To ask what type of children do better at private primaries?

[Helllooooooooo]

DD has just turned 4YO. She’s incredibly bright and switched on and stands out from her peers in terms of language, confidence and inquisitiveness (it’s an anonymous forum - I wouldn’t say this in real life!). She can write her name, count up to 100, do simple addition and subtraction, can read simple words etc. She can also be a bit of a performer and enjoys being the centre of attention.

I worry that she’ll be labelled as difficult at a state primary due to her chatting too much, joking around a lot and perhaps being the leader of group silly behaviour. I think that she’ll get bored if she isn’t pushed and will mess around.

I am presuming that this sort of behaviour will be nipped in the bud better at a private primary. She’ll be in a smaller class and I would imagine would be pushed more and set more difficult work?

I have no experience of schools yet - it would be great to hear of other people’s experiences with children with a similar personality.

To add, we live in a very nice area where the state schools are all considered good. We also have a wide variety of private schools too.

All of the primaries are big schools with 3 classes of 30 in each year.

SEN kids do better in private primary. Smaller class sizes and less noise. Yes, better attention to the individual of course with less children in class.

Has she been to nursery and does she behave like that there? I'm asking because she might be totally different in a large group of peers than she is at home.

I agree with this generally. Also quieter, more middle of the pack children that would be overlooked in a large state class do better at private schools IME. I know that's not relevant to your DD but it answers your overall question.

I think it's going to depend massively on the individual schools. You'd be best visiting the local state and private options to get a better idea. A good state primary should be able to support your DD, the money might be better spent on extra curricular activities for her?

She sounds lovely. I'd start her at the good school in your catchment and see how it goes. Various studies have proven that it is the child and the home enviroment which make the most difference to success at school. Your DD sounds plenty capable and if you contribute at home by engaging with her, all should be fine.

My two go to one of the best preps in our area (NW).
There are three classes per year, with about 22 in each class.
This was a feature for me, as I want them used to the larger classes they'll be in at KS3.
They are in Year 1 and Year 2 and we have no regrets. They've made rapid progress, have lots of opportunities, made some lovely friends and,.most importantly, love going to school.
Everywhere is different though, so it really comes down to your view of the school in question.

Almost all children do better in private because class size matters.

If you have good state primaries, use them. Your DD sounds like a confident bubbly child who will thrive anywhere. I wouldn’t move from private primary to state secondary unless you have really good ones, so be aware of what the long term costs might be from now till she’s 18 if you start her off in the private sector.

All children. However visit your local school and see how you feel. My dd is in the local school in a class of 20 and loves school. She's in key stage 2 not and as there's 2 classes of 20 in her year she's got a lot of children to play with but the individual teaching you get in a small class. Our local private school has more children in the class than she does. Think we got lucky but you never know

All children will do better in a school with smaller classes, more staff and resources.

Unfortunately only those with rich parents will get that opportunity.

Your daughter sounds very much like my eldest, who is now in year one.

We sent him to a pre-school attached to a local prep, with the assumption that he would continue all the way through. Although there was lots about the prep school that we liked, we struggled with how pushy/competitive the environment became as the children got a little bit older. After much debate, we decided to move to state primary for reception as we thought that the social benefits (less of a bubble of privilege - although I accept we were part of that!) and chance to have a less pressured childhood were more important than the advantages of the prep, which we can supplement.

So far, I’m pleased with our decision. He has a lovely time at school and is learning loads. They stream for maths and phonics (don’t think the children are aware of this) so they are able to cater for different abilities. Because of lower birth rates over the past few years, the class size is similar to the prep.

If we have any concerns or things change, we are lucky to be able to return to the private sector.

I don’t think there’s a universal type of private school just how there isn’t only type of state school. Really you have to go and see the schools in your area then decide.

I will say though that private has been really good for my DD- very well behaved but mildly dyslexic so is exactly the type at risk of getting overlooked in a large class. She is also really into the non academic offerings like sport, art and drama which (very broadly speaking) do tend to be better at private schools due to better facilities and specialist teachers.

My DN was moved from state to private primary. She wasn’t as advanced as your DD at the same age but she loved being in a learning environment and found her state school class very frustrating with some of the other children messing around all lot and wanted to stop going to school. I don’t know the details but it may have been that those children were just not ready for a school setting.
Anyway, she absolutely loved her selective pre-prep setting - approx 20 children, maybe fewer. Lots of the RRRs, play etc in an environment that suited her.
Unfortunately, there are very few (if any?) schools that can cater to a broad mix of NT, ND and SEN children adequately, let alone really well.

She’s never been to nursery.
I think that she’s shy until she’s familiar. And then becomes one of the louder children.

I do love this about her and don’t want to have her spiritedness squashed, but equally I am conscious of it getting out of hand and being disruptive. I’d like a school which develops this in her as a strength rather than labels her as difficult.

I completely agree that the quiet overlooked children would definitely be much better off at a private school!

It's not easy to answer, because it depends on the child and on the individual school.

Both my female cousins went to private school for primary and secondary until age 16. They got poor O level results and were moved to state sixth form, where they got a pair of very poor A levels each.

Was it because they went to a poor private school? Or because they weren't really very bright? I went to state primary and a massive comprehensive school, got decent O Levels and excellent A levels... Was it because the schools were great or because I'm more intelligent than my cousins?

That's not actually true.

I have one child in the state sector and one in the private sector. The one in a state school thrives in a bigger school with a larger peer group. They don't particularly need additional attention from teachers in the way that some children do and their school certainly has enough resources to meet their needs.

It's like saying that all adults would do better in a certain environment. We know that people are fundamentally different and need different things.

I think its really hard to know as she hasn't been to nursery. I would suggest getting her into a pre school as soon as possible so she has that experience prior to starting school. She may be very chatty and confident at home, but with a larger group of children it couod be very different

Have you applied to state primaries whilst considering this? Application date has now passed for entry this September I think. Private may be different.

I agree. One of my daughters friends was in state for reception and year 1. Moved private for year 2 as the hours worked better for her parents, rather than due to any specific issues in state. Year 3 she moved back again as the private school didn't suit her, to the point that mum changed her work hours rather than keep her at the private.

If you can afford it, private will benefit her of course.

I honestly doubt a state primary would squash her spirit. They don’t have much truck with actual discipline in most primary schools any more, even the good ones take a very soft line on misbehaviour. She’d just be more likely to be allowed to go rogue and not fulfil her potential if she has a flair for mischief and doesn’t concentrate.

I agree that it depends on the child and the school but, generally, I don’t see that there’s much benefit in private school at primary level. We had different concerns about our DS when he started school but he’s at a fantastic state primary school where the focus is on getting the best out of all the children. He’s super bright and is really pushed by his teachers but he’s also learnt so much on the social side too. Meanwhile, the private prep schools around us are closing constantly.

She’s incredibly bright and switched on and stands out from her peers in terms of language, confidence and inquisitiveness

The majority of parents will describe their own child that way.
The same was as every child is reading "years above their age"

Just be prepared to hear that A LOT 😂, both in state or private.

You might want to consider part time nursery/preschool. It’s great prep for school but also it’ll be good to know how she behaves there and how she actually interacts with her class so then you’ll have a better idea of what will suit her when it comes to a future school. Sometimes they can be very different at schools vs. at home.

Unless you have absolutely unlimited money and the possibility of having more children is also totally out of the question, I'd choose the best state primary (by which I mean the one you like the most on visiting, not necessarily the highest-achieving on paper) and see how she gets on. Save your money for private secondary (or a move to private part way through primary) if when it makes the most difference. Private schools can have many benefits, but ultimately schools and teachers are just...schools and teachers. You might well find the state primary appreciates, nurtures and stretches your DD and that you've been worrying for nothing. Equally, I wouldn't take it for granted that a teacher at private primary will regard your DD in a totally different light or take a totally different approach to any disruptive behaviour from the way a state school would especially if class sizes are similar. They might - but it seems to me you're borrowing trouble that doesn't yet exist at this stage.