Being intimate while kids are downstairs

[LuckyAmberShark]

Hi everyone!

DH came upstairs today while I was getting dressed and tried to initiate sex while our two boys were downstairs. Both are kids are neurodiverse, our 8yo has complex needs (attends a specialist school etc) and our 4yo
is on the pathway for autism/adhd/hyperactivity.

DH said they were happy and settled on their tablets and that we had some time. And that it was exciting with the threat of being caught. I felt uncomfortable with this, and told him I couldn’t relax and enjoy it so I declined. DH has been off with me all day since and is sulking and grunting when I talk to him.

AIBU? Or prudish? It just doesn’t feel right to me. If they were in bed asleep then great! But they could have hurt themselves? Or escaped out the front door?

Yes, this bit is disturbing

Ask him to describe, in detail, his excuse for each child's age when they come in and find you 'at it'. I'm with you, wouldn't be able to relax for a millisecond

Sulking is for under 18's only imo.

🤮 Why would be be excited by the thought of children catching him have sex? This is really concerning.

So long as the kids are safe, you have some time and the door is locked then it's fine.

I just couldn’t whilst they were both awake. That’s just me. I’m clearly a huge prude 😂

It is a well known fact on Mumsnet that no one "does the deed" between conception and the child leaving for university. Anything more risks permanently scaring your child. Second and later children are conceived by magic.

I take it your kids are young?! When they get to teenage years, they’re awake more than you are. If you didn’t have sex while they’re awake, you’d never have sex. Just don’t make it loud or horribly obvious what you’re doing and everything’s fine.

Have you read the thread? A number of posters have said they would have a quickie if in the mood in this situation. Before making sweeping generalisations it’s probably best to RTFT.

In the real world people have a variety of views but those with the strongest views shout the loudest.

Everything about his behaviour is disgusting

No, absolutely not. Having sex when the children are in bed, is one thing but when they're downstairs and could come up, no. Your husband is being childish. You are not being prudish either. There's a time and a place, and that wasn't it!

My son is 15, and usually my husband and I have sex at night or first thing in the morning.

Based on the title I was about to come on and say I don't see the big deal if the kids are downstairs and occupied, that's the best chance we tend to get and we just block the bedroom door with a bedside table just im case. But saying that it's exciting that they might catch you is fucking gross!

Yes 8 and 3. So maybe I’m the wrong demographic

I stick to the being caught by the kids thing totally disgusting

I wasn’t thinking it was particularly odd (like he said, kids were settled) until the said about being caught. That’s just weird.

I’m always nervous about the possibility of ever being walked on by DD and she’s a full fledged adult, let alone young children. It’s very unsettling.

Ew just no. He is disgusting.

Mine too. Gross.

If you wanted to you could have just closed the door and there was no chance of the kids walking in. If they knocked on the door then you'd stop...

Agreed. In what way would it be exciting being caught by a 4 yo? Urrgghh

A couple. The vast majority say otherwise. No need to post such ridiculous responses to what was obviously a lifehearted post.

It’s not unreasonable to have a quickie if the kids are downstairs and you are both up for it but it’s vile to be excited by the prospect of them catching you 🤮

I’m impressed your kids knock!

When I had just read the thread title I thought it’s fine but when I’ve then read the OP’s full post it’s not fine at all. I assume that’s what the post you’re responding to means.

Being caught by children????? Nothing would turn me off more. This is sick. You have bigger issues than a sulking husband. Who is a prick, by the way.

If my partner said that bit about it being exciting that the kids might catch us id never sleep with him again. And never leave him alone with my kids again. That’s disgusting.