Has lack of Premier Inn breakfast ruined the weekend?

[Liesmorelies]

I mean, it hasn't, not for me, but DH seems to feel otherwise and I don't know if I've been UR. We (us and two dc) were in London overnight to see a show. We would normally maximise our time in the city and leave maybe this sort of time on Sunday, but we've all been ill and still feel a bit tired and rundown and so agreed we'd leave after breakfast and maybe a walk/quick trip to a park or the river.

When I woke I realised our PI was about a 20 minute walk from Shoreditch market where I was sure there are loads of cafes and stalls. Although we normally have the PI breakfast I thought this would be a nice change and mean we would be doing what we had planned (quick trip to somewhere nice and a walk) and could then leave. Also looked up a particular cafe that looked nice. Everyone agreed - all fine.

When we arrived at the cafe there was a queue. DH immediately said in a moody way, 'That's that then,' and started huffing. I said let's walk up (we were at the end of the road) it might not be that bad, but he had walked off. We ended up wandering around the area with him getting increasingly grumpy. Sods law, we weren't really going past any suitable looking cafes, although I'm sure the area is full of them. We did see a Pret but I didn't want that.

We eventually saw a nice independent cafe where we were able to have porridge,pastries, toast and spreads, fresh juice and lovely coffee. We all ate but DH wouldn't stop going on about the bloody PI. Yes, I get that he would eat his body weight there and we ended up with a relatively small breakfast that probably cost more (though our kids are 16 and 18, so no more free PI breakfasts!) but what we had was lovely, the place was lovely, and a bit different, and, ffs, PI will still be there next time. I offered to look for another place or even a Greggs for him to 'top up,' but he went in full strop mode. DS1 loves a PI breakfast too and he didn't moan, and dd was wanting pancakes in the place with a queue but she didn't moan that she didn't end up getting them, it's just him acting like a child. He also moaned about the cost, saying PI breakfast would have done for lunch as well, but we were home in time for a late lunch and no one wanted food on the journey so it's like he's just looking for stuff to moan about.

We're home now but he has said he's sick of me making all the decisions, I'm fussy and nothing is good enough and I'm just hard work. He's gone for a run but it was an atmosphere all the way home. Did I do wrong - I get I could have looked at booking but to me it worked out fine in the end.

And his reaction when you told him to unpack and pick up the pets?

I think there are two types of people in life - those who would really prefer having a Premier Inn breakfast in a place like London ignoring the hundreds of amazing places to explore. And those who would not be happy with that… I wouldn’t want to be married to the former particularly if they sulked when they didn’t get their way. Very unattractive

I've been there before. XH would suggest breakfast somewhere and make me wander around with nothing in my stomach, and I felt like killing him! I've learnt it now and I would NEVER leave the hotel with no breakfast or at least a cookie. I either buy something to eat in the room before I leave, or no deal. You were very UR, it would enrage me.

Um, well, he'd gone out so...You're determined to make this my fault for some reason. I'm so bossy and controlling he wasn't able to get the breakfast he wanted, but I'm also so passive and pathetic and that's why he went for a run and left me to sort everything.

"Hurting" because he didn't get to eat the breakfast he wanted? How dramatic. Sometimes. Sulking is just sulking

Well, on the plus side, he's sick of you making all the decisions so you csn now hand off the mental load to him and let him organise your lives from now on. No more cooking for him "I didn't want to decide what you ate" no more washing "I didn't want to decide if the clothes on the floor were clean or dirty, or choose what laundry detergent to use, or choose howmdirt your clothes we're and what wash to put them on, or choose whether the things in your pickets want washing too." No organising the holiday "I didn't want to choose for you." Mate the decisions you make on his.behalf day in day out so that he never needs to worry which brand of soap gives him a rash on his tushy. Stop. He hates you making decisions for him so leave him to it.

Now I may be wrong about him being a big old.man child but competent men don't often throw tantrums.

I think a good number on the thread have been able to see that there is more to it than him not getting his breakfast.

Ok you’re bound and determined to be in the right here so I’ll bow out now.

However your posts are starting to come across to me as manipulative. And don’t bother disagreeing because I’m sure I’ve got it all wrong and there’s another reason why you’re not wrong.

Hopefully you enjoyed the show and spending time with your family it’s a shame that it’s all been ruined by breakfast and 10+ hours later you’re still upset about it.

Also a good number of people have also seen he didn't get his own way so made a big fuss and spoilt the rest of their trip

You're right @Yellow544 there will always be those who lack the discretion to read between the lines, even though in this case reading glasses would not be needed.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day and hopefully it will be resolved in the household. Night night!

What the fuck is this thread?

If OP’s husband wanted to eat at the PI, he could have said so.

If he’d wanted a guaranteed table at the cafe, he could have booked.

He’s not a child. Sulking because your wife hasn’t sorted your breakfast out? Pathetic.

I feel like there’s a new generation of women on MN who are completely clueless about abusive men and their behaviours. They seem to have a very low bar and think everyone else should too.

Or is it the MRA’s infiltrating?

You’d probably get better advice on the Relationships board OP.

It’s been ruined by a grown man sulking like a child because his mum wife didn’t read his mind and have his breakfast ready?

Honestly OP I’d just ignore 90% of the bullshit on here. For a start, anyone who describes an adult as “hangry” can be safely ignored. An adult who can’t control their temper if breakfast is delayed by an hour is genuinely in need of medical help. Same goes for the “I don’t function without coffee” folks. If it’s hyperbole it’s funny, but if literally true they’re addicted to caffeine and nobody should change their lives based on an addict’s demands.

A crazy amount of women just can’t help but give in to the ridiculously sexist notion that the wife&mother of the family should be prepared to sacrifice every ounce of their own happiness for the greater good of the family. And they never expect the husband&father to make such sacrifices. I’d bet good money that if your DS had been on your side and DD wanted the premier inn breakfast a good number of responses would be the opposite.

Ultimately though, it sounds like you and DH are not communicating well at all. It isn’t fair that you are left to make a plans and then get moaned at. He may be a dick, or he may have fallen in to the lazy habit of expecting you to magically make everything work. You need to talk.

I'm not sure why you are so determined to think the very worst of the OP and the very best of her husband. To be honest, I find it very odd.

You’ve got to understand there are a lot of sad little men who come on here pretending to be genuine posters who get a kick out of telling the OP she’s wrong no matter what.

Or they’re just not very bright.

Yes, that's a really good point. I shouldn't rise to it but it's just frustrating to see OP get overloaded with awful, misogynistic replies.

I think sometimes one has a vision on one’s head of what something will be like and when it’s different it’s disappointing.

Sounds like his vision was big cooked breakfast and when that’s your dream even two nice pastries aren’t going to cut it.

But please pity me instead. I was promised a Premiere inn breakfast the Christmas before last and told stories of how brilliant it was. But they couldn’t fit us in because they were renovating and I got no breakfast at all because there were only two eggs (at my sister’s house) which she used to make pancakes for the children. No bread, all finished. She offered me yoghurt or a smoothie and frankly I’d rather starve. I had a Greggs vegan sausage roll at 11 on the drive back home and it was barely adequate.

So anyway YABU but sulking is very unlovely behaviour. The thing to do is to silently seethe while politely pretending everything is fine.

The most unreasonable part of this is your dh punishing you for a decision he jointly made with you! What a baby!

Personally I'd have preferred to PI breakfast, but I'd have said at the time.

@Liesmorelies- did it spoilt the whole weekend or just the journey home when you were all tired and unwell anyway, so was always going to be a bit shit? You need to reframe. You had a lovely time but you’d already decided you wouldnt do anything on the Sunday, just get up have some breakfast and go home. You tried to squeeze in a fun breakfast anyway, it didn’t work out, on reflection a bad idea when everyone just wanted to eat and go home. But that will only spoil the whole weekend if you decide this ending of the weekend is all that matters.

Yes, I have and they are in a whole category of their own. Over three decades mine had got away with it just to make my own life bearable. And before anyone says anything, yes, I should have left probably even before marriage.

Or after not before. Why you clean your teeth before breakfast. You cleaned it after tea so can't get dirty unless you eating overnight. I clean my teeth like everyone I know after breakfast hence why Id struggle to eat then not clean my teeth

Last time I had a PI breakfast, it was lukewarm and was quite limited in terms of choice - it was massively overpriced the circumstances. So the next time I stayed in one I gave it at a miss and went to a Tesco's cafe 10 minutes down the road. It was a lot better and cost £4 less.

I'm so sorry, I'm team DH as I've been there. My DH is really fussy, hates chain cafes/restaurants, needs 'ambience' and all that. Whereas I get HANGRY. So many times we've been traipsing around for somewhere that fits his needs, me thinking about how I could be full and happy if we'd eaten at first place we found. And I have snapped after one of those days, asking why his needs trumped my need not to be hungry. It caused a much bigger discussion! So perhaps there is some of that in play here?

So another thread where thd man ruins a family day out. Leave him behind next time. Just take the teens. Sulky twat.