To ask if you clean your home before having guests?

[TheHoneyPot]

As title really. In the last few months, we’ve stayed with two sets of friends for the weekend ( I should add both these sets of friends have stayed with us plenty of times over the years) the latest ones this weekend and for the second time in a row, I’m not trying to be horrible, but there was really grotty bathrooms and carpets that crunched under foot everywhere, hardfloors covered in dog hair and just bits etc.

I’m now starting to think I need to lower my standards when we have guests because I spend a good couple of hours making sure the house is tidy and hoovered, the bathrooms are all clean and that the bedsheets are changed/ fresh. I thought this was ‘normal’ but after this weekend I’m wondering whether I’m just anal/ abnormal?!

Course I do. I should imagine most people do, unless they live in a show home 24/7.

We know the loveliest couple who live in a filthy house. They are wonderful hosts, always have brilliant food and drink available and they’re so much fun to be around - they just don’t care about a clean house. I only stayed once, now we stay at a local hotel if we go to theirs. We’ve never outwardly said why but I’m sure they know and really aren’t bothered. I am in complete awe about how relaxed they are about their house, it must be so liberating!

Not really. My house is not a showroom by any stretch of imagination but I don't feel it needs scrubbing before visitors either. My friends come to see me, not assess whether my toilets are sterile.
I don't expect them to do any cleaning on my behalf either. In fact, it's become a bit of a humorous tradition that the first thing I do at one of my friend's houses is her washing up.

Don’t lower your standards. Other people should raise theirs. I think it’s rude not to prepare your house before guests arrive.

I do panic clean (and we have a cleaner!) but I actually love it when I have friends with messy houses because I find myself so caught up in the stress of working FT with young kids and keeping the house clean. So their very ‘normal’ feels like trusting me and letting me into the real life stuff not just people you keep at a distance.

Yes definitely clean and tidy before guests come (and I’m someone who tries to get away with as minimal tidying and cleaning as possible on a day to day basis).

No. It's always clean and tidy.

I’m a manic guest-preparer - I can’t relax unless everything is clean and cosy and welcoming. Which is the same for almost all our family and friends other than one couple, who are lovely but very relaxed about hygiene (and everything else). Filthy kitchen, crunchy carpets, pet hair in the beds, no handwashing after the loo (whatever the deposit), then straight into cooking dinner 🤮.

I have to switch off my ick-brain when we’re there and have swerved staying over for years now. They’re lifelong mates though, so I know it’s not because they’re making no effort for us, it’s just the way they are.

Did you stay over? Was the bedding clean?

I always have a manic clean of kitchen and bathroom before people coming. They are usually pretty clean so doesn’t take long

there might be some clean laundry on the living room table if we aren’t going ti be using it

I’m now starting to think I need to lower my standards when we have guests because I spend a good couple of hours making sure the house is tidy and hoovered, the bathrooms are all clean and that the bedsheets are changed/ fresh.

I voted YABU for this pile ^^ 🤣🤣

I don't believe you're thinking that at all.

You'd be unreasonable to lower your standards because of other people's crunchy carpets.

Definitely clean bedding, bedrooms and bathrooms. I’d personally make sure kitchen and lounge were clean. We have a dog so I can’t guarantee there won’t be dog hair lingering somewhere.

To be honest, hosting was far too much effort so we’ve stopped now.

I wouldn’t really judge a messy house. Some people are just messy. They should cook for you at least one night and the bare minimum would be clean bedding and towels. A bit of a scruffy, lived in house (with marks on the light switches!!) wouldn’t bother me.

To be honest if people are judging the odd bit of marked paintwork etc then I’m glad I don’t host anymore and this is why!

Just meet for lunch halfway.

I dont invite overnight guests. If someone comes around for a meal or a few hours they take the place as they find it as housework is not a priority for me. I do have a cleaner but if its not one of her days too bad.

I was exactly the same as a tenant. I never tidied up for inspections and always told them that my standard of housekeeping and possessions were none of their business.

I hoover throughout everyday, wipe the toilets down, kitchen is always clean. If guests stay over that would be DH office so would need to make the sofa bed up

When I’m on my own I don’t vacuum that much and yea standards can drop, but I wouldn’t dream of having guests without making sure the bathrooms were clean, carpets vacuumed, kitchen spotless etc. I think it’s fine to be ‘this is the way we live’ with a bit of mess, but not dirty. Toys scattered about? Fine. Crunchy carpets? Yuck.

yep I do. if someone rings to say oh we paying if your free for tea. both me and my husband are like the energizer bunny going around. house is pretty clean mostly however we have pets and it's a working stable farm house too so parts get manky pretty quick. cleaner here every 2 weeks.
we had similar but not stayed at my sis in law house Xmas day could here the crunching under my feet as walked into living room. helped tidy up after dinner and opened the cup board under sink looking for spray shelfs were manky and full of stuff thrown anywhere. she a good cook but house is filthy plus has mindset boys don't need to clean so her two early 20s sons who still live at home don't have to do anything.
my husband says his home as a child was cleaned by cleaners his family wouldn't have the same standard as I was brought up though my own child home was the other extreme mother too focused on clean. so he has learned from me as well as I have learned from him. homes get dirty you need to do basic cleaning to keep places nice and clean
he is also a builder and says some houses are diabolical when be goes into them

Yes, I clean before we have visitors - not a huge deep clean, but dust, vacuum, clean the loos.

I mean they were filthy, like bits all in them so when you walked on them (I put my slippers on pronto) it was like they were crunching.

Now I'm no clean freak and consider myself a bit lazy on the housework front, but my house has never, ever, been as filthy as that.

I’m in no way a clean freak but I don’t think my carpets have ever “crunched” that’s grim!

But to answer your question yes I always clean before having guests

I dont know why people are so mortified about crunching, if you have children who ate ricecakes or snacks or toast as they walked around the house, or ate rice in the living room or crunchy leaves blown in from outside it's not hard for 1 day of missed vacuuming for something to crunch under feet.

If the carpets are crunching under foot they have a long term issue with cleaning rather than just not putting in extra effort before guests come.
I always clean before guests. I do it because being in other people dirt makes me feel really uncomfortable so I wouldn't want my guests to feel that way in my home.

I didn't read it as stepping in something crunchy. I read it as the whole carpet being crunchy from built up spills and dirt.

Maybe they’re just not in a good place to host staying guests at the moment. With young kids it’s so full on. I know that I’ve had periods where everything just feels too much. So the idea of cleaning and the cooking for people over a whole weekend would just be a nightmare. Leave it with the sleepovers for a while, meet in the middle for an afternoon or something.

Well, I’m perfectly happy to do that. Both times it was them pushing us to stay. Quite frankly with two young DC and a full on job, I’m not arsed about driving 4 hours to go sleep in other people’s houses, but both times it was them messaging ‘We still haven’t sorted meet ups, what about X weekend?’ With 6-8 weeks notice so not like it was sprung on them. I’m not overly keen on staying in other people’s houses at the best of times.

I think this thread had shown me that I wasn’t unreasonable to be a bit grossed out at grotty bathrooms and floors and that, really it’s probably polite to run a hoover around before hosting overnight guests.

Depends on who is visiting.

Carpets hoovered, kitchen and bathroom cleaned weekly, so unless it's the queen visiting I don't bother doing extra

Ah ok I see