Has lack of Premier Inn breakfast ruined the weekend?

[Liesmorelies]

I mean, it hasn't, not for me, but DH seems to feel otherwise and I don't know if I've been UR. We (us and two dc) were in London overnight to see a show. We would normally maximise our time in the city and leave maybe this sort of time on Sunday, but we've all been ill and still feel a bit tired and rundown and so agreed we'd leave after breakfast and maybe a walk/quick trip to a park or the river.

When I woke I realised our PI was about a 20 minute walk from Shoreditch market where I was sure there are loads of cafes and stalls. Although we normally have the PI breakfast I thought this would be a nice change and mean we would be doing what we had planned (quick trip to somewhere nice and a walk) and could then leave. Also looked up a particular cafe that looked nice. Everyone agreed - all fine.

When we arrived at the cafe there was a queue. DH immediately said in a moody way, 'That's that then,' and started huffing. I said let's walk up (we were at the end of the road) it might not be that bad, but he had walked off. We ended up wandering around the area with him getting increasingly grumpy. Sods law, we weren't really going past any suitable looking cafes, although I'm sure the area is full of them. We did see a Pret but I didn't want that.

We eventually saw a nice independent cafe where we were able to have porridge,pastries, toast and spreads, fresh juice and lovely coffee. We all ate but DH wouldn't stop going on about the bloody PI. Yes, I get that he would eat his body weight there and we ended up with a relatively small breakfast that probably cost more (though our kids are 16 and 18, so no more free PI breakfasts!) but what we had was lovely, the place was lovely, and a bit different, and, ffs, PI will still be there next time. I offered to look for another place or even a Greggs for him to 'top up,' but he went in full strop mode. DS1 loves a PI breakfast too and he didn't moan, and dd was wanting pancakes in the place with a queue but she didn't moan that she didn't end up getting them, it's just him acting like a child. He also moaned about the cost, saying PI breakfast would have done for lunch as well, but we were home in time for a late lunch and no one wanted food on the journey so it's like he's just looking for stuff to moan about.

We're home now but he has said he's sick of me making all the decisions, I'm fussy and nothing is good enough and I'm just hard work. He's gone for a run but it was an atmosphere all the way home. Did I do wrong - I get I could have looked at booking but to me it worked out fine in the end.

I think this thread has been swayed by people who see food purely as fuel, and those who enjoy trying new places and different experiences. I love Spitalfields and I would always prefer exploring a local area in a new city, to find a non chain cafe to eat at. You can have a PI breakfast anywhere. It’s not special!

I do think if your family are prone to hanger (and it seems they are), a more specific plan and booking should perhaps have been made though.

The problem with all of these sorts of things is you need to have both sides of the argument before you get the full picture and otherwise there are a lot of assumptions made.

It's not clear to me "she was doing something nice for her family". It could well have been "she was doing something nice for herself and that she thought her family ought to like (but actually didn't)" and the family was press ganged into it.

It's also not clear everyone got a "nice" breakfast, or at least the breakfast they preferred. Unless you actually ask them and get them to tell you what they thought. One persons idea of a "nice" breakfast might be shovelling down near endless rounds of scrambled eggs and bacon and mugs of instant in an institution-like breakfast room, not the pastries and gourmet coffee in a fluffy cafe with flowers that some people think they ought to like.

I suspect both sides made some mistakes here, but without hearing the story from both sides it's unlikely anyone will see the full picture.

Sorry I didn’t make it clear, I meant that he is accusing you of being exactly what he is! I’m on your side!

That’s the bit that I’m not sure about

There wasn’t a discussion. Someone said “there’s a Pret - what about that?” - and you replied as you did basically shutting down the conversation

I’d have been more open - especially given you had been trekking around for a while and people were a bit under the weather and hungry. Recognising what a PP said about not much seating at least you could have had a snack and a coffee before heading out once more

Again I’m not excusing the sulking - that is not good.

@GasPanic

yeah, all good points, we weren't there and haven't heard the other sides of the story.

My second husband was like that, always setting up things that he thought we ought to like. And he didn't approve of planning (really!), he liked to be "spontaneous". And if I ever complained about the unnecessary 5 mile road hike (to get to the start of a beautiful walk) or the 2 hour wait (because he didn't know the start time) he was "just doing something nice for you" and I was being "ungrateful".

And I think therein lies the difference, doesn't it. OP isn't complaining how ungrateful they all are, she's questioning herself and asking if she did something wrong.

And whichever way you read the "nice breakfast", her DH's behaviour is unacceptable, surely. As an adult, you make the best of things, you don't determinedly cast a shadow over the whole day. I think he was being immature, selfish, and unpleasant.

I would say this is the behaviour of someone who, rightly or wrongly, thinks he doesn't have enough power in the relationship - and this is what I think OP might want to address with him (in a calm moment).

I do think if your family are prone to hanger (and it seems they are),

Sorry to pick one out of many, but people keep saying 'they' and speaking in the plural but: It. Was. Only. DH. Who. Had. The. Problem. I made that clear all along but people keep grouping it as 'them' against 'me,' and it wasn't that way at all. It's frustrating.

Is there any truth in him saying basically that you are bossy?

"convalescing" ffs 😂

They were well enough travel to London, watch a show and stay overnight (not to mention apparently "bulk up" on an all you can eat buffet's worth off stodge) but yes, let's act like OP's family are 19th century heroines dying of consumption and the short stroll (sorry "march!") to a cafe risked finishing them off!

Good question. Probably, yes.

There’s two types of people on the thread, those who can’t fathom not getting the PI breakfast and those who would rather go out.

i think we can all agree though that sulking/silent treatment is not ok and your DH is a dick.

I suspect the person who put forward the idea of Pret that you dismissed out of hand was a bit annoyed, but just handled it better.

To be fair neither the OP or their DH seem like they are good at letting things go...

I would just split up to do what everybody wanted for breakfast then meet up afterwards. I'm more like you OP and would like something different, but sounds like he had his heart set on it. My parents always took forever finding somewhere we agreed on, so DP and I just do separate things with whichever kid wants to go with us.

Dear lord, you sound like hard work!

Why do you bend over backwards trying to make him happy when he doesn't even bother to moderate his moodiness for you or the kids? Looking for a Greggs so he could "top-up"? Flip that!!

Sounds pretty simple, DH had psyched himself up to stuff himself at the AYCE PI buffet with cheap sausages and bacon and then immediately regretted agreeing to go elsewhere and got in a double huff with ending up with something small and continental. He is being a bit immature and grumpy at the situation and grumpy at himself agreeing to go elsewhere in the first place. Once he is in a calm mood ask him what that was all about and was he regretful about his strop.

I do think your husband overreacted, but also don’t see why you didn’t have the breakfast that was provided (unless the breakfast there is awful?) If the rest of the family were happy with the breakfast and wanted to eat there, it would only have taken a short amount of time to have it, (you could have just had a coffee if you weren’t hungry or didn’t fancy it) then you all could have gone about your day, rather than going on a wild goose chase to find somewhere else suitable to eat when you were unfamiliar with the area. Traipsing the family around London while you’re all getting increasingly hungry and short tempered was not the best idea and predictably ended in disaster.

You act like you've had plenty of PI breakfasts, then say it's included in the rate? It's never included in the rate, you always have to pay extra for it, only kids eat free.

RG89

You act like you've had plenty of PI breakfasts, then say it's included in the rate? It's never included in the rate, you always have to pay extra for it, only kids eat free.
Yep my mistake!
We used to stay in Premier inns about twice a month through the hockey season for about 5 or 6 yeas when my kid played away games in the junior leagues and we always had breakfast. I thought breakfast was included asDh settled the bill for the 3 of us.

One good thing about one of tbe Premier inns we used was they would allow the kids have two breakfasts if they had an early training session, so if they were on the ice at 08:00 hrs they had something to eat before and they allowed them.back in after training. Im certain it was unofficial but the lady that always seemed on duty each year was really good with the kids and said they needed feeding!

I liked Pi breakfasts and we always stopped at one at Dumfries when we went mountain biking in Dalbeatie. Staff were good there and would look after our bikes over night so they weren't left on a roof rack.

RG89
Hang on! You say I'm acting like ive had loads of pi breakfasts.

Why am I acting? I probably could have retired early if we didnt have to travel up and down the country staying in PI and buying expensive kit for ds sport for 8 years! Lol 😆

The Premier Inn breakfast is amazing - especially at Dublin Airport.

You picked the hardest and worst option.
A lovely breakfast laid on for you downstairs - and instead you traipse around in the cold, on the hunt for food.

I'd be VERY pissed off.
Although I would have refused to follow you anyway and would have had a lovely breakfast at the Premier Inn.

Some people just want to do things the hard way.

Why didn’t you take into account what he wanted to do instead of dragging everyone out looking for a cafe that may or may not exist in an area you apparently don’t know very well?

This isn’t really about breakfast is it? It’s about him getting sick of your behaviour so I’d discuss it with him if I were you, before he meets someone who doesn’t deprive him of a Premier Inn breakfast.

It just sounds to me that it isn't about the breakfast as far as your husband is concerned. He sounds angry about other issues in your relationship. Perhaps time to dig a bit deeper and find out what the true issue is? Also, you said that all of you were feeling poorly and that can make people very grumpy 😠 I hope you manage to sort things. Xxx

Sounds like the hangry type to me. I usually skip breakfast and would happily wander around trying to find the perfect spot for a new and memorable dining experience with the perfect atmosphere rather than just food. That being said I know my dh, despite being the most lovely man I've ever known, once hungry... Can be a right mare 😂 of definitely opt for the PI breakfast. Not worth the drama 😂 he is over reacting, probably a bit embarrassed by his behaviour and doesn't want to admit it and insanely decoding to double down on his behaviour. After this many years together I'm sure you can see the funny side. Take him a few snacks (maybe a snickers 😅) he'll soon calm down 🤭