How does my ex know everything I do?!

[Solost92]

My ex was controlling and abusive. He went mad when I sold my car becuase he had a tracker on it. He has watched back dashcam recordings to spy on me.

He knew I was dating and where I'd been on dates.
He knew I was pregnant and what we were naming our child.
He knows my address despite me never giving him it.
He knows about a couples dating profile dp and I have on a private site you'd only see if you were also a member and matched with us. Which he wouldn't as a single male.

HOW?!
I've scanned my phone for malware. His phone number was connected to my Google account and there was a device I don't recognise that's been logged in since 2022. Could that have been him? I thought the early dating info he had was from the tracker. I thought someone had blabbed about the pregnancy. There could have been a slip up somewhere maybe on school paperwork for him to get my address. There's a chance, he or his friends stumbled across our profile amount the thousands there are completely coincidentally. But I really feel like it's too many if and buts and he could be spying on me.

It seems pretty clear he’s been able to access your emails. Why haven’t you logged out of the mystery device and changed your password?

I agree change ALL PASSWORDS And log out of all devices

If there's a device you don't recognise logged in since 2022. There's your answer

Log out of all devices. Change your passwords. Make sure they are properly strong ones, not the name of your pet cat. Check if you are sharing your location with him on anything. Turn on MFA.

He could have a private detective/investigator following you. My estranged family did that to me.

My guess would be either he can access your emails or he has at some point put a key logger on your laptop or other devise which has recorded every key stroke you make; therefore he will have all your passwords and see everything you type.

if i were you I’d replace all my devices. Set up new emails and passwords etc. Key loggers can be undetectable unless you really know what to look for and where.

You can also look up the unknown devices ip address, I had to do this once. It gave me the area of the device logging in to my account. So I then knew exactly who it was. And could report them.

I thought I had removed him from my Google account but then today I went hunting and found HIS phone number on my Google account as like the can't log in, text me number. I've logged out and changed my password. Paid for a spyware scan.

Didn't actually think about my laptop having spyware though. I bought that before I left too. I should check that too. God I hate that man. He served me with papers half an our before court stating my address which he shouldn't have and raising concerns that there is safeguarding concerns over our dating life that we haven't even engaged in in 2 years and never while DS has even been in our custody.

Change your router password too.

I agree with @SherbertLemons , he's likely put keyloggers on your devices and you might have to replace them.

I'm due a new phone anyway. I feel like either he's spying on my phone or someone very close to me is passing him info.

Check your children's devices. There is an app called Find My Kids that can listen in to the room on Android phones. The app that allows this is called Pingo.

Bugged toys?

I would do a Colleen Rooney and feed the people close to you who you think could be leaking info to him some fake news. See if it gets back to him. Don't do it via your phone or laptop in case he's tracking those.

Do you have proper 2FA set up on all your accounts?

You need to do that, change every password and then factory reset all devices. Scorched earth.

Get a password manager like dashlane set up. It generates random passwords for you so they're unguessable

You don't have a smart speaker do you? If you do and he has ever connected to it, apparently you can use it to listen in to conversations in that roomm Scary stuff but apparently doable and a friend of a friend was listened in to by her ex that way for quite a long time

He’s likely reading this too…

I'd suggest reporting this to the police. They may be able to check all of your devices for you.

Are your passwords easy to guess /have you changed them since split ?

do you trust friends

I think you need to change your physical phone, change your number and delete your Google account completely. Then set up a new account with new email. If you can afford a new laptop I'd do the same - or maybe as a first step you could take it to a computer shop and see if they can do anything for you.

If you get outlook you can get an authentication app that you have to press "yes its me" anytime you log in somewhere new on a set device. I think it can also be set to be triggered once a week or even every-time you logged in. That would stop him having control of anything.

I'd contact police in any instance and file a report. They cannot do anything but it would be good to have an official record of it incase of escalation with you OR hes also doing this to others.

I would completely change your phone and not have any accounts linked to it . Maybe get an apple phone and get a new iCloud altogether . It’s actually scary what hackers etc can do to gain access to
your life and it can really affect your mental health . Maybe get your new car checked for devices too . Make your life smaller for a while and grey rock him and everyone around you to cut off whatever access he has to you .

Sounds like my ex. I changed my email, phone etc

And id maybe get MN to edit your post, its fairly obvious the couples dating app is a swingers website....which he can easily set up a couples profile for, you dont need shit like that being brought up in court!!!

I agree with this. A different physical device to and phone number and email address is needed.

Telling the police also means that if someone else has an accusation of a crime against him, the police will also see that you have made an accusation against him and who knows there may be many victims where they can’t act on any one person’s information but several people reporting issues might mean they can take further action.

Could there be a camera in your house?

What an absolute nightmare for you. If you can afford it sell your laptop and buy another one. Change your phone. Change all passwords to really strong ones he'd never guess. Change kids laptop/phone/pass words. No idea how to check for hidden camera in your home or kids toy but so done might know. I'd report to police it's harassment.

If he still had access to your Google account then there’s a few things:

• he can set up another device and simply log in
• if you use Google password manager then he can see all your passwords to everything even when you change them

If you have social media, turn off all your location services. Annoying, but you could entirely disable location settings to see if that improves things.