Has lack of Premier Inn breakfast ruined the weekend?

[Liesmorelies]

I mean, it hasn't, not for me, but DH seems to feel otherwise and I don't know if I've been UR. We (us and two dc) were in London overnight to see a show. We would normally maximise our time in the city and leave maybe this sort of time on Sunday, but we've all been ill and still feel a bit tired and rundown and so agreed we'd leave after breakfast and maybe a walk/quick trip to a park or the river.

When I woke I realised our PI was about a 20 minute walk from Shoreditch market where I was sure there are loads of cafes and stalls. Although we normally have the PI breakfast I thought this would be a nice change and mean we would be doing what we had planned (quick trip to somewhere nice and a walk) and could then leave. Also looked up a particular cafe that looked nice. Everyone agreed - all fine.

When we arrived at the cafe there was a queue. DH immediately said in a moody way, 'That's that then,' and started huffing. I said let's walk up (we were at the end of the road) it might not be that bad, but he had walked off. We ended up wandering around the area with him getting increasingly grumpy. Sods law, we weren't really going past any suitable looking cafes, although I'm sure the area is full of them. We did see a Pret but I didn't want that.

We eventually saw a nice independent cafe where we were able to have porridge,pastries, toast and spreads, fresh juice and lovely coffee. We all ate but DH wouldn't stop going on about the bloody PI. Yes, I get that he would eat his body weight there and we ended up with a relatively small breakfast that probably cost more (though our kids are 16 and 18, so no more free PI breakfasts!) but what we had was lovely, the place was lovely, and a bit different, and, ffs, PI will still be there next time. I offered to look for another place or even a Greggs for him to 'top up,' but he went in full strop mode. DS1 loves a PI breakfast too and he didn't moan, and dd was wanting pancakes in the place with a queue but she didn't moan that she didn't end up getting them, it's just him acting like a child. He also moaned about the cost, saying PI breakfast would have done for lunch as well, but we were home in time for a late lunch and no one wanted food on the journey so it's like he's just looking for stuff to moan about.

We're home now but he has said he's sick of me making all the decisions, I'm fussy and nothing is good enough and I'm just hard work. He's gone for a run but it was an atmosphere all the way home. Did I do wrong - I get I could have looked at booking but to me it worked out fine in the end.

Your H agreed to the plan and when it ended up being less than perfect because of the queue, regretted it. Rather than just accept that it wasn't the best call after all, he decided to abdicate all responsibility, blame you completely, and give himself an excuse to vent his frustration by being unpleasant to you. Very poor behaviour. I hope for your sake it's a one off and not the norm for him.

Yes I stay at a PI sometimes and the hot food is always cooked to order, they also make very nice bowl of porridge if you ask them!

I normally love a nice independent café but I would have been well pissed off if I'd had to trail around hungry while the op turned places down, especially if we could have had a perfectly OK PI breakfast.

You say that the family discussed the plan and agreed to go out to the cafe, he says you always get to choose where to go. I'd want to get to the bottom of this - does he believe that he advocated for the PI breakfast but no one heard or listened? Regardless, sulking only made the situation worse. Did he even suggest going BACK to the PI at any point? He says you are difficult but he sounds difficult himself.

The hot food is only cooked to order in some PI - it depends on the location ( and possibly how busy a particular place is )

I’m not really sure what you want from this thread OP.

Every time someone has an opinion that’s different than yours you seem to get quite cross.

Whether we all think that a fairly simple breakfast of toast, porridge, and pastries is better than a fill-your-boots PI buffet is neither here nor there really. Some will agree, some won’t - but it’s irrelevant.

The issue is when choosing where to eat whether you considered your family’s views (which honestly, I’m not sure about having seen your comments on this thread!) and whether your DH is reasonable to have a full-day sulk about not getting what he really wanted.

It just sounds like an ordinary breakfast at home.... I think what a lot of people consider more of a treat is a full English or cooked options like eggs, bacon sandwiches etc.
Toast/porridge/pastries sounds like what's on offer at a chain coffee shop in the mornings that doesn't really do cooked food. I certainly wouldn't think of toast and spreads or porridge as 'nice breakfast out' type options!

It was £12.99 and I think £9.99 for dd, who would have had continental. So £48 for a breakfast 2 of us aren't that fussed about. I thought we could spend similar (probably a bit more to be fair) and get something we all loved. That didn't completely work out but it's not a financial issue.

Gorging? Ok. The OP's husband clearly has a healthy appetite if you and the OP think that he should make do with a nice pastry and a coffee, the price of the breakfast is the least of the DH's problems...

We prefer give and take in my family.

I’m on team DH here - you turned down an all you can eat and drink PI breakfast for an independent cafe. I’d be more than sulking so would DC, the breakfast is the best part of the stay. He’s well within his rights to be sulking.

You don't seem to have had anything in the independent cafe that you couldn't have got at the Premier Inn, apart from the coffee being nicer. They probably bought those pastries in Aldi and made the porridge from a packet of Scott's Oats.

I think if my husband and kids had fancied a PI breakfast, I would have let them have it-especially as you weren't all feeling A1 and it is the middle of a cold January.

You could have tottled off on your own for breakfast and met them back at the hotel. They could have finished the packing while waiting for you.

Was it worth the upset for a nicer coffee. By the way, who pointed out the Pret and why did you knock that suggestion back?

Your husband sounds disappointed-he had been looking forward to something and he agreed to something else because he was led to believe it would be so much better and it wasn't.

He now says you're hard work, you make all the decisions. Well, that hasn't just come off the back of this breakfast alone has it? This incident seems to have crystallised what he might think is a pattern of behaviour for you.

Next time, let the poor sod have his breakfast and you have yours.

Grown adults sulking is pathetic.

Sometimes sulking is hurting. The person who has caused the hurt often likes to call it sulking though.

Has to be a woman in the wrong for some people.

Is this the mumsnet equivalent of godwins law?

I’ve always sort of wondered and this thread seems as good as one to ask in.

I despair at the responses on this thread. She had an idea of going out for breakfast, all agreed, no one argued or even asked to stay and eat in the hotel.

It didn't work out as the cafe was busy and all blame was put on her. At any point her husband could have said let's go back to the PI. He didn't, ate his breakfast and sulked for the day!!

People are just trolling, OP. That’s why they keep making up bizarre details that aren’t true and going off on tangents about them. They’re just trying to get a rise out of you and will keep doing it as long as you respond to them.

It’s unreasonable for your husband to be sulking like this. If he was really that fussed about having the PI breakfast he could have gone down and done that while the rest of you were getting ready and then just had a coffee or something when you found a cafe. It’s fine for him to be a bit disappointed that you couldn’t find a place that offered a cooked breakfast but not fine to sulk. And not fine to keep being stroppy about it when it’s over and done and you’re home now. It’s also unreasonable for him to complain about you making decisions when he always opts out of doing it.

Yes I’m interested in what you think happened here OP given that you think every explanation put forward is wrong.

Either it’s probably one of the reasons here or your DH is a massively unreasonable ogre who enjoys making you miserable for no reason and in fact had a perfectly nice morning and enjoyable breakfast.

Which do you think is correct?

This ^

Pathetic sulky behaviour from a grown man who couldn’t rally himself let alone ‘the troops’

Sorry OP must be exhausting managing* the emotions of a toddler man 💐💐💐💐💐

@BookAndPiano Jesus Christ - I did let him and he agreed to the plan!

I have already said that I do make a lot of decisions and he is pretty passive and doesn't really suggest a lot. That can be hard work. Who planned this whole trip, based on the fact that dc and dh love the tv programme? That would be me. Do I like it? Not so much, though I did like the show. I am always trying to think of nice things for us to do as a family and it is hard now the dc are older. I think if we hadn't done what we did we'd have had the PI breakfast, gone probably to the river, wandered aimlessly, maybe had a coffee - but we'd have had plenty of that at PI...Just felt a bit shit as an idea. But going for a nice, special breakfast seemed like a good plan and a bit different. I realise we should have booked but he didn't need to sulk is my point.

Everyone was a bit poorly and tired. Things did not work out as expected (as is often the case) People's tolerance was probably not what it could have been due to the above Real life is not the movies and sometimes things go to shit. On reflection it would have been easier to eat at the Premier Inn (despite half of mumsnet deciding this poison, rather than a fairly priced and standard hotel breakfast). This is life and yes you will be sad paying for an over priced breakfast that did not live up to its promise, you will all move on. People get snappy, and 'I told you so'. The end

Everyone was hungry, you wanted to eat somewhere nicer and make an event of breakfast. They wanted to eat breakfast, you’d not booked anywhere, so this was probably about you wanting the nicer experience and they just wanted to eat.

I think for future, think if you want to do a nice breakfast you need to book somewhere. If you just want to grab something, then the hotel you are staying in or a chan like pret.

Sorry but this dos read like you made grabbing a bit of breakfast a drama when you said yourself, everyone was unwell and didn’t want to go sightseeing.

12 pages of dissecting breakfast choices and grumpy people. Yes it was annoying, but only if everyone who was there is still grumbling about it in 2 days time. Regardless there will be another 708 messages on here about the breakfast of broken dreams, long after dh and dd's have forgotten about it...we shall still be analysing bake beans and the value of the pound. OP has been called, selfish, shallow and all manner of things, DH has been called selfish, shallow and all manner of things. OP just wanted a nice morning, DH just wanted a nice morning, it went a bit awry, no one kicked a kitten.

There is no need to Jesus Christ me, there really isn't @Liesmorelies I wonder if your husband has heard a few of those today.

I have been in a situation with an overbearing personality.

Any decisions or suggestions I made were generally poo pooed. So, I stopped making suggestions and decisions and eventually the overbearing personality told me how passive I was and that he had to take responsibility for everything.

So, he made me into someone who realised that my suggestions would almost always be over-ruled and then blamed for becoming like that, moaning how everything fell to him, he was tired of it etc -when he was the author of it.

That is why I asked you who pointed out the Pret and why you felt it was perfectly ok to over rule them. It isn't.

One small incident , the straw that broke the camel's bank, crystallised the whole thing for me and I packed up my bag and walked. I was young and had no ties but I wonder how it must feel for others who are tied down.

Well you need to say this to him not posters on here - his sulking was not helpful.

Also that you find him being so passive annoying - that you are putting in all the effort in and are starting to resent that.

You also need to listen to his reponses -as I wonder like many if he and the kids have a very different view of what happened or if they were all fine and he just behaving poorly.

I often get flack from the kids when my DH is pushing ahead with a plan - sometime not unreasonably - they're not happy about and can feel very stuck between them and him - and often won't tell him - so I see if that was what was happening here or if was all his foul out the blue mood.

Well I'm sorry you went through that, but you are projecting here in a not particularly helpful way. The 'poor sod,' could have had his breakfast, and a Greggs after the substandard one he did have, and whatever else he wanted too. I think if it was up to him we would just all sit all day and not go anywhere or do anything.

Ok @Liesmorelies . He is completely and absolutely in the wrong and you are completely and absolutely in the right.