Where do you hide your running away fund

[Somuchsugarinoneday]

If you have one?

I’m soon going to be working more hours and earning almost double what Dp does. I’m not planning to run away, but I do want to save that money and Dp is hopeless with money and it all gets frittered away somehow.
I want/need to save the money for an important reason-medical tests and help for my ill Dd and then possibly a trip to Disneyland in a year or so. I plan to work very hard for as long as this opportunity presents itself and to save as much as possible.
I’m thinking cash in a larger envelope, but where? My thoughts are in a high up picture frame in Dd’s bedroom, but i’m not sure 🤔

Where do you hide yours, if you even do?

It's not about being greedy or keeping more for yourself. It's about making sure that you are never trapped in a dosmetic violence situation because of lack of access to money in order to get away.

It's hidden because if the abusive partner knew about it they would remove access to stop you from leaving.

It's nothing to do with screwing your partner over. It's about making sure you can get somewhere safe when shit hits the fan.

When I lived with my parents I had a running away fund for when I had enough for my own flat. MY parents had no access to my bank account and as I was paid by transfer they had no idea what my salary was. This was back in the 1960s when fewer people had bank accounts.

If it was now I would open one of those online accounts separate from my main bank account.

If i felt like i had to hide money from DH it would be a huge red flag for me.

How will you explain where the money came from to pay medical bills and for Disney? You can have secret savings but the spending won't be secret.

I think it depends if he can see a random notification on your phone pop up from a different account or bank. You don't want to be caught on the hop.
I haven't read all your replies sorry, does he do much housework? If he's not often in the kitchen there are a few places to hide cash easily.as long as you remember where you've put it each time. X

Open an account in your name, and choose paperless billing if it’s an option in your country. If he ever finds out you can tell him it’s because he is terrible with money and someone needs to save for the future.

When I separated from my ex in 2020, my solicitor told me to do a “ stuffed sock” savings scheme - get some money in cash from the bank and also cash back at the supermarket each week to build up a secret fund! I had to hide this money in the house as if I put it in a bank account, my husbands solicitor might do a search for it. With three teenage children in the house I had to be creative where I his it so I had some in a tampax box, some in my Christmas card stash, some in my knicker drawer etc.

Then when I went on holiday and had £4000 hidden away, I wanted a more secure place so I emptied out a box of veggie burgers in the freezer ( my children hated them so I knew they would never open the box, and stuffed my notes inside it! It remained in the freezer until 2004 when the divorce went through and I had £5k in total. I had to give my ex all our savings and the proceeds from selling a caravan and a boat in order to buy him out of the house so I started my single life with a buffer of £5k which he never knew about!

My children laugh about it now but for me it really was security for our our new life post divorce.

However, I don’t think you need to so secretive, just put your money into an online high interest account or an ISA, I put some of my inheritance from my Mum into a Leeds Building Society account and only have online access and get all correspondence as emails, no physical letters or statements. I also opted for no notifications as well even though I’m not keeping the account secret, I just get fed up with notifications constantly popping up on my phone!

Open a monzo account, there’s no branches and everything (including opening it) is done through the app. It’s paperless and then hide the app.
im sorry you’re in this position. Also in case it helps, if you explain your situation to a lot of banks they would be able to help you secretly.

Sorry but if you are not in the UK and not getting paid in pounds sterling, then most of
of these bank account suggestions are useless. You'll need to tell us your country and currency in order for us to help.

Do you have an old handbag in the back of a cupboard, or holdall / suitcase? He's unlikely to look in there unless any of you are planning a trip, and Im assuming you'd know before he went to pack so could grab it back?
Or if you have any gardening stuff this time of year?
Christmas decorations box is unlikely to be touched soon?

Sorry it's for medical stuff for your daughter ❤

Open a Monzo account and save it in a pot or one of their instant access savings. It's all digital.

Hi op, my partner and I have joint account where money for bills and food and savings goes into. I opened some savings accounts with the same bank provider where I then send the savings money to, for holidays and rainy days, as well as a normal savings account. I transfer those funds from the joint account, after we have both paid in. On our online banking apps, my husband can’t see any of the savings accounts for holidays etc that I opened, he can only see the joint account. That’s because the savings accounts are in my name only. This wasn’t intentional at the time but they aren’t a secret and my partner doesn’t mind either way. Perhaps you should do this, and have the money being provided from both of you towards DD health bills and holidays? Seems unfair that only you are saving for those things. Also means you don’t need to hide it, or explain at a later date where the money suddenly came from. But, because they are in your name, he can’t access them and fritter it all? Hopefully he will be on board with the idea of support for DD and also the idea of a future nice holiday? And recognise that he would fritter it? You could show him the balances each month though to show the money building up.

And, as a separate point - I also have a separate current account for direct debits in my name only, with a different bank provider, and a few saving accounts linked to that, for personal savings. I think you should also be doing this with a chunk of your monthly earnings. My husband has no idea what I’m saving in mine (nor do I for his personal ones, which he also has).

I reccomend a high interest one that you pay into monthly and don’t touch, for the future, that will build interest and is there if you need it. Most banks will let you have one. And then an easy access or limited access ISA. Your husband can’t log on to your banking apps unless he knows (1) that you have it and (2) you password x

Or just say it’s a marketing letter if he just sees the envelope , if he physically sees the actual letter I suppose you’d have to make something up eg old childhood account or something

My sister in law keeps her running away fund in my savings bank account.

I don't have one, because I don't feel like I will ever need to run away. Been with my partner for 20+ years (lost count), and so far so good👍

How on earth have you managed to get a well paid job and these are the type of questions you are asking? You don’t know what paper free is?

Max out your ISA allowance and then max out your Premium Bonds. I actually prefer PB’s as the money is so much more accessible.

Maybe just tell him you are startig a saving account for the future, and getting one of those long term deposit ones so the cash won't be accessible. Then go paperless. So a very small white lie only.

I have a savings account solely in my name that I access online - no hiding cash in envelopes for me! It's not really a running away account (although it could be if I wanted it to be), more of a rainy day/emergency stash (which recently bought us a new car when the old one gave up on us).

Some people want to have control over their spouse's finances to trap them so I understand why some of us want to hide the "run away" fund.

Anyway, I don't hide, I just have an ISA for any sort of emergencies. ISA can only be yours, he can't force you to share with you. Some don't send any physical letters at all like trading 212, you can also put cash in their high interest invest account to pay bills. This will give you immediate access (also cash back!)

Why don't you suggest a finances a restructure. You both get paid, you have a spreadsheet of all outgoings, all bills, groceries, anything for your daughter, savings jointly and for her in different accounts, then whatever is left over is split in two for personal spending/fun money, he might like that he can do whatever he likes with his, sounds like he'll spend it all. You don't have to with yours. Get Monzo or similar and have pots. It's what we do, DH is aware I don't spend all of my personal money and before Christmas I was looking to buy something expensive and book a trip with friends and he said can you afford that (he was offering money from our joint short term savings), I said yes and explained I often don't spend all of my fun money so have savings for things like that. He didn't know exactly how much, but he has now gone and got himself a Monzo to do the same as I think it clicked he's been frivolous. It's a set up that gives you both financial security and financial freedom.

Just open an account at another bank if you're so paranoid about about him finding out. Ask for digital statements only and no post going to the house.

Don't hide cash in the house because it'll go up in flames if your house ever caught fire plus it's a security risk.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

Maybe call this an emergency fund which covers all emergencies rather than a running away fund.

Not rtft but the very obvious answer is to juat open another account as many have said. I would suggest an ISA of some kind. Thia can all be done online now, my banking is all.digital so no posted statements. However, I am.much more concerned by the fear you seem to have of being 'found out'. How is your husband in other areas of life? Is he controlling? Do you have a trusted friend or therapist that you could talk to to get a better idea of how your relationship compares to others. Good luck and happy saving!

I’m you could bank with Monzo? They are online only so you won’t get any post.

Haven’t read all the thread.

IMO, you always get a single letter when you open a new account, to your address, and one when you close an account. I have lots of accounts with different institutions. This is for online accounts.

Surely your salary goes into this account you share, so he will know what you bring home, it won’t be a secret when you start moving money elsewhere or taking large sums of cash out.

How are you a high earner and so financially naive?