To think we should put a stop to terms like 'toxic', 'narcissistic', 'gaslighting'...

[justalittlethought]

..'safe space', 'boundaries'.

These words were not widely used before 2014/15 (in the way we use them so liberally now), peaking - I'm guessing - around 2020/2022?

Guess what - basically mirroring the Tik Tok, Social Media / Influencer boom.

I'm thoroughly fed up with people using these terms.

Also, people using sociopath and psychopath willy-nilly. These used to be terms used by psychologists/psychiatrists about individual who had some level of formal diagnosis using the DSM-IV.

I'm sorry if people didn't realise I was slightly tongue-in-cheek for effect with 'banning' but, yes, I think the words are being used far too widely to have any real meaning anymore.

I still stand by that I don't think labels are useful.

I much prefer that someone says I'm shy than, I have a social-anxiety disorder. Or I feel anxious instead of I have an anxiety order.

It's that fixed mindset I think is a real problem today and amongst some of the younger generations. Again, they're so black and white it's almost like going backwards.

They are not terms l use, but how on earth are you going to put a stop to them?

Exactly.

These pseudo-psychiatric terms (‘pseudo’ in the mouths of amateur diagnosers) don’t help the few genuine cases and just obscure the truth about the vast bulk of everyday behaviour.

I agree with you but think problem isn’t the word it’s the behaviour.

It feels like we’ve reached a point where how someone feels matters more than what’s actually happening. Feelings are treated as proof, and resilience is presented as self harm. The system has ended up rewarding people for stepping back rather than helping them get back on their feet. Meanwhile, anyone who is resilient or does get back up is brushed off as just being 'lucky', conveniently ignoring the hard work and effort it took/is taking.

When relying on other people’s money or support becomes normalised - and even encouraged - as the first stop, there’s not going to be much motivation to take responsibility or try to move forward.

We do need compassionate support system for those who cannot push through or who are on the edge but the figures don't lie - the current system is broken. More importantly, it's unsustainable.

I'm thoroughly fed up with people using these terms.
fair enough, but can't police what other people use.

"Psychopath" is used widely, the song ^sweet but psycho" was everywhere at one point, I don't think anyone expects it to be the description of an actual clinical diagnosis.

It's like people using the term "OCD" it might irritate some, but it's still going strong for behaviours that are not actual OCD

People know it's not an accurate description, the same way most women will keep using the word vagina - they know technically it's vulva, but they want to stick with vagina. Everyone understands perfectly what they mean, so who cares? I mean it might irritate some, but most people won't care.

It's marginally irritating when people use clinical words to make themselves look more important, but just ignore.

Calling people a psycho dates back at least to my own childhood in the 90s.

As for noticing traits, it might be only a psychiatrist who can formally diagnose but it's not complicated to be able to recognise traits of narcissism or many other disorders. We can all access to DSM quite easily. I think I only know one true narcissist, and reframing her behaviour in this way helps me to deal with the destruction she causes and avoid getting sucked into her drama triangles. "Diagnosing" her in this way only affects my response to her behaviour, it doesn't involve me "treating" her in any way.

I take anyone saying their ex is a narcissist with a pinch of salt, as if they were all correct about 90% of the population would be narcissists. But if it helps people to process pain and avoid abuse then that's positive.

Toxicity is a very broad term and can apply to a wide range of unhealthy situations.

But only if you happen to be a psychologist or a psychiatrist, or if the person you are talking about has received a clinical diagnosis of one of those conditions.

It's really not.

It takes people about 15 seconds to notice if someone else is ND. They just generally process it as not liking that person but not being able to put their finger on why. I'd much prefer it if people could recognise that they have immediately taken against someone not because of their incredible instinct to identify someone with bad vibes but just because the subject of their dislike is autistic and they need to work on their prejudice.

Also recognising when someone's behaviour is narcissistic is very helpful in avoiding enabling.

That’s absolutely not the case. If people are making armchair diagnoses of else’s behaviour, they are just rehashing half-understood magazine pop psychology and memes to try to make something sound objective and more serious.

Mostly ‘she’s narcissistic’ means ‘she’s not nice to me’, nothing more.

I’ve got a friend who’s very keen on describing every failed past relationship as having been ‘toxic’. When I ask what happened in the relationships - and she’s always eager to tell - it turns out to be that her and the bloke didn’t get on, or she thought the boyfriend was selfish and inattentive.

Since ‘toxic’ would include criminal level coercion, control or violence it’s a very misleading way to talk about unsuccessful relationships.

With the rise of these terms has come a rise of women recognising their partners are abusive, display red flags, or are just not good enough.

I do understand what you mean, but it’s not entirely negative.

Some people might use it that way, others might be making a decision after years of abuse from a family member. As I said further up, I know one person who I strongly suspect is a diagnosable narcissist and it's been quite freeing for me to be able to predict her behaviour and react accordingly. We are NC with her now and her previous tactics to get our attention are not working because we recognise them for what they are.