Husband wants another child.

[Isit2026yet]

DH and I are early 40s. DD is early 20s. He's suggested we think about having a baby now. It’s a no from me but he thinks I'm being unreasonable by just saying no and not discussing it.

No, they weren’t. You don’t pretend to want to get pregnant anyway, you speak to your partner and have an honest discussion.

I swear I have read this exact thread at least twice before
maybe I'm going mad

No is a valid answer… because I don’t want to is a valid answer.

There is no discussion to be had, your DD is in her 20’s, you’re now in your early 40’s and do not want to do it again.

I would wonder why he has suddenly mentioned this now out of the blue, do you think he maybe is getting bored of life and wants another “big adventure” as such.

Is the 20s DD his biological child?
If so he is smoking crack in wanting another baby.
I mean you've done the whole thing, completely grown up child.

Fuck that.
I loved my dts younger years I really did and on the odd occasion I yearn for that little hand in mine and to be needed as much as I was back then.
But still...Fuck That.
They're teenagers now and we have a lovely relationship with shared interests, I can leave them to go to gigs, clubs snd the pub.
They make me a cup of tea and a bacon sarnie if I moan at them enough.
I couldn't fo the sleepless nights, dirty nappies and nursery rhymes again.
What is it he wants from a baby ?

Why now after 20 years? Have you discussed how many/if you're done before? Is this totally out of the blue or a conversation you've put off in the past?

This is crazier than him wanting a baby in the first place. By far the oddest comment I've seen on MN

Tell him he can have a puppy, or one of those bikes that middle-aged men seem to like, or some golf clubs, or a weird collection that bores everyone else…..anything except a baby.
No uterus = no casting vote

lol is he worried about you focusing on your career now and outshining him 😂

@Partiedout it came up 10 years ago in our early 30s, but I wasn't keen. We got a dog (still have her and another dog).

@zipadeeday i’ve always focussed on my career and he's done nothing but support that.

If you’re a no, where’s he going to gestate it? In a box?

Best not thinking about alternative options.

I’d be happy to discuss it, meaning he explains why he wants to have another child and I explain why I don’t, however I’d be clear going into the conversation that I won’t change my mind. There’s no way on Earth I’d ever contemplate having another.

I pressed YABU by mistake. Sorry.

Who on earth wants to be paying £££s a week for childcare through half of their 40s, doing the hell of primary school parenting through their 50s, managing a teenager and all that entails at a time when all your peers are thinking of retiring? Drop menopause into the mix, and consider the increased risk of problems, he should surely see it would be mad?

What husband would actively want to put you at risk in your 40’s? Maybe have a look at the complications that can arise for you and for the baby due to advanced maternal age.

That being said, no means no, no discussion should be needed.

I remember another thread with a very similar premise some time last year. That father’s friends were all starting and growing families later in life and the OP and he had had their baby very young. Is that what’s happening here? He’s feeling left out?

As to the question- if you don’t want another then he can’t have another, it’s simple. Status quo wins over the one voting for change, especially when the status quo voter is the one who would be doing the entirety of the work of gestating and birthing the baby, feeding it and so on.

This thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5323922-husband-wants-to-have-another-child