To give up leading this community project

[mummymeister]

Long time Member and will try to keep this brief although its tricky not to out myself but here goes.

I live in a rural community and volunteer for an organisation which was very active with projects in the past but now as most of the board are over 75 they havent really got a clue or any energy to help and support (I am much younger)

I took on running a project which apparently had massive community support. I have spent the past 5 years getting planning permission, talking to all the local groups and organisations and generally just trying to bring everyone with me on the journey to make this a reality.

Its been an uphill struggle but what has kept me going is the thought that its principally aimed at young people, its something I have been told constantly everyone really wants and needs and that this is a community that wants to achieve something having failed on a number of other dissimilar projects in the past.

So we have launched the fundraising campaign (need to raise around 250K) and to say that the results have been disappointing is an absolute understatement.

• 100 people invited to the launch and only a handful bothered to email a response a few turned up on the night but not even all of my committee bothered
• Local community facebook group full of negativity every time I post about the project "it wont happen" "nothing every happens here" " why cant the council/Government pay for it" and on and on and on.

I have done this sort of thing before so I have written the letters, made the phone calls, knocked on the doors, had coffee with etc. Basically full time on this for the past 3 months filling in grant applications for piddling amounts of a couple of hundred quid, taking me hours and hours to do.

And I just keep being met with wall, after wall after wall. "kids in our area are underachievers and not worth spending the money on" "why cant someone else pay for it why do we have to fundraise" "dont like it, think it looks rubbish so wont support it" I could write a book.

The stress all of this is causing me is unreal. I am becoming so depressed. The worst of it is that I know if I fail the local gossip will be "oh look there is Mummymeister. she promised to deliver and failed, just like I said she would." in a small community, this is going to define me.

I just feel I cant stay here if this project fails. I have asked for help from my committee but they just arent up to it. I have tried getting a group together but again its just apathy and sometimes even aggression that I cant just magic the money out of thin air.

AIBU to just give it a couple of months more effort and if it looks like its not going to happen to just say fuck it and walk away? What would you do in my shoes?

Absolutely.
Cite health issues for stepping back.
Life is too short.
You tried.

Thank you. I do feel like this. what is holding me back is that I will lose massive face in a small community where reputations do matter. I know of people who deliberately built without planning permission 15 years ago and its still cited today whenever anyone talks about them. I just cannot stand the thought of being "that woman who failed" in my community for ever, I really cant. It all just feels so hopeless. I am early retired but up every morning working on this. Just feels so relentless and pointless at the moment.

That sounds hard. I know myself how hard it is to get people involved in voluntary projects.

I woukd ignore the Facebook comments as the demographic of FB is older and I.think a lot of the comments will be coming from people who are always negative and who are very unlikely to do anything actively to support something.

My main question would be, however: is this project actually wanted/needed? If yes, are there other ways to make it happen? If not, maybe it is time to call it a day? Especially as if you can't get support to set the project up, the probability is that you won't have people willing to be involved once it is up and running.

Lastly, I don't know what is typical/achievable for your area, but where I live trying to raise £250,000 from local sources (ie not charities/trusts etc) would be a huge challenge for a community project. Is this part of the problem?

Well done for taking this on. It is no shame to give up if something just isn't going to work but perhaps you need to assess if are you at that stage yet or if there are still things you could try.

We have similar in our community but probably need to raise double. I don't expect the woman who's leading it to achieve that, i just think well done to her for identifying the issue and for pushing the project in the right direction- now its up to everyone else to raise the money. Surely nobody expects you alone to raise the cash. To me you have identified the requirements and set it in motion. That is an achievement in itself and you should frame it as such.

@Redbushteaforme we arent trying to raise the whole amount from the community but in order to apply for the bigger grants from things like the National Lottery and other organisations we need first to show community support and buy in. so I was hoping to get maybe 80/100 people, businesses, groups show their support with a letter and maybe some money or an event. Then I can go to the big funds with a show of strength.

I would step back.

I got involved in something similar once. And I regret it massively. I should have stepped back long before I did.

@Newyearsameme26 thank you. I do see it as an achievement to have got this far. the planning permission was absolutely torturous and I called in lots of favours to get stuff done for free. I just know how I will be viewed and tbh I just spoke to my DH and said I feel like moving away as I couldnt stand the whispers. Cannot believe I took this on and took peoples word that once we had the planning permission they would all pile in and help out.

I wouldn’t even give it a couple of months. Give 4 weeks written notice now, giving the reason that you feel completely unsupported and the enormity of the project is impossible for you to deal with alone. Don’t blame yourself, you’ve worked so hard, cite the lack of practical support and lack of team players on the committee as the reason - which is the truth.

Call an urgent meeting for a few days time, asking if anyone wants to take over coordinating the project. Give a 72 hour window after the meeting for applicants to come forward. After that you can wind down the project or close the project. And deal with any necessary correspondence in the couple of weeks following OR train up the replacement.

hi there, it looks as though you’ve been going about it all in the most difficult way … for this type of project small fundraising efforts are only about raising awareness, for the larger amount and ongoing funding for running costs you could be looking at the lottery and other trusts and foundations. Or even local council.

is it not ideal for lottery bid? Can be more difficult to fundraising is you are in an affluent area.

do you gave a project name. Board members and bank account? Ah, see useless board. Get new members from local schools, the council, maybe Tesco community officer. They should be able to bring skills.

look online for a project similar to the one you are proposing and another area and meet with them, I’m sure they would love to share and maybe replicate.

you must prove that you can undertake the project

and, this may sound insane, but if you get the money you must be able to spend it .. my last employers got a bit grant to move premises, but there were no suitable premises available. Luckily the founder accepted the responsibility because the process took so long.

I would go in with a synopsis of the current state of play.

This project was run from x to y, it is for z and needs ABC funding to succeed.

Until now it has had the backing of D members however all have stepped away and even only E number of people attended a recent event.

So i have to take the message that this project is not wanted nor achieveable, and so I will not be working any more on this, you will all be pleased to hear.

@MeganM3 I am an unpaid volunteer as are the rest of the committee. There isnt anyone to train up and pass this on to. No one is going to apply to take this on because there is no money, its all voluntary community based. 30 years ago when I moved here, there were loads of community projects like this. all well supported. people turned out for the opening of an envelope and were falling over themselves to volunteer. Now, nothing. just negativity, apathy and aggression.

You're not the woman who failed @mummymeister
You're the woman who got a whole lot further than anyone else would have.
It's not on you that it was ultimately an impossible task.

I'm doing something similar on a much smaller scale and have come to the conclusion that the vast majority of people are arseholes!

I can understand your feelings completely.

I'm wondering if there is a way to go more to the groups this will be benefitting and those who work with them. If it's for young people maybe teachers, health visitors, social workers, businesses aimed at young people, kids clubs, kids sports teams, youth clubs, etc etc. Also any MPs that may appreciate the good publicity of working on a community project.

Try and build interest from the young people themselves and the people that work with them and will see the benefit of it?

Apologies if you've already tried this. It sounds very disheartening hearing all the negativity on FB but I find that's true of most things on there. People rarely seem to comment positively on it I've noticed!

If you do step back then please try to remember that other people's opinions of you do not matter!

@Tumbler2121 National lottery bids all ask the same first question: what is the community buy in and how much match funding do you have? If I apply with neither of these then we wont even get a look in. Business funding is still available for certain industries. Community funding went with the EU.

@Shedmistress yep. I think you could be right. I would do this if I didnt still have to live here.

In my experience, letters of support are the most important thing and you can arrange these by contacting groups etc directly, outlining the benefits, telling them what you need them to say, then asking them to email you back.You could also do a survey of project users which would hopefully demonstrate support.

If a funder needs a certain percentage of funding from the community, this can often be 'in-kind' eg estimated volunteer hours, free use of a local venue etc, in-kind support by paid staff of local organisation etc.

All the above is much easier to arrange than trying to raise money locally before any money from funders has been offered.

@Porwrp the trouble is that all the other local organisations - football club, scouts, guides, watersports, rugby etc all have their own ongoing fundraising and just dont want to be bothered. The school is bottom of the county league table for exam results and value added, literally bottom and the head and staff completely demoralised trying to turn it around so they just dont have the space either. they say the right words but when you ask stuff like can I put up a display or come along to an open day with our stand etc, they just dont reply. Local round table, ladies circle, lions club and that sort of thing just so, so negative when previously I spoke with them and they were right behind it. Now it comes to helping support with events, money and letters they just ignore me.

I have second hand knowledge of this area and given you managed to get the project through a major milestone by getting planning permission you can seriously pat yourself on the back. I would say that without community support that as a quantifiable £ amount, raised by your community then serious lottery funding is unlikely to be approved. I would step back and loudly confirm that sadly the community support just isn't there to take things further at this point. Sad face.

@Redbushteaforme I cant even get them to write letters of support. I just get oh not really our sort of thing, not going to be of any benefit to us, cant see why you are bothering with such thick kids, they dont deserve it and so on. I stood in front of these groups not 18 months ago, enthusiastic, committed, wanting to help and now its just embarassing. I keep trying to find out what has changed and cant get any answer. Too many in my community think "someone else needs to pay for it, write the letters etc" who is that someone else? where is the magic money tree?

I have written bids for funding before so know exactly what they want and are looking for and despite assurances that this is what I would get now, its nothing.

I just keep blaming myself. have i had some sort of charisma bi pass? have I upset someone?

I work in community development and it's far harder than it used to be. Funding is tight, so you need to focus on how you will support hard to reach groups. For example areas of multiple deprivation or projects working with children wirh disabilities or out of education are often priorities.

Finding volunteers is also much harder than it used to be because more families have both parents working full time. That reduces the pool of working age mums that used to often help, but also many grandparents are now doing childcare too.

I would consider changing focus and looking for funding for a development officer type role to take over the project. The large lottery grants can do this as part of multi year funding. This would then allow you to step back. It's worked very successfully where I am for similar capital projects.

Also when seeking support from groups you need to make it clear what the benefits are to them. So instead of saying we need a letter of support, ask how they feel you could work together. What would they like to see happen in the building/project? What gaps in provision do they need filled and how can you work together to achieve that?

This is a great way to word it

Thank you @sunshine244 the other problem with this project is timescales. The site is only available for the next 12 months. if we dont succeed in raising the funding by then its going to be withdrawn. as i said this community has a history of promising but never delivering and the site owner is fully aware of this hence the limited time offer. I am going back to them to get them to extend the limit but again would have much more success if there was community buy in.

I wish I had never started it now.

Such a hard unappreciated task you've taken on . I had similar where older members of community approached me as a younger person to help with gaining funding for community facilities again aimed mostly at young kids . The demographic mix at the time was very much older people with a long history of volunteering so apart from me very few others that were asked came on board . It did eventually fizzle out and I felt so bad for the individuals who had wanted to leave a legacy for the future .

Well new estates built , influx of families and people with great skills took up the project . Now a commendable asset to the village and hold up as an example to other places. But the original committee all passed away before they saw this happen . I asked for a small plaque to commerate their initiative which their families appreciated.

Gosh didn't mean to imply that it will be done after you're dead ! Just to show that these things can slow down and falter before getting some momentum . It is nothing to do with you personally as you can't be expected to do it alone . Even one other active person could make such a difference.

You are not alone. After throwing myself into some local projects I am now backing away sharply.

Do it anyway, get your side out there and front it out.Drop the rope as they say.