To ask what type of children do better at private primaries?

[Helllooooooooo]

DD has just turned 4YO. She’s incredibly bright and switched on and stands out from her peers in terms of language, confidence and inquisitiveness (it’s an anonymous forum - I wouldn’t say this in real life!). She can write her name, count up to 100, do simple addition and subtraction, can read simple words etc. She can also be a bit of a performer and enjoys being the centre of attention.

I worry that she’ll be labelled as difficult at a state primary due to her chatting too much, joking around a lot and perhaps being the leader of group silly behaviour. I think that she’ll get bored if she isn’t pushed and will mess around.

I am presuming that this sort of behaviour will be nipped in the bud better at a private primary. She’ll be in a smaller class and I would imagine would be pushed more and set more difficult work?

I have no experience of schools yet - it would be great to hear of other people’s experiences with children with a similar personality.

@SemiSober he had everything delay ;) he’s 13 now and has fully caught up. Speech came before reading, i think he had caught up with speech around year 1, reading took absolutely forever. we and school finally cracked it with the toe by toe program. He is now at a reading level
much higher than his age, but it took a lot of effort from both us and school (several hours 1-2-1 tuition per week, plus small group, ….)

reception at state primary schools are very hot on teaching children how to get along in the classroom (not always being the leader, working with others, knowing when its time to listen)

Yep that’s my experience too. And nursery is also excellent for this, if it’s a concern.

My son (7) has been able to read since 4 but lacks comprehension also has significant speech delay (no back and forth conversation and unable to ask or answer questions). I do speech activities at home with him every day and have seen improvement, I hope he will catch up one day too! Do you mind me asking at what age you introduced tuition and for what subjects?

@SemiSober school pretty much started from the first term of reception, all supported by regular staff.
in year 5 we added specialist dyslexia/autism tuition (in school hours, but paid by us) , mainly to help him with his anxiety.
His secondary school is a (private) specialist autism school for high performing kids.

I can’t see why those behaviours would have her labelled as difficult, it sounds like she’d be admired and popular!
start in the public and move her if you don’t like it, environment and the group is more important than academic enhancement at this age. My bright child would be more extended at private but he’s at a good school and I don’t plan to send him private until secondary, encourage reading and problem books and free play.

Both my kids are in private schools and started at very good Prep schools. I have a 3yo who is already writing a few letters, counting up to 50 and doing simple maths. Your dd sounds exactly like the type of children that is in our prep schools.
These are what my kids peers are like and I think if she is in the right environment she will flourish. The teachers there will push and challenge the kids is a very nurturing way and I have seen this with my kids.

Oh I don’t disagree and I would never say this in real life. But DD is miles ahead of the toddlers her age at the groups we go to. A few other mums have pointed it out to me too (so I don’t think it’s just me being all PFB 😂).

And you find that in a good, selective private school she will be surrounded by kids who are very academically able as well. Having 2 kids in a very, very well know Prep I can say your dd sounds very normal compared to other kids at our school. Sounds like she would fit in well

My son went to private because he had autism and struggled in big classes. He did really well.

I would love to send my very quiet daughter to private as she is drowning in a class of 30 children with boisterous behaviour and various sen needs (very good school but there’s just a huge spectrum of needs and abilities with that number of children). Never considered private for first DD as she is more confident and happy there but my second is SO overwhelmed, overlooked and fairly unhappy. As a SAHM private isn’t financially possible for one let alone 2

Why doesn't she go to nursery or preschool? She sounds like a child that would love it and it would makes starting either type of school easier.

I would visit all the schools and decide from there.

I agree with every point here. I can think of some kids who'd have faired better in a bigger buzzy state primary versus a smaller private, and vice versa.

I can also think of kids I know who've had their self esteem battered by being put through a selective private school where smaller classes really do highlight those with lower capability. I'd therefore completely disagree with those who say that private is always better. It really does depend on the fit of child with school.

OP, I think you're predicting something which may not be an issue re your DD being disruptive. Many children are completely different when they start school which is all part of the journey. Some become more outgoing, others may become quieter in a group, etc. I don't think you can second guess it. Reception is a lively place, as it should be, but it's also a time for learning rules about order and organisation- every Reception teacher will tell you that's an essential part of the transition from home or nursery. Happy times, good luck!

Upper class ones, they dont have to mix with the plebeians then

But on a serious note, don't worry OP, your DD sounds a bright disciplined girl she'll be just fine in state comp

Surely the choice for private school is in part financial?

DS is at a private prep and it’s fantastic for
him- shy, bright and mild SEN. They have a learning support unit included in the fees
and have been brilliant with his motor skill delay and speech impediment. He’s an only child, it wouldn’t be financially possible if we had more DC.

Our local state schools have at least 30 in a
class and a lot of SEN child who’s parents are desperately fighting for the support their children need. It’s unfair on all the children and staff. I think they do an admirable job in tough circumstances.

There are also some terrible private schools locally that have unqualified teachers and the children run riot under a ‘child led ethos’ aka they do want they want.

I would enroll her in a Montessori school, or an out door nature school for her early primary education.
Try a state school for upper primary if the local one's are great.