloved Grandma was alive.she brought me up as my mum always worked/mum dad split up.i miss her so.

June 2014 going into first half of 2015. Bought our first house next door to our best friends and felt so happy and free and grown up. That was followed by miscarriages, stillbirth and a load of other shit from end of 2015 onwards.
Life isn’t unhappy now, and we are parents which is great, but that brings a whole other level of anxiety. That year 2014-2015 was the best. I loved it

Probably almost two years ago at The Eras Tour. That was such a boost.

I tolerate most days and try to get through to 8pm and bed. I've even been weepy while running which is a pretty bad way to be 😬.

I cant remember the last time in years that I had a genuinely happy or joyous moment, let alone felt happy for any prolonged ( ie hours) period of time. This includes my two weddings and the birth of my son. I remember a lot of worry and not much joy around all three of those events.

Joy and happiness is just not part of my gentic make up it seems to me. I bumble along without thinking about it too much if I can help it though. Dwelling on it really does not help in any way but as I have aged, I have stopped lying about it if asked
. I used to lie all the time and say I was happy when I really was not. I don't do that any more

I live life in a state of numbness or anxiety most of the time, tipping into misery reasonably often. Thanks for asking though

I had a glorious year in 2000 which nothing will ever be able to touch. Like something from a dream! I'm too much of a worrier really to be that happy day-to-day, but I'm happy with that.

I had a wonderful big birthday a decade ago - went away somewhere very beautiful with a group of close friends, new and old, and had a great time. I’d just had some significant career success (literally a week before), and everything felt perfect. My kids were still pretty young and my marriage to DH was happy and stable.

Fast forward a decade - I feel so much older. The career success wasn’t what it was cracked up to be, menopause hit quite hard, various people died, money worries - the usual midlife shitshow. Marriage has been rocky for a variety of reasons.

My kids are still amazing, though one of them developed a health issue which causes me constant anxiety 😥

A long time ago. I knew it wouldn’t last. I was always aware that those moments were precious and that we can’t hold on, that nothing is forever. But I remember.

Summer of 2006 when Italy won the World Cup 🇮🇹 Truly one of the happiest moments of my life that I always look back on

At the gym, I go 7 days a week. My normal feeling is happy to be honest.

It will get better, I promise.

Now. I’m happy all the time. Even during ‘bad’ days. Sometimes I have some frustrations or anxieties that get in the way but only superficially

Childhood

More content than happy last year when me and dh did a crazily luxury safari for the first time.. walked onto our terrace when we arrived and, as if on cue, a family of elephants with calves walked right past us. I was mesmerised.

During covid and the year following.

I much preferred the slower less stressful life style and valued the time i got to spend with my family.

Now, I'm lying on the sofa eating an enormous Easter egg. I'm very very easily pleased.

I could have written this post. I've also been propelled into a state of extreme mindfulness. No choice!
Do you meditate?

Overall I have times in most days when I am happy.

But I also feel tense and stressed every day too. So it's hard to answer.

I was much happier during lockdown...

This evening. We’ve had a stressful couple of years with our living situation, needing to move out of our storm damaged flat while I was pregnant, rented accommodation for a year during which I had our son, and then back into our tiny one bedroom flat while we desperately tried to sell it and our baby just got bigger and bigger. We finally moved 10 days ago and I stood painting DS’s new bedroom tonight, looked out into OUR garden with OUR very own washing line (a big deal after 6 years of a shared drying area down 3 floors & through the car park) and I can’t believe we’ve finally got our dream home. 2 years of constant stress gone and I couldn’t be happier ❤️

Now I want to know what it is!

Today when one DC ran to choose a bedtime story while the other bounced on the bed. I had such a rush of love for how sweet they are, so excited by small things. Just before sleep we talk about our best parts of the day and that was mine. Eldest DC’s was eating Easter egg. Youngest is too small to tell us!

UPDATE: at the allotment the other day! Digging over the beds in the glorious sunshine. Two robins were keeping me company all afternoon and one of them landed on my knee for a bit when i was sitting down! How does life get any better than that?!

I think you are only truly happy when you don't realise it, when you're lost or carried away in the moment. Once consciousness comes into it, it spoils the moment.

Lots of poets/novelists have written about this state of happiness which is mostly experienced in childhood - but we can still recapture it as adults, but not very often!

Thomas Hardy's poem 'The Self-Unseeing' is about this. You only realise how happy you were in retrospect.