Husband wants another child.

[Isit2026yet]

DH and I are early 40s. DD is early 20s. He's suggested we think about having a baby now. It’s a no from me but he thinks I'm being unreasonable by just saying no and not discussing it.

Oh absolutely hell to the NO.

The golden rule here is that the decision of the person (in a couple) who does NOT want a baby trumps that of the person who does.

Having another baby in your 40s, when your child/youngest child is in their 20s, is peak batshit.

How is your marriage? Are you fairly happy? Or not? Is there a chance that he is threatened - or worried - that you no longer have the commitment of children? Is he trying to tie you down/tie you him for another 18-20 years?

It's all very odd.

If he persists, then tell him to fuck off @Isit2026yet

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No, you are absolutely not being unreasonable.
What prompted him to want another baby now?
Even if everything went great, you would be 60 when your kid becomes an adult.
Where is your own life?
What a strange idea from him.
Yes, I'm happily child free, six years older than you.
Your husband probably banged his head.

Whoever doesn't want a baby "wins"

If you don't want one then there is no disscussion to be had.

Tell him he's very welcome to get himself pregnant and crack on.

Twat.

Why after so long?

Why after so long?

Why after so long?

Why after so long?

Why after so long?

Tell him to get a hobby if he's feeling empty -nest feelings. Starting all over at this stage sounds like a nightmare. Plus the risks and toll it takes on your body and your career in particular can't be mitigated by him particularly nas you've every right to shut that discussion down.

Absolute no way

You don't have to discuss it. It's your body and the answer is no.

If he wants another child that much that it's a deal breaker, he has to go find another woman to marry and have a child with.

Is he unaware of the risks involved or just doesn't care? Is he using another kid as a way to keep you with him and more dependent, especially if you developed health issues or this child had health issues?

Absolutely batshit crazy !
who the hell wants a baby at your age and you’ve already got a adult daughter, who’s of the age where they could possibly have their own baby.
whats his reason for wanting a baby this late in life?

Not on your nelly would i have a baby in my 40s.
This is your time now op.
My baby is 23 in may I couldn't think of anything worse than going back to the baby stage.

Has this come entirely out of the blue, OP? Did you both decide 'One and done' 20-odd years ago when you had DD, or has he mithered repeatedly about this over the years?

Did you ask him "What's brought this on, then?"

My discussion would be:
I'm too old and don't want the higher risk of disability in the child
I'm too old and don't want to be still parenting in my 60s
I'm too old and think my perimenopause has started
And DD has been an only child for 20+ years so is very unlikely to be pleased by a new arrival

Also finally WTF does he mean by bringing it up now and not in the last 20 years

The problem is that there's nothing to discuss. It's not something you can compromise on. I'd be exactly the same. I'm mid 40s and planning for the next stage when dd moves out and we have to fund uni. The idea of starting again and having to find the money when I'm close to retirement is an anathema to me

Get a dog.
What's going on in his head!?

Why?? @Isit2026yet

Why? is he the controlling type who can't bear the thought of you having your life back now your DD is an adult. When he asks to discuss it tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't want to live under house arrest cleaning up shit and piss for the next 10 years while he fucks off out to work and does what he wants all day.

Why now? why not sooner ?

If he's bored he needs a new hobby. Destroying your body, your daily life & nights of full sleep is not an option.

No fucking way. Next question.

Is DD both of yours? It would be a hard no from me, def not being unreasonable