To ask if you clean your home before having guests?

[TheHoneyPot]

As title really. In the last few months, we’ve stayed with two sets of friends for the weekend ( I should add both these sets of friends have stayed with us plenty of times over the years) the latest ones this weekend and for the second time in a row, I’m not trying to be horrible, but there was really grotty bathrooms and carpets that crunched under foot everywhere, hardfloors covered in dog hair and just bits etc.

I’m now starting to think I need to lower my standards when we have guests because I spend a good couple of hours making sure the house is tidy and hoovered, the bathrooms are all clean and that the bedsheets are changed/ fresh. I thought this was ‘normal’ but after this weekend I’m wondering whether I’m just anal/ abnormal?!

Yes thoroughly

I can distinctly recall walking on my former MIL floor and having rice stuck to the bottom of my foot and getting into the guest bed at cousins of former DH and there were cookies and crackers bits in it. The “no one ever uses
guest bed” well they may not sleep in it but they eat in it. It was typical of the hosts to not really put any effort into hosting or checking the bedding was clean.

100%. There is a cleanish house, then there is visitor clean. I would never have people to stay and not ensure everything is clean. Bathrooms especially so.

Always. Even if it’s just a quick tidy of things. Mostly though I would dust, hoover and tidy, clean the downstairs toilet etc. If I had someone staying, the whole house wld need to be clean top to bottom!

I don’t think u need to lower ur standards I think they need to up theirs. That’s grim, I wouldn’t want to stay again.

And you’re entitled to feel how you feel. I was simply pointing out that you can feel something inside, discuss with your husband and agree not to stay again.

Or you can post about it on a popular forum for parents where, whilst they may not read it or self identify - they might. Most families dont stay at friends houses and you’ve identified you’re close friends, they’re dirty and you’ve recently stayed elsewhere - all of which may make them think “ah, that’s about us!”.

It’s just about knowing what’s best to keep to yourself and what’s worth airing. True friendships are hard to find, I don’t think a little mess and dirt should get in the way of it, just don’t stay again.

If there's one lesson I learnt from lockdown, it's that I only clean when I'm expecting visitors. I didn't dust for weeks on end when it was just us. It was kind of embarrassing.

Yes I always clean before I have people round. I have a few lovely friends who don’t and their houses are grim. I avoid going over and definitely never sleep there. I don’t understand how people host but don’t clean. I would be so embarrassed.

Yes, I do. I see it as welcoming and respectful. We stayed once with a lovely friend whose kitchen floor was so sticky the dog's bed stuck to it!

I’m of the same mindset.

We have two late teens and two cats, so a bit easier to clean than with toddlers and dogs.

I remember we once went for dinner at a couple’s house and I was a bit offended that she hadn’t bothered to put makeup on or dress beyond super-casual for the evening.

Either way, it’s about having the manners to show you’ve made a bit of an effort to welcome people into your home.

@Nourishinghandcreamwhy do you not use your living room? Just curious.

@ComedyGuns
Very good question.

There are just the two of us here most of the time (and Ddogs of course😆) and we are all very comfortable in the kitchen cum family room.
Easier if we want to relax with a cuppa, sprawl over the sofa, watch TV, flop down after some brisk dog walking (i.e. damp dogs) etc.

The living room is really only used when we have guests as it is just a duplicate of the family room but with more (and newer) furniture. Generally a bit more "posh"😁.
We also put the Christmas tree in there (which is a shame as we are hardly in there to see it).

Of course, to spotless. Then apologise for the mess
standard isn’t it?

Although I admit my carpets do crunch occasionally… the cat insists on dragging cat litter everywhere so I’m constantly hoovering

My DH can be a really, really difficult person, but when it comes to housework, particularly when guests are coming, he’s phenomenal. I do think this comes from him being rather OCD than from kindness towards me though ( his mum was a neurotic clean-freak).

Oh gosh yes, forgot this standard from the 70s lol!

As most of us do, we keep the house clean on an on-going basis so it would never get to the sticky carpet stage 🤢

But absolutely yes, we still clean (more put away any cluttery bits that might build up) before guests. Bed sheets are changed and bedrooms that people will be staying in are given another going over.

I would make sure bathrooms are clean .. fresh beds.. clean floors and surfaces but I live like that anyways.

I presume these people are good friends you have known a long while if you are staying at their house and they have stayed at yours?

If so, what has their house- toilet/kitchen/carpets been like every other time you have visited them over the years?

It's odd that this comes as a surprise to you. Are the people whose houses are otherwise fine and you had never noticed a dirty toilet or carpet and this is totally out of character? Or is their house always grubby in which case...why would you be surprised?!

I feel for you Op. I’ve had this happen to us and even ended up doing the cleaning (and not on only one occasion). I didn’t mind the first couple of times as I’ll help anyone who’s in overwhelm but since being told we weren’t doing it properly I’ve declined further invites and gone NC

That’s disgusting! 🤢 I’d be really uncomfortable staying somewhere that dirty, especially with young children. I would’ve made my excuses and left.

My house is always pretty clean and tidy (2 kids) as we put the work in to keep it that way but if guests are coming, I like it to be immaculate. I’d never let anyone come over unless it was spotless.

My house is a shit tip but if having guests I do change sheets (though normally they are changed after last guest left so no need to do), clean loo and tidy as much as I can manage. Partner hoovers.

Always have a good tidy and clean up before guests and provide clean sheets and towels,which I've always considered the norm. Xx