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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

…to ask what you’d prioritize during mat leave, if you had your time again?

83 replies

ChilliGarlicMango · 20/01/2026 19:51

I have a gorgeous nearly 8 week old baby, and am really enjoying maternity leave so far. I go back to work in September, and am thinking about the months ahead and wondering if there’s anything I’ll regret not doing now once I’m back at work.

I’m a primary school teacher, and already mat leave is feeling a lot more enjoyable, slower paced and relaxing than being at work. I’d like to continue to make the most of my time off. Some things I’ve done so far:

  • baby sensory classes
  • baby cinema
  • meeting friends for lunch/ walks
  • going for pram walks and stopping at coffee shops

My baby is currently sleeping fairly well at night, so I’m generally ok energy-wise during the days. My partner is a teacher too, so we’ll have the summer off together.

Does anyone have any suggestions for things they really enjoyed doing during mat leave, and are glad they prioritized? Both day to day things, or maybe any longer trips you took with your partner and baby? (Thinking ahead to the summer).

Thanks so much! I’m aware of how special this time is, and would love to hear ideas from people who have been in this position before.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 20/01/2026 19:55

Probably the opposite of what you’re thinking but lying next to them while they slept watching how quickly they grow and change and counting their chubby toes and smelling their heads. It’s gone in a flash!

I loved having newborns, there’s absolutely nothing like it, so I’m really happy you’re enjoying it so much 🥹

Peonies12 · 20/01/2026 19:55

I was going to say those things! Take advantage thst you can have a holiday outside the school hols. And I hope you can take this as kind advice - things will change baby-wise. My own experience (and those around me) was that things often got trickier sleep wise from 4 months. So don’t feel bad if you don’t feel up to doing lots, if you just need to nap when baby naps etc.

EndlessTreadmill · 20/01/2026 19:57

I thinj more interaction with baby itself. Wg taking a bath together ib middle of day. Or just doing skin to skin in the day. I know my youngest loved the baths together but i was always too busy and focused on getting us out of the house to go somewhere.

mynameiscalypso · 20/01/2026 20:00

I wish I’d travelled more and spent more time going to museums/art galleries when DS was a baby. Unfortunately, my maternity leave was disrupted somewhat by the pandemic!

teaandtoastwouldbenice · 20/01/2026 20:01

Those are all lovely things, swimming and picnics when the sun shines are fun too.
But also allow time for naps and cuddles, just being together.

CeeCeeDeeBee · 20/01/2026 20:01

I loved sing and sign classes, and found they really helped with communication.

I also wish I’d spent more time snuggling instead of going to baby music classes 😂

ThatCraftySquid · 20/01/2026 20:03

Travelling!

I was nowhere near well enough at 8 weeks, but add a few months, and I was too anxious about travelling. I didn't do enough. I should have just gone away for 6 months.

Babies are completely portable, and travelling is the best way to take you out of the house and make the most of your time together.

My personal preference is going into airBnB flats (or houses) as soon as you have children - hotel rooms are too crowded and you miss the freedom of doing whatever you want at the time you want.

Mintearo7 · 20/01/2026 20:03

One of my best memories is late summer afternoons/early evenings in the park, usually with some other mum friends. I didn’t realise that when I had a second child that this time slot would be taken up with the school/nursery run for the eldest! So I’m glad I made the most of it on my first maternity leave.

Nameymcnamechange25 · 20/01/2026 20:04

I don't think I would prioritise classes as such. When I had my first, looking back, just being with him was so, so special. Sure we did some classes, but the opportunity to just do every day stuff with him, withouth work was so special! It wasn't the same with my others. We used to pop into town by bus or walk down, go and visit my mum a bus ride away, I would drive somewhere at nap time and just sit and relax with him close. It was a happy time.

Rosie8880 · 20/01/2026 20:07

ChilliGarlicMango · 20/01/2026 19:51

I have a gorgeous nearly 8 week old baby, and am really enjoying maternity leave so far. I go back to work in September, and am thinking about the months ahead and wondering if there’s anything I’ll regret not doing now once I’m back at work.

I’m a primary school teacher, and already mat leave is feeling a lot more enjoyable, slower paced and relaxing than being at work. I’d like to continue to make the most of my time off. Some things I’ve done so far:

  • baby sensory classes
  • baby cinema
  • meeting friends for lunch/ walks
  • going for pram walks and stopping at coffee shops

My baby is currently sleeping fairly well at night, so I’m generally ok energy-wise during the days. My partner is a teacher too, so we’ll have the summer off together.

Does anyone have any suggestions for things they really enjoyed doing during mat leave, and are glad they prioritized? Both day to day things, or maybe any longer trips you took with your partner and baby? (Thinking ahead to the summer).

Thanks so much! I’m aware of how special this time is, and would love to hear ideas from people who have been in this position before.

Enjoy taking your time. Enjoy if you can, leisurely coffees our or at home. If weather better, enjoy walks in park or coast or where you live. Enjoy cooking if you like it at home, yoga or whatever exercise at home or baby yoga classes. Enjoy allowing yourself to daydream, to read, to watch films, to enjoy art/ galleries. Enjoy not being in the clock for work. Enjoy watching and being with your child. Enjoy the seasons changing. Enjoy it all x

MerryGuide · 20/01/2026 20:10

Ohh enjoy, I loved mat leave but got a bit stir crazy so had to get out every day. If it did it again I'd chill out at home more, get things organised and cuddle and watch TV. When they're toddlers you did truly have to get out the house daily and now at 4 I never get a minutes peace!

Redboard · 20/01/2026 20:11

Making mum friends esp with babies the same age

Finchgold · 20/01/2026 20:15

I would ditch the baby classes and do more of the things I enjoyed like museums, galleries and concerts.

Finchgold · 20/01/2026 20:15

And more cake!

Scarydinosaurs · 20/01/2026 20:17

Taken my baby to my mum’s more and made the most of the time to be able to see my parents with the children while they were babies.

I loved maternity leave too. I probably worried about money too much during the leave - but I think that I’m just a natural worrier!

Like you, I loved the slower pace. I’d love to go back and do it again - even with the crappy nights and feeling dreadful!

Maryjanefame · 20/01/2026 20:17

Congratulations! It’s so lovely you’re enjoying it so much. I also loved my maternity leave. Particularly contact naps and taking baby out in a sling to coffee shops and to meet friends. If I could do it again, I’d do more of the same!

ZaraBlue · 20/01/2026 20:19

I did loads of baby classes, mums groups, walks etc with baby 1 and I was exhausted and he was pretty unsettled!! I was definitely forcing myself because I thought I had to. Baby 2 I have just snuggled at home and I couldn't be happier just soaking him up without the outside pressures. The classes and morning drop offs and extra curricular all increases so quickly so I wish I enjoyed having NO commitments! But it sounds like you are in a good place mentally so do whatever YOU feel like doing on the day!

SpotTheGreatPony · 20/01/2026 20:19

if I could go back I would pay a cleaner/ helper to come in to do all the housework so I could just focus on DD. Oh and I’d pay them to cook me a meal too. (I was alone 6am - 7/8pm everyday)

MTOandMe · 20/01/2026 20:20

The things I enjoyed the most about my Maternity Leave were not the classes or groups it was the 2pm feed when we would get laid on the settee, a blanket over us both and the dog laid on my feet and we would nap together. It was waking up in a morning and having sleepy ‘chats’, just us, with no where to go. It was the simple mundane of life with no rush, no stress, no ‘having to be somewhere’, because before long, when you go back to work, life will feel like an endless, drop off/pick up, go here/go there, things to do and places to be. Those months where it is just about you two were and will always be my absolute favourite time of my life.

Sosbanfachtheresatellyinmybath · 20/01/2026 20:21

The father 🤣
Seriously, if I'd chosen a better father for my kids I would have had more support. Not left struggling with PND while he'd bugger off to the pub after work.
I also would have eaten healthier and not eaten crap, as that's all I had chance to eat.
I'd definitely make making mum friends a priority too

lonelylavenders · 20/01/2026 20:25

With a small baby, doing whatever you like.

and I did this- I played video games with a baby in the crook of my arm, art galleries, worked on projects, walks, coffees, lunches, long lie ins…

but I am an introvert!

There is plenty of time for all the baby groups when your child is sitting up, interacting more.

enjoy the slow days where they are just coming along for the ride and you can do what you please with your squishy friend

redskydelight · 20/01/2026 20:33

Stuff that you want to do.

You won't have this amount of non-working time with such a portable child again.
Baby classes are not that interesting and only useful to get to know other mothers. Do all the things you wanted to do but never had time for.

MammaTo · 20/01/2026 20:33

So glad you are enjoying it, I loved maternity leave too. I did do 1 class a week which was lovely but my favourite thing to do was this particular walking route along the seaside promenade. I’d stop and feed the baby along the way, have a coffee, sit in the sunshine etc. Just soaking them in for as long as possible would be my goal for next mat leave, less pressure to get to multiple classes.

Original poster
ChilliGarlicMango · 20/01/2026 20:35

These are all so lovely! Honestly I can’t believe what a nice time I’m having. The days feel almost illicitly blissful. Today I went to baby cinema and just having him fall asleep on my chest whilst I cuddled him and watched the film made me feel emotional at the wonder of it all! I like the idea of going to galleries with him whilst he’s easily portable in the sling. Also the reminders to enjoy the cuddles, too. This is such a happy thread. Please keep the suggestions coming - I know I’ll be re-reading this a lot.

OP posts:
Bushmillsbabe · 20/01/2026 20:37

ZaraBlue · 20/01/2026 20:19

I did loads of baby classes, mums groups, walks etc with baby 1 and I was exhausted and he was pretty unsettled!! I was definitely forcing myself because I thought I had to. Baby 2 I have just snuggled at home and I couldn't be happier just soaking him up without the outside pressures. The classes and morning drop offs and extra curricular all increases so quickly so I wish I enjoyed having NO commitments! But it sounds like you are in a good place mentally so do whatever YOU feel like doing on the day!

Exactly same. DD1 I thought I needed to take her to every class under the sun, so it felt like we were rushing everywhere, but making sure home at specific times for naps, I was a bit obsessive about routines and a bit to stressed
DD2 was about 3 months when covid hit, so we had to stay home. Lots of contact naps, bonding time with both DD's together. I didn't feel guilty about not doing all the classes, as it wasn't my choice. And I loved it - hanging out on sunny days laying on mat in garden under the tree, chatting and playing.

DD2 is much more relaxed than DD. That may be just coincidence, but I do wonder if it's a bit due to a more chilled first year.
It's the only time you don't have to work to a specific schedule - no rushing to work, or school.