Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you grew up in a clean and tidy home?

329 replies

Netcurtainnelly · 20/01/2026 14:51

Apparently your more likely to be clean and tidy if you were.

OP posts:
ALittleDropOfRain · 20/01/2026 16:55

Yes I did, and I felt shamed for not being naturally tidy or being able to do my chores to a paren‘s satisfaction (indeed, I didn’t get any pocket money as a teenager because I just couldn’t clean to her standard. My sister could.)

My house is not clean and tidy. But the public areas are good and it never tips over into unmanageable hovel territory. Quite quick to do a reset if and when we need to :-)

Boeufsurletoit · 20/01/2026 16:56

I grew up in an immaculate house with lots of time spent on cleaning and tidying. I'm not a tidy person at all and also struggle with keeping the house clean!

EatYourDamnPie · 20/01/2026 16:57

Yes. Lived in squalor for years , got better after I had DD , now it’s cleanish and tidyish. Still absolute squalor according to my mum’s standards though. Grin

SpendLikeIts1985 · 20/01/2026 16:57

CraftyMintHedgehog · 20/01/2026 15:14

Yes. I was raised in a lovely clean home.

My home is usually very clean but NOT particularly tidy though. But a clean house is more important than a tidy house??

We have a dog and I really struggle with the mess the dogs made with mud and fur!

Can a house with dogs in ever be very clean?!

PlattyCat · 20/01/2026 16:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Slightyamusedandsilly · 20/01/2026 16:57

Yes I did. Clean and tidy but a lot of stuff. And I'm the opposite. Not a lot of possessions but have to work really hard to stay cleanish.

MapleOakPine · 20/01/2026 16:57

I grew up in a clean but rather messy home and I'd say mine is the same now! That's fine with me - I don't aspire to an immaculate home.

constantnc · 20/01/2026 16:57

No idea definitely didn't.
My house is clean & usually tidy

Bluebluesummer · 20/01/2026 16:58

Yes and I was messy as hell before I had kids because I have ADHD. Now DH and I are ruthlessly tidy.

Mapletree1985 · 20/01/2026 16:59

Netcurtainnelly · 20/01/2026 14:51

Apparently your more likely to be clean and tidy if you were.

Yes and now I'm a slob and I like it that way.

HisNotHes · 20/01/2026 17:00

My home was super clean and tidy growing up (my mum still keeps her house that way in her 70s) but I’m the opposite!
I mean, I have certain standards that I won’t go below and I always clean and tidy when people come round but I’m naturally messy and don’t clean fastidiously - hoover once a week max!

starryeyess · 20/01/2026 17:00

lotsofthingstodo · 20/01/2026 16:54

Yes and I would like my house to be tidy but sadly it’s not.
My dm did not involve me in the running or upkeep of the house at all so I left home with no housekeeping skills at all.
I feel shame whenever she visits, which I suspect she knows and enjoys

What are housekeeping skills? Surely it's just running a hoover round and wiping stuff over. It's not rocket science, I'm not sure anyone needs teaching.

My mum is obsessively tidy, you put something down and you'll never find it again. I'm the opposite, stuff everywhere and 100 things more interesting to do than cleaning.

AmusedMember · 20/01/2026 17:04

I did - but I was made to clean and tidy by my alcoholic father so I'm not so clean and tidy now!
It's enough for me, and my family! :)

Pinkyhere · 20/01/2026 17:07

I think the key element is if it was generally a happy clean and tidy home.
Those who grew up in miserable chaos are more likely to strive not to replicate that environment. But those who's childhood homes were ruthlessly clean might equally want to avoid a similar scenario.

ruethewhirl · 20/01/2026 17:08

Mostly. But I seemed to have a sudden epiphany in my early 20s (when still living at home) that everyone else's house seemed to be immaculate compared to ours. I don't think it's affected my own cleanliness/tidiness thresholds, though - I struggle a lot to keep our home tidy but it's more down to my ADHD than anything else. I would actually love it to be show home clean and tidy but never seem to be able to make it happen.

Playingvideogames · 20/01/2026 17:09

Sort of, I’m one of 4 so it was quite chaotic and there were always toys/clothes/random items lying around. Mum did the washing up once a day, hoovered once a week, wouldn’t have left mouldy cups lying around or anything like that but it was never visitor ready or show home tidy.

I’m pretty much the same now but a bit tidier as less children and more space.

Playingvideogames · 20/01/2026 17:10

starryeyess · 20/01/2026 17:00

What are housekeeping skills? Surely it's just running a hoover round and wiping stuff over. It's not rocket science, I'm not sure anyone needs teaching.

My mum is obsessively tidy, you put something down and you'll never find it again. I'm the opposite, stuff everywhere and 100 things more interesting to do than cleaning.

It isn’t though. It didn’t occur to me until about 25 that you need to pull the sofa out, hoover under the cushions, wipe down kitchen cabinets on the outside, clean windows. I thought it really was just washing up, hoovering and wiping of surfaces 🤷‍♀️

SpendLikeIts1985 · 20/01/2026 17:11

I was always embarrassed of visitors seeing our home growing up. Not a hoarding disaster. But bits of mould in the bathroom, carpet not hoovered, kitchen mugs unwashed etc. I don’t need to do minimalist, but my house is both clean and tidy, and anyone can visit any time and it’s more than fine. It had never embarrassed our children.

bcski · 20/01/2026 17:13

No, it was a shit tip most of the time and dirty.
This was because of my mother's long term health problems. She really couldn't manage all the household tasks and my Dad was run off his feet caring for her and his elderly parents and working.
My home is not a shit tip and it's clean but I've had to work really hard at getting into routines and I do still struggle with it sometimes.
I had to learn how to do everything as an adult because I hadn't seen it as a child.

amibeingaknob · 20/01/2026 17:16

I did. Stifflingly clean and ordered. I hated it. Im disorganised and messy and I love it. My home is very lived in and chaotic, and interesting - full of charm I think.

My brothers are just like my parents though - show home ready all the time, no character in their homes.

They are all great but each to their own. Funnily enough they all say how much they love my place and how 'quirky' it is. Go figure.

Cara707 · 20/01/2026 17:17

I grew up in a physically clean and moderately tidy house but I can't keep on top of housework at all. Only the kitchen is clean here.

Just to counter misconceptions about OCD I have very severe OCD, which means I can't physically touch anything that I consider to be contaminated. Whenever anything drops to the ground I can only lift it with gloves on, I can't clean the loo or toilet sink as I fear getting sick from faecal germs; I use lots of clothing (multiple changes each day), which piles up as i can't do laundry fast enough etc.

OttersMayHaveShifted · 20/01/2026 17:18

Yes I did. Mine is clean enough but I'm quite untidy.

TheToothFairy999 · 20/01/2026 17:20

I grew up in an immaculate home and may home is the same. It still managed to be very cosy and homely though and my house is the same.

Whowhatwhere21 · 20/01/2026 17:20

Yes I did. Then at 14 I left school and became obsessive with cleaning. I took it upon myself to deep clean the house every week, general clean everyday, prep dinner if I could, ironing, washing etc.... it lasted until my mid 20s and suddenly stopped being about the house, and moved on to the garden instead.

Anononony · 20/01/2026 17:20

Yes, we had chores and had to tidy our rooms regularly.

I am not a remotely tidy adult, but I am very good at keeping others homes tidy. If we stay away we leave the place spotless, when i visit my mum I'll tidy up and hoover, but it doesn't translate to home. Our house is clean but not tidy