To give up leading this community project

[mummymeister]

Long time Member and will try to keep this brief although its tricky not to out myself but here goes.

I live in a rural community and volunteer for an organisation which was very active with projects in the past but now as most of the board are over 75 they havent really got a clue or any energy to help and support (I am much younger)

I took on running a project which apparently had massive community support. I have spent the past 5 years getting planning permission, talking to all the local groups and organisations and generally just trying to bring everyone with me on the journey to make this a reality.

Its been an uphill struggle but what has kept me going is the thought that its principally aimed at young people, its something I have been told constantly everyone really wants and needs and that this is a community that wants to achieve something having failed on a number of other dissimilar projects in the past.

So we have launched the fundraising campaign (need to raise around 250K) and to say that the results have been disappointing is an absolute understatement.

• 100 people invited to the launch and only a handful bothered to email a response a few turned up on the night but not even all of my committee bothered
• Local community facebook group full of negativity every time I post about the project "it wont happen" "nothing every happens here" " why cant the council/Government pay for it" and on and on and on.

I have done this sort of thing before so I have written the letters, made the phone calls, knocked on the doors, had coffee with etc. Basically full time on this for the past 3 months filling in grant applications for piddling amounts of a couple of hundred quid, taking me hours and hours to do.

And I just keep being met with wall, after wall after wall. "kids in our area are underachievers and not worth spending the money on" "why cant someone else pay for it why do we have to fundraise" "dont like it, think it looks rubbish so wont support it" I could write a book.

The stress all of this is causing me is unreal. I am becoming so depressed. The worst of it is that I know if I fail the local gossip will be "oh look there is Mummymeister. she promised to deliver and failed, just like I said she would." in a small community, this is going to define me.

I just feel I cant stay here if this project fails. I have asked for help from my committee but they just arent up to it. I have tried getting a group together but again its just apathy and sometimes even aggression that I cant just magic the money out of thin air.

AIBU to just give it a couple of months more effort and if it looks like its not going to happen to just say fuck it and walk away? What would you do in my shoes?

Too many in my community think "someone else needs to pay for it, write the letters etc" ...

I've been involved in voluntary activities most of my life and learned that, when faced with the above, there's absolutely nothing to be done unless you somehow enjoy bashing your head on brick walls

Clearly you need to withdraw ( and tell them why) but don't worry too much about what will be said - you won't change the minds of those to whom it's always "someone else's job" and they'll carry on as they wish regardless

I think I would be looking to move just from the sheer amount of negativity that seems to exist OP. We once moved to a lovely harbour village and were delighted to find a community hall with all sorts going on. A real showstopper with showers, kitchen and outside space/ games courts.
Couldn't believe the amount of locals who refused to set foot inside & were happy to deprive their kids of all fun, games & clubs because incomers had fund raised/made it happen

@mummymeister please don't blame yourself for any of this

You say "I keep trying to find out what has changed and cant get any answer."

The answer is that people have changed. I did voluntary work when I was younger in an outer part of London. It pretty much fell apart during lockdown.

And then I moved to where I am now, which is where my parents have lived for ages, and loads of things had to close for the same reason.

It's not just about money - they can't get anyone to participate anymore, even in simple things. I think people are basically sat at home glued to the Internet.

My experience with volunteer work was that there are always people who reap the benefits while complaining "they should do it a different way". I stopped volunteering partly for that.

anyway, I would drop it immediately, state change of circumstances, and try to imply that it's a health matter.

I really take my hat off to people who do anything but I'm not sure if I'll be doing it again either. There have always been ungrateful people. But it seems to be much worse now.

And this!

I think that you have to think like a politician. It's all about how you frame the narrative.
Say that you have spent 5 years getting the planning permission. It was a major achievement. Well done me. Etc, etc.
Unfortunately, the next bit is outside of your skillset so you are (publicly, loudly) stepping aside to let somebody else do it, somebody who understands how the next bit works.
If nobody stands up then obviously nobody in the community can do it. Not just you, nobody. So the community has no right to point the finger at you. You handed over the magnificent achievement, gave plenty notice and they failed to take it forward.
Get in first: blame them before they blame you!