How does my ex know everything I do?!

[Solost92]

My ex was controlling and abusive. He went mad when I sold my car becuase he had a tracker on it. He has watched back dashcam recordings to spy on me.

He knew I was dating and where I'd been on dates.
He knew I was pregnant and what we were naming our child.
He knows my address despite me never giving him it.
He knows about a couples dating profile dp and I have on a private site you'd only see if you were also a member and matched with us. Which he wouldn't as a single male.

HOW?!
I've scanned my phone for malware. His phone number was connected to my Google account and there was a device I don't recognise that's been logged in since 2022. Could that have been him? I thought the early dating info he had was from the tracker. I thought someone had blabbed about the pregnancy. There could have been a slip up somewhere maybe on school paperwork for him to get my address. There's a chance, he or his friends stumbled across our profile amount the thousands there are completely coincidentally. But I really feel like it's too many if and buts and he could be spying on me.

As others have said, you need to log out of everything and change all your passwords. I did this on the advice of women’s aid when I left my abusive ex. It worked.

Would he have been able to bug your home?

Do you have a child with this douchebag?

I don't work in cyber security and I can listen to my ex on his smart speaker. He logged in through my account and never deleted it. And I can 'drop in' and hear what's going on in the room. And he doesn't know, because I can also access the settings and disabled the chime alert noise that it used to do first.

Have I done it to see if it works? Yes. Do I do it? No. Can I also access his voice history of when he's asking it to do stuff? Yes. And that's how I accidentally found out he was seeing someone else in the first place. When I went into voice history to check what time I'd set a timer, and there was a recording of him asking it to switch the lights off with a girl giggling in the background.

And this wasn't a friend of a friend, this was me.

Someone who knows you will be telling him.

If it is an Alexa and he is logged in on the same account with another Alexa he can, you can say drop into Kitchen or whatever and it will connect to the speaker, it doesnt need to be in the same house, I know this as I use my Alexa to drop in to my parents house and my kids chat to their grandparents as we live far away from them. I unplug it when I dont want random listening, but yeah it def works.

Get all new emails and pick new complex passwords.

Be careful of what you are saying on social media, or telling friends.

Agee with this. Bet there is a 'friend' reporting to him.

I've never had fb... Exh used to send me pics of myself on nights out.. He'd trawled fb for people I knew.. Felt very violated tbh..
Has he left a nanny cam somewhere in your home? GPS on ds's coat?

Swinging ?

Go to the police!! This is cyber stalking and harassment and is a crime!! They will help you. Got to a phone shop and they will help you find the app or tracker that’s on it

I would report to the police if he’s making contact with you

+1 on this could/should be a police matter if you suspect he has been stalking you digitally.

I also would 'start again' with emails and phone numbers, even go as far as a full factory reset of phone and laptop you have. He is demonstrating he is happy to break laws to spy on you.

Too late! The cafcas officer said she'll be informing social services.

He raped me. No worries. I've had consensual sex with two people at the same time 😱

We don't have any smart devices in the house. DS doesn't own a device. We don't have WiFi even. I've changed all my passwords again. And done spyware scans. If I factory reset my laptop will that sort that? And I'll get a new phone.

And restrict what I tell other people.

He probably is watching me on here too tbh, he hates mumsnet, women supporting women? Evil.

delete your Google account and your router and any cameras and devices in the house straight in the bin. Trade in any old laptops or devices and start completely fresh with absolutely everything. Amazon account, FB account, YouTube account and definitely new router with new password everything will probably need updating at some point soon anyway. Most new accounts don't take forever to set up and change your phone immediately including every single password.

scorch earth the place you deserve complete privacy

a reset on the laptop would get rid of any spyware. You can back up files and pics to a USB stick if you need them. However if you don't use wifi with it then i don't think it will be from this.

He will know a password from something you have used in the past and you've forgotten about. email, phone browser history, phone account?

Might he have sim swapped with your phone?

Spend a few days doing your essential bits only on another logged out device instead. See if he gets anxious and contacts you/appears. Then you know it's something on your phone