Has lack of Premier Inn breakfast ruined the weekend?

[Liesmorelies]

I mean, it hasn't, not for me, but DH seems to feel otherwise and I don't know if I've been UR. We (us and two dc) were in London overnight to see a show. We would normally maximise our time in the city and leave maybe this sort of time on Sunday, but we've all been ill and still feel a bit tired and rundown and so agreed we'd leave after breakfast and maybe a walk/quick trip to a park or the river.

When I woke I realised our PI was about a 20 minute walk from Shoreditch market where I was sure there are loads of cafes and stalls. Although we normally have the PI breakfast I thought this would be a nice change and mean we would be doing what we had planned (quick trip to somewhere nice and a walk) and could then leave. Also looked up a particular cafe that looked nice. Everyone agreed - all fine.

When we arrived at the cafe there was a queue. DH immediately said in a moody way, 'That's that then,' and started huffing. I said let's walk up (we were at the end of the road) it might not be that bad, but he had walked off. We ended up wandering around the area with him getting increasingly grumpy. Sods law, we weren't really going past any suitable looking cafes, although I'm sure the area is full of them. We did see a Pret but I didn't want that.

We eventually saw a nice independent cafe where we were able to have porridge,pastries, toast and spreads, fresh juice and lovely coffee. We all ate but DH wouldn't stop going on about the bloody PI. Yes, I get that he would eat his body weight there and we ended up with a relatively small breakfast that probably cost more (though our kids are 16 and 18, so no more free PI breakfasts!) but what we had was lovely, the place was lovely, and a bit different, and, ffs, PI will still be there next time. I offered to look for another place or even a Greggs for him to 'top up,' but he went in full strop mode. DS1 loves a PI breakfast too and he didn't moan, and dd was wanting pancakes in the place with a queue but she didn't moan that she didn't end up getting them, it's just him acting like a child. He also moaned about the cost, saying PI breakfast would have done for lunch as well, but we were home in time for a late lunch and no one wanted food on the journey so it's like he's just looking for stuff to moan about.

We're home now but he has said he's sick of me making all the decisions, I'm fussy and nothing is good enough and I'm just hard work. He's gone for a run but it was an atmosphere all the way home. Did I do wrong - I get I could have looked at booking but to me it worked out fine in the end.

I mean, ffs. How do you know I can? You don't know what my work hours are, where I live and what the cafes are like, what my budget for treats like this is? Honestly...

😂😂😂😂

oh come on

I am chuckling because my dad absolutely loves a PI breakfast. He’s not a foodie type of person, he wouldn’t thank you for a lovely meal out somewhere - but loves a cooked breakfast so PI is his time to shine. He’d be raging if someone took this away from him.

I don’t think you were unreasonable to want some interesting food but I would have booked. Sounds like he just want to eat an unlimited amount tbh.

You can go to a Premier Inn breakfast any weekend too! you don't have to be staying there and kids still eat free with an adult breakfast. We go far too often.....

At this point it seems as though you are letting this ruin your weekend 🤷‍♀️

Have you asked your DH why he was so sulky when he was onboard with the plan? Because if he genuinely was then he's completely unreasonable but if this is the symptom of a deeper issue where he feels railroaded into decisions he didn't agree with then that explains why his reaction was so strong- it could be that it's not about the breakfast at all it's about resentment that he feels like you made the decision and his preference wasn't an important factor in that decision. If on the other hand he said "yes that's a good idea, I'd like that" or something to that effect then he's just being completely unreasonable.

It has taken me several painful decades to learn this. I am queen of the 'lets find a nice little whatever', I have several identified on tripadvisor but when we get there, either its too busy, they dont take bookings (breakfast places rarely do), its a horrible ambiance, I dont like the table position Im offered, they havent got on the menu what their website has on the menu, it has a horrible smell, any number of reasons and the contingency plans are quickly running out

And I think why didnt we eat in that basic crap place where I would have been fed by now.

He’s the unreasonable one for ruining what could have been a nice morning. I understand being hangry but an adult should be control their behaviour for the sake of the group.

/Misses point of thread

If you are in that area again this place is worth having in the back pocket

https://www.polobar.co.uk/

Is your DH comments about you, always making decisions and being fuss correct?

I suspect this is more about those issues rather than a PI breakfast however its cold and damp so walking around searching for food isn't a great way to start the day.

Ask your dh, what both of you could have done to help the situation, what needs to be discussed ahead of time.

You’ve clearly not read properly. The DD isn’t a fan of premier inn breakfasts. They always previously ate there despite the OP AND DD not really liking it much. The OP made the suggestion of somewhere else and everyone agreed. They didn’t spend “ages” looking for somewhere else - it was 15 minutes.

The excuse of “hangry” stops at about the age of 10 (if not earlier). If you can’t get a grip of yourself when hungry then you are certainly not mature enough to have a wife and children!

Tbh I do get rather grumpy if I’m hungry and we’re just wandering around trying to find somewhere, especially if I could have just had something at the PI. Once I’d eaten I would have pulled myself together though, unless this kind of thing was a regular occurrence (someone regularly going off piste and consequently making a simple task more difficult).

If he agreed without offering his opinion or suggesting an alternative or having to be persuaded then he is being unreasonable. Having a strop for hours because you ate breakfast at one place over another, and had to wait an extra 15 min than anticipated is childish and pathetic. Not offering an opinion and then banging on and on about something afterwards is also childish and pathetic. If he doesn't make a decision, someone has to, and it's not fair to say that you make all the decisions - how many suggestions did he make about what you did at the weekend.

He should have just said he would rather have the PI breakfast and used his words like a big boy. They all do this in my experience, go along with something for an easy life end then moan / sulk. I do see the value in a PI breakfast tbh, he most likely would have eaten enough to sink a ship and therefore it would have been better value for him. I don’t see why you should have to suffer a have something you don’t want though. The better idea would have been that him and DS1 had a PI breakfast and then had a coffee / water while you had a breakfast that suited you and you pushed back going home for an hour or so.

How is it a compromise if they always eat there and the one time OP wants to eat somewhere else her DH has a strop?!

I cannot get my head around how many people think men’s ridiculous reactions should be pandered to.

That's quite the story you've created!!

A cynic might say this reads like damage limitation, even though the YANBU votes are in your favour.

The long and short of it is that you got what you wanted, at the time, expense and enjoyment of your DH and DCs. Selfish is as selfish does. It doesn’t really matter what strangers on the internet say if the people who actually matter and love you - your DH and DCs - see you as someone who puts their own preferences first and foremost.

Hmm.

How was it worded op? Can you be a bit overbearing in all honesty?

"does anyone fancy going somewhere different for a change?" is a pretty neutral suggestion where everyone has a chance to input. So id say tough for your DH he had his chance to speak up (possibly!)

"I dont fancy breakfast here let's go somewhere else theres a nice cafe ive looked up 20 mins away, what do you think" is also fine as long as they can push back, you accept the majority feeling, and they dont regret going up against you as it were.

By that I mean my DP can "suggest" things like the second example. In the past when i/DC have said no, we still fancy <original plan>, if something has backfired a bit - food takes too long/wasn't great or whatever, he'll either have a face like a dropped lasagne, or go on and on about how we should have done what he said.

So, now, unfortunately, when he suggests things in the first way, possibly because he has mellowed a bit, sometimes ill just agree even if id want a bit of a discussion or compromise. The damage has already been done because he did it the second way for so long. Not always, I do stand my ground but somrtimes I just cba. So if you would admit you have been a bit overpowering with how you word things, or difficult when someone has disagreed, then I can see how this situation came about even if on this occasion it was just a genuine neutral suggestion from you.

As a side, id be absolutely gutted if I ended up with porridge and pastries and toast over a Premier Inn brekkie, unless the toast toppings you rave about included sausage, bacon, eggs, beans, shrooms etc 😬

So it would be fine for her DH to put his preferences first and insist on the Premier Inn breakfast despite two of the party not really liking it?

I stay at London Premier Inns regularly and never have the breakfast. Used to but I can get a better breakfast elsewhere.

Well OP clearly think she was fine from her replies but I wonder if it's part of a pattern of behavior ie someone regularly going off piste and consequently making a simple task more difficult.

We tend to grab PI breakfast as they fine and there and gives us time to fill day with other stuff - but wouldn't be adverse to something else. However have had trips where we wander for ages as someone has an idea but then it harder to find somewhere to eat either due to size of party or someone not happy about something or place turns out to be shut that day and others start to get very fed up.

However Op clearly doesn't think it was that more her DH sulking.

When it’s his birthday you are going to have tell him you have a special surprise.
(It's got to be a PI breakfast)

@Liesmorelies Aside from the breakfast, is there any weight to what he said about you making all the decisions, being fussy and hardwork etc? Have there been similar incidences before? (Not saying there has, just wondering why he said it) as it seems quite an extended reaction for breakfast (for it still to be simmering in the evening).

I’ve eaten a lot of PI breakfasts in my time…. Now we tend to look for a cafe near by instead. Having a husband that gets hangry, I tend to make sure it’ll be somewhere we will get in. But we’ve always eaten better …..