Are we dating the same guy?

[captainturbet]

Been dating a man for a month or so, early days. But been speaking for a few months. He asked if we could be exclusive, which I agreed to.

My friend has sent me a screenshot- his picture has popped up on our local “Are we dating the same guy?” Facebook page. Someone stating they are meeting him next week and asking about him…

He swears he is only dating me, and this must be someone he has previously dated, bitter and out for revenge.

He does have a lot of women commenting on his Facebook posts, being cheeky/calling attractive etc.

AIBU to keep dating him? I’ve no experience with these groups.

Never heard of the groups but yeah, if someone has posted this it stands to reason he’s still using apps and looking for new dates.

Sounds too much hassle/drama. Things shouldn’t be this difficult after a few weeks. Even if this was true, people aren’t normally ‘bitter and out for revenge’ after a harmonious break up where neither party did anything wrong.

He says it’s someone trying to cause trouble for him/jealous etc. I just wondered if anyone in these groups knows if they are used for this purpose, or generally legit.

I'm on my local Are We Dating The Same Guy page and if he has been posted on there with information (dating multiple people, is abusive etc) then I would be running a mile.

Can you join the group and see/ask for yourself? The groups tend to be run quite well, as in no men allowed, and a space for women to try and check out who they might be involved with.

I’d be wary of a man so quick to accuse another woman of being malicious when claiming to be seeing them. Maybe just keep your distance. Red flag waving.

Run a mile. All the sm commenting and cheekiness is enough.

Join the facebook group and decide for yourself. Personally, I would be running a mile.

Wise up mate! Bin him and move on.

I think it's far more likely that it is true, than some random woman who could be bothered to cause this upset.

He does have a lot of women commenting on his Facebook posts, being cheeky/calling attractive etc.

🤢🤮

Men who are nice / serious / good humans really dont have this problem.

They dont have public profiles, they dont engage in this nonsense and they dont encourage it. They arent "cheeky" themselves.

They also dont have loads of "crazy" "bitter" "jealous" exs...

Im sure his cock IS so magical his ex has resorted to going on random fb pages and pretending she has a date with him JUST in case the woman he is dating sees it and she can mess up his day....🧐🙄

I'd be very very wary.

That sounds like BS. He's been found out. On a side note, what a great idea because it's alerted you to being potentially two timed.

How do you know this is a person who genuinely has a date next week with him? Could be an ex or anyone, really.

The Facebook page sounds like a brilliant place for anyone wanting to cause someone else trouble to do so.

But if you don't trust him, then he isn't the one for you.

In the words of Christine Keeler, he would say that, wouldn't he? I've looked on those sites before and seen somebody asking about somebody I'd had issues with in the past, so they are useful groups. They're for supporting women, not making trouble.

Join the group, message the woman.

you sound extremely naive

If hes legit or not he will say the same thing. You are better off joining the group and messaging the woman yourself. Also, ask him the name of his 'malicious' ex - if there is someone out to get him, and it does happen, then he would know her name and the context of when they were together and why she might be doing it, so you have something to cross reference.

If he cant say or there are multiple exes with axes to grind then run - i have maybe 1 ex who would slate me, most have ended of decent or neutral terms, if all/many of his have ended badly thats a red flag imo.

I have heard of the occasional malicious post on those sites, however the vast majority do appear to be legit.

Do you mean women comment cheekily on his Facebook posts and call him attractive or that he is flirtatious on Facebook?

We have this group for our area.

Most of the men seem really awful with many, many women coming forward and saying how badly they have been treated.

However, there a couple of posts that I don’t think have been genuine.

Join the group yourself and you will probably see the same pattern.

I will go against the grain here those groups whilst I am sure have some serious and genuinely supportive posts are notorious for joke posts. I know of a few people that added friends as “banter” or to “get back” at someone on them. If the post has all anonymous comments about chatting/meeting up etc I would take it with a pinch of salt. Obviously anonymous comments on domestic violence/abuse should NOT be taken with a pinch of salt. The point I am making is some people on the internet just play games to reel people in. Based on that it’s too hard to tell if you should fling him back. I would listen to your gut though… if you’re worried enough to ask more strangers on the internet, something must be off.

Well he is hardly going to admit it, is he?

You would be stupid (at best) if you don’t pay attention to a blatant ‘this guy is a lying prick’ warning.

I’m on one for my area and it would definitely make me more weary. Sure it could be an ex but I’d still think it unlikely. On mine it does seem to be women looking out for other women, especially warning people to do Claire’s law on men that are on there or warning of domestic violence, men that already have wives or have abandoned kids etc

I duno while I think there's maybe a good chance he's lying, I also don't know anyone normal who would post on some random page like this before going on a date with someone so am not completely opposed to the idea that someone is causing trouble.

A lot of them are public groups. If you were going on a date with someone, would you really post their picture on the internet on a site like this for anyone to see ? What if the potential date or friends ans family of the date saw it ? They'd probably think you were a bit unhinged and cancel the date.

I’ve seen these groups. I think they are legit. You can keep dating him but he will be hassle for one of two reasons - he is dating other people or he invites drama. I don’t know a single person who would want to post something malicious about me on fb because I don’t mix with dramatic people and I don’t act the maggot and make people want to post things about me.

i imagine he has already told this other woman that you are an ex who wants to cause hassle so she ignores your message.

It is a private group. He hasn’t said it’s a specific ex, just generally that it must be someone he has dated before. I am aware that he hasn’t dated quite a few women, he’s been single for about 3 years. We are both older, with grown up children.

He does have a public Facebook, it gets a lot of comments. It is part of his work. He got chatting to me through Facebook, I didn’t know him before that.

I thought it strange as well that someone who is going on a date would post a picture of that person on Facebook and ask other women about them? It’s not something I would ever do, that’s why I wondered if it is legit.

That’s what these pages are for, posting pic before you meet. I’m on one in my area and really helpful, it’s certainly made me swipe left a good few times after seeing him posted. As a side note he should not be getting screenshots as totally against the rules